Are you leaving a note?

[Siamese Believe]

I'm gonna get started on my note sometime this week, I'm still thinking about everything I'm gonna write in it. I know there's a guide here on that so maybe I'll check that out if I can find it again.

I know I'll definitely apologize for choosing such a violent method, but I'll say it was because I had to ensure no one would be able to save me and prolong my suffering.

 

[NaturalBornNEET]

Only thing my notes gonna say is no funeral

 

[starboy2k]

my dead hanging body will be the note I leave

 

[anhedonic_moron]

no, haven't done it in my previous attempts, probably won't do it the next

 

[weallhaveourghosts]

Currently on the fence about it but tbh not even sure what I would say if I left one. This one would have to be my last and I would have to know for sure the method will work as having a note, someone finding it, and for some reason end up surviving is typically the way you end in a psych ward. At least, that's been my experience.

 

[black money boys]

yes

in the note i will write 5 segments, in this order:
1. apologies
2. why i did it
3. how to reset my devices incase they want to reuse them
4. ask for no autopsy to be done, and to be cremated and have some of my ashes shipped to my girlfriend
5. reassurance (no pain felt during the process, i am truly happy with the decision, etc.)

 

[emptyshells]

I'm too worried about about sounding insane. There's a lot that I want to say, but I have a tendency to ramble. That, and my history of mental health issues... I worry that people will discredit my words as a crazy person's ranting.

I want to name the people who harmed me, and describe what they did, so that maybe my death will prompt an investigation. I don't want to die in silence, because they don't deserve to have relief in knowing that I am dead and will never try to pursue justice.

But every time I start drafting my note, it turns into an angry, hateful rant about how many people abused me, looked the other way, or helped cover it up. And I don't want anyone to dismiss my final words as wrathful nonsense. I get too emotional, and I don't want my note to be incoherent from emotion.

I am wondering if it is better to die in silence, maybe just for my own peace of mind. Maybe it's different for other people? I have nobody in my life, so I know nobody will personally care about what I did or why.

I guess I'd say to anyone questioning a note, just ask yourself why you're leaving one. Is it for those you leave behind? Or is it for yourself, to go with peace; knowing you said what you needed to say? Is it posthumous instructions? A last will?

Most people don't leave notes, it's more of a trope than reality. I think people like to popularize a suicide note, because they hope for closure or explanations. That helps take the pressure off a little bit for me. Like, it doesn't have to be good, because people normally don't leave any message at all.

I hope your note isn't too much trouble to draft.