Are u a vulnerable narcissist?

[couldntthinkofaname]

take the test:

short:

http://academics.wellesley.edu/Psychology/Cheek/sensitive.html


long:

https://blogs.scientificamerican.co...issist-masquerading-as-a-sensitive-introvert/

 

[FullFat]

I'm honestly surprised when I don't score very high on these. If it makes you feel better though, "vulnerable narcissism" is a controversial concept. The research psychologists I knew in grad school just considered it to be a reinvention of neuroticism - basically, at the heart of most mental illness is self hatred and a fragile ego, so a "vulnerable narcissist" doesn't have much more to be ashamed about than any other run-of-the-mill depressed person.

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

I'm honestly surprised when I don't score very high on these. If it makes you feel better though, "vulnerable narcissism" is a controversial concept. The research psychologists I knew in grad school just considered it to be a reinvention of neuroticism - basically, at the heart of most mental illness is self hatred and a fragile ego, so a "vulnerable narcissist" doesn't have much more to be ashamed about than any other run-of-the-mill depressed person.

is there any way to become less neurotic? not that it matters much at this point amymore..

im basically neurotic since im 9....and it got worse over age

and in this test i was very close to the maximum number aswell

 

[FullFat]

is there any way to become less neurotic? not that it matters much at this point amymore..

im basically neurotic since im 9....and it got worse over age

and in this test i was very close to the maximum number aswell

If there is a consistently good way, I don't know it, and neither do the psychologists, unfortunately. Most of the interventions they suggest like diet, exercise, and CBT gratitude journals and shit only seem to fix moderate depression. Get a clinical psychologist tipsy enough or go to the right, reformist uni department and they'll admit that they really don't know what the fuck they are doing. The drugs are 75% and upwards
placebo, and the new "evidence based" CBT is just as effective as loony toons Freudian psychoanalysis.

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

better never get depressed, neurotic or mentally ill or sick in general

medical doctors are the most useless persons ive ever met

 

[Mr2004]

Yes they are. I've always thought I had a strange form of reverse narcissism or something. I mentioned it plenty but it was never taken seriously, just seen as another symptom of what they thought I had instead because they know best. Arrogant twats

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

i have the feeling modern doctors cant cure an illness anymore they only can treat it

 

[Mr2004]

That's what pills are for

 

[Tiburcio]

I don't even need to do the test. I know the results.

I'm a narcussist piece of trash and treat others like if I always was right. I spit on myself.

 

[typx]

I know I am a narc. But now I'm collapsed.

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

I know I am a narc. But now I'm collapsed.

same. i always felt superior to others even though i tried to show it openly and now look where i am now

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

i feel misunderstood

 

[Amy Ulrich]

The most common way to reference this kind of human is to say "covert narcissistic". Even though they're right by saying "covert" isnt really a good word at all, it is what the terms has become to be known. It is indeed possible to end your covert narcissism and become a non-narcissist, which means you will be happier in your life and so will the people closest to you who you care about sometimes. However, to do so it does take a lot of work. You can do so some things slowly at first. Please, try not to abandon your Partner if they both care about you and Know you... there may be only one human you ever meet in your life who can truly Love you, because the vast VAST majority usually just denigrate and hate their covert narcissist partner once they know what it is. But there ARE people who actually Love and care for you anyway and I am one of them so please do not throw that human away or make them kill themselves!! Of course you personally may not have met that one, but if there is someone who has told you that you are the covert narcissistic and then after some time you agreed, and if that human still tries to take care of you then that is the one like me. That one individual human might be the only one who can ever take care of you back so please try not to abandon them. Because when I go into support groups for victims of covert narcissists, they all say only hostile things about their partners or ex partners or about covert narcissists in general. I constantly have to ask for support and ask for people to make real communications. However, people like me do exost so if you have one please minimalize how mich you destroy them, mainly by not trying to leave and abandon them all the time. We will be hurt when you do hurt to us and need support, but we DO care about you even after knowing all what's in your mind including anger and narcissism. And it's also possible that we may be the only ones who can convince you of what you need to do for the cure.

As for the cure... Yes. It is there. But it does take the work and the effort. In the end,when you're ready, eventually, you may have to remember that one thing you "don't remember", the real one, not a fake one, and with the support of someone who will take care of you and be there for you correctly like someone wasn't there the first time. It might me a partner or friend who is like me and can support you, or it might be a therapist. I am opposed to psychiatry but in the case of covert narcissists it may be possible IF you are lucky enough to find a real and decent therapist and if you don't have someone in a personal relationship who is better for this. That is the last step when you feel ready. Until then, there is meditation and DBT. You can do these by yourself. Although it's possible to cure, it requires to face many scary things and to be committed. Most covert narcisists run away from it and do not go on to make the cure. But, if you get there, you get the best reward. Not being tortured anymore. Having people who truly care for you and not being worried that they secretly hate you. Understanding how other people in relationships interact securely and never feel hatred for each other and being able to do that with someone yourself. Not having nightmares which affect you personally. Not fighting with people so much and not feeling harassed or ignored.

There is one recovered covert narcissistic on YouTube but I couldn't find him again. There is a Facebook group owned by a blogger called Lucky Otter for narcissists. In that group are covert narcissists, people who care about covert narcissists, and even overt narcissists, who want the narcissist to get better. Another place where people talk in a better way is psychforums.com . In the narcissistic sections there you may also find something helpful.

However, you will find people saying it is impossible to cure, but it isn't. It's just that most covert narcissists are too scared to do it... or they let a random thought interfere with the whole entire thing and change everything.

That one time when you told someone you care about of how you know what you have done to them, and you've also been close to that person for many years and they don't leave you... Kelp on telling them. The vulnerable feelings though and not the hatred ones. They know about the hatred ones but telling them is hurtful. But the vulnerable ones are harder for you to tell but if you have really been around this other human so long and especially if they even specifically know you are covert narcissist... in that case it means they will support you in the vulnerable ones, and the more often you're able to tell someone truth fully, the more likely you will be able to get to the cure in the end. The whole entire condition is caused by some asshole pretending that what you feel and think and not really what you feel and think, besides "that one thing you don't remember, the biggest one", so when you are able to tell someone honestly and they listen, that could give you the motivation to do the work that's needed to get the rest of it and "become human".

Of course, you can kill yourself if you want to. But if you don't kill yourself, or if you'd like to try something else first, then you will know, that it can be possible... If you are one of the ones who can keep that motivation long enough.

Another carrier to your mind... it does not happen quickly. When you see after a couple of months that there are still fights and you are still being stressed and annoyed and you are still hurting people you care about. That doesn't mean you should give up on the work if you're still alive. Keep doing the things that are helpful and then see how it is after a year. You will see something which is a small or moderate improvement. Notice that, and keep going... If you quit, then you wont be able to "become fully human" in the end.

If you can find Lucky Otter's group, and if you are interested in trying to improve on your covert narcissism, then you should join it... And if you find it, please, send it to me too. It was linked somewhere on her blog...

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

@Amy Ulrich

there is no cure for neuroticism and covert narcissism..just bitterness

 

[LastLeg]

take the test:

short:

http://academics.wellesley.edu/Psychology/Cheek/sensitive.html


long:

https://blogs.scientificamerican.co...issist-masquerading-as-a-sensitive-introvert/

Yes I am

 

[Dani Paradox]

Narcissism is a gift. Every gift has it's downsides. Pros and cons. You can heal yourself of the negative sides of narcissism. It's called LSD, psilocybin, mescaline, other psychedelics and self-exploration. One must take the journey out and in <3 <3 <3

 

[Amy Ulrich]

Narcissism is a gift. Every gift has it's downsides. Pros and cons. You can heal yourself of the negative sides of narcissism. It's called LSD, psilocybin, mescaline, other psychedelics and self-exploration. One must take the journey out and in <3 <3 <3

..Have you done this yourself and are you a covert narcissist specifically? What is the negative side that is cured and what is the positive side which has remained? And do the people who wanted to be around you before you did this, and who also are not stupid opposed to drugs because they like police, do they agree with you also saying you are better...?

 

[Dani Paradox]

..Have you done this yourself and are you a covert narcissist specifically? What is the negative side that is cured and what is the positive side which has remained? And do the people who wanted to be around you before you did this, and who also are not stupid opposed to drugs because they like police, do they agree with you also saying you are better...?

My story is a long and complicated one. I have been alone for 7 years which greatly contributed to my growth, but I am no longer in contact with anyone who I was back then. My growth took place over many years. I suppose I would be classified as a covert narcissist. I am definitely a narcissist one way or another. I feel just about all of the symptoms are paradoxically both a curse and a blessing. It all depends on where you are in your spiritual/mental/emotional development. There's a lot that goes into it. I could write a book. But, for example..."lack of empathy" is very vague. There are different types of empathy. Narcissists typically have a lack of cognitive empathy, while HEIGHTENED emotional empathy (an empath). A "normal person" has equal amounts of both. Cognitive empathy is a skill that can be developed over time. Being an empath is a gift. There's a lot that goes into it. This is just pone "symptom." At the end of the day, it's all dependent on your relationship with yourself, and your own ability to really LOOK at yourself with a desire to grow. Narcissists are very misunderstood. I often feel funny talking about it or even mentioning the subject because the word carries such a negative connotation. Yes, a lot of narcissists are asshole........but some of the best friends I've ever had in my whole life were also narcissists.....and I am one myself....and I am far from an asshole. People generalize too much and lump everyone into a single category...