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V

V0latile

And God decreed, “Coronavirus spread forth!”
Sep 24, 2019
234
It's like I've been guilted to stay alive for years and it enrages me.
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
I personally believe when you are ready, the hate of your family is inconsequential. It doesn't mean you don't love them. The pain is greater.
 
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T

TotallyIsolated

Mage
Nov 25, 2019
590
Yes yes yes yes yes x1000

TBH I want them to find me dead and feel bad about it more than I actually want to CTB in itself.

Decades of having to put other people's needs and feelings before my own. Then when you have the temerity to say how you really feel, *THEY* get offended. "Think how your death with affect *us*" they say, anmd "don't be so *selfish*". Its infuriating. I feel so bitter and resentful, but I could never actually say it.
 
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R

realjunes

Warlock
Oct 1, 2019
730
Yes yes yes yes yes x1000

TBH I want them to find me dead and feel bad about it more than I actually want to CTB in itself.

Decades of having to put other people's needs and feelings before my own. Then when you have the temerity to say how you really feel, *THEY* get offended. "Think how your death with affect *us*" they say, anmd "don't be so *selfish*". Its infuriating. I feel so bitter and resentful, but I could never actually say it.
Totally,
You just did actually say it. And thanks for doing it for many who wish to say it too.
 
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L

LittleJem

Visionary
Jul 3, 2019
2,669
I have got to the point where I can be angry with my family for wanting me to prolong my suffering. If they love me, they will need to respect my decision and want me not to continue suffering.

I am making it clear to them that they need to say goodbye to me, as I might not endure this suffering for much longer.
 
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O

oopswronglife

Elementalist
Jun 27, 2019
870
I get it. Mine are narcissists and don't care about me now...but they will soak up the attention and condolences from well meaning but clueless people, and also hate me for the guilt they will feel because they know they are shitty people and shitty people hate having that pointed out or brought into their thinking more than anything in the world. Their ego is all that matters. If I cannot get someone to help me before Christmas I think I am going to TRY to go then...not intentionally to ruin it for anyone but more because I don't want to suffer another holiday, but it will be a bonus that they will have to be reminded of it every year whilst faking being good people in their shallow social interactions and fake lives.
 
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RealLostSoul

RealLostSoul

once rock bottom, always rock bottom
Oct 11, 2019
212
I personally believe when you are ready, the hate of your family is inconsequential. It doesn't mean you don't love them. The pain is greater.

gotta send that quote to one of my fellas that keeps saying you have to eat shit just so u don't hurt others.
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
gotta send that quote to one of my fellas that keeps saying you have to eat shit just so u don't hurt others.
Stan ripped my heart out when he CTB. His pain was greater than mine to do so. I cannot even think about how great that pain was.
 
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RealLostSoul

RealLostSoul

once rock bottom, always rock bottom
Oct 11, 2019
212
Stan ripped my heart out when he CTB. His pain was greater than mine to do so. I cannot even think about how great that pain was.
Sorry if this question sounds dumb or intimidating but who was Stan?
 

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