Discussion Balancing loneliness with authenticity

[NoHorizon]

Recently I've been feeling very lonely with my thoughts and feelings, and would like more physical company (as in face to face rather than online) than I'm currently having. At the same time, whenever I see friends or family I'm left feeling tired and frustrated because of the need to wear a (metaphorical) mask in order to be palatable enough for a normal (non-suicidal) person.

Have any of you found a way to be able to be authentic to your feelings while remaining social? Is it finding people who feel the same way, or discovering a hidden line you can reach but not cross with how open you are about it?

 

[FrustratedGirl]

I haven't yet, sadly. Buti can relate very much. For me it comes in phases: sometimes I try to be as authentic as possible (not tooooo much, so I don't have to go to the psych ward) and sometimes (like right now) I keep my mask on. Sadly people only want to do something with me when I have my mask on (although they creep on saying that I have to be authentic and they'll be there no matter what)…

 

[Dejected 55]

Not really, no. I have always found surface-level communication to be easy. I can talk and get along with most people on a surface level. But as soon as I want to go deeper and especially when I begin to want/expect deeper reciprocation, it all falls apart and I find that most people just have no interest beyond surface-level communication.

People seem to only want to talk in buzzwords and phrases and platitudes and whatever the current "talk of the town" is... and if you want to dig deeper and form a more substantial bond of friendship or a relationship beyond just superficial... they either ghost me or balk and run away or outright tell me off.

I honestly find more depression in trying to connect and failing than in just sitting home alone... but being here alone is so intolerable that I keep trying to make connections and failing at it anyway.

 

[Defatigatis]

Was in a similar situation a couple minutes ago before my relationship ended.
The context of the breakup did not involve the subject of pretending on my part.
We didn't speak to each other for a few weeks before it happened, and i thought about it a lot and decided that i was tired of pretending to be someone I wasn't: normal, ordinary, inferior.
I chose that i would be true to myself from then on, and even felt relieved that it was over; it was like freeing myself from invisible chains — Even if it means perhaps facing unrequited impulses for physical contact and affection, i chose again being authentic and true to my own superiority and singularity.