Yes yes yes yes yes x1000
TBH I want them to find me dead and feel bad about it more than I actually want to CTB in itself.
Decades of having to put other people's needs and feelings before my own. Then when you have the temerity to say how you really feel, *THEY* get offended. "Think how your death with affect *us*" they say, anmd "don't be so *selfish*". Its infuriating. I feel so bitter and resentful, but I could never actually say it.