Are there days where you don't want to ctb?

[yaya]

Honestly, I fear the times when I don't want to ctb/want to find a reason to stay and keep on fighting for happiness. It all seems so pointless, like it wasn't meant for me. Whenever I have a little bit of hope, I also get depressed because it scares me that I won't be able to go through with ctb, which, realistically, will probably be the only way I can stop feeling so awful.

 

[yaya]

my mood swing change throughout the day. Mornings and daytime are especially tough for me... at nights I usually feel better and think I can trudge through

I can really relate to this as well.. Mornings/day is really tough, but somehow night time makes me feel a little more at ease. I wonder why that is?

 

[NotWorthLiving]

I have moments where I find a little bit of serenity but it soon fades back into wanting to ctb

 

[Ayeitsalaska]

I want to die somedays. Other days I want to live. Tonight I wanted to die so badly for a few hours researched extensively a method. I am not very good at reading so it was hard for me to understand.

 

[Ayeitsalaska]

sometimes I think meditation would cure me of my suicidal thoughts. theyre so chronic. im not sure if i can ever get better

 

[seekingoblivion]

I think about suicide every single day but the urge to do it is much weaker on some days and much stronger on others. Sometimes the urge isn't even there but I will definitely think about suicide.