woofwag
Bad dog
- Sep 17, 2025
- 473
Never really left, but took a small break from this site. Mainly because I have a job and stuff now. Getting money is cool, I guess. It doesn't make me feel a whole lot better, but it does make me feel more secure since now I don't have to worry about homelessness.
Anyway. Death is still on the mind every single day. But now I have less time/energy for prep which pisses me off. Not that I was doing much of a good job at it before… I'm a lazy guy.
This sucks. Everything sucks. I'm such a piece of shit in every aspect of my life. Lazy, bad at socializing, bad at my passions/pursuing any of them, ugly, traumatized, and riddled with mental illness.
None of that really matters though. You can have all that and find some way to be ok, I think. What matters is that I'm suicidal, and those are just the reasons. There's more, of course, but yeah. I am very ready to be done with it all. It's the only thing I truly give a shit about now.
Anyway. Death is still on the mind every single day. But now I have less time/energy for prep which pisses me off. Not that I was doing much of a good job at it before… I'm a lazy guy.
This sucks. Everything sucks. I'm such a piece of shit in every aspect of my life. Lazy, bad at socializing, bad at my passions/pursuing any of them, ugly, traumatized, and riddled with mental illness.
None of that really matters though. You can have all that and find some way to be ok, I think. What matters is that I'm suicidal, and those are just the reasons. There's more, of course, but yeah. I am very ready to be done with it all. It's the only thing I truly give a shit about now.
I am truly still in the pits of it, especially because I am actively encountering situations where I'm physically attacked in my job (I work as a DSP supporting a person with disabilities, and occasionally they can become physically aggressive during behaviors) so idk, I just feel my nervous system way more activated than before.
