Venting Anyone else think they're an assigned loser at birth?

[prone2fury]

Is it possible to be born damned to become a loser?

When I drive, someone else will tailgate me and speed around. When I talk about my hobbies, someone else talks louder and cuts me off. When I play video games, I either get carried or shit on by someone better. When I try roleplaying, I fail because I'm not in an existing clique. When I went to college, I was always alone and ALMOST every other person was with friends collectively enjoying the experience of life. When I go shopping, I fearfully dodge aisles that have people in them and only browse the unpopulated ones. When I go to family functions nobody talks to me because they know I have nothing to talk about.

How can one person suck so much? Could this have been avoided if I had gotten a job, not transitioned, and built stronger work ethic? I don't know if it was all my fault or if I never could've been a main character in my life. I'd like to CTB, but I worry that would be even more embarrassing and shameful to me. The last pathetic move I ever make.

I don't know, I'm mainly asking so I know whether to blame myself or not. Anyone with similar thoughts?

 

[Nightfoot]

Don't blame yourself. There are a lot of jerks in the world who can make reaching out to others more difficult as a result.

 

[EternalShore]

I'm really sorry to hear that you feel like that~ :( I must say tho that in a few of your first examples like tailgating and talking over you, that's just people being jerks and cruel~ >_< tbh, almost all of it is~ :/ additionally, a lot of the stuff that you described happens to me all the time too~ :((( Don't let it make you feel like a loser tho~ Realize that people suck and are very bad lots~ :( They just think of themselves, hence, why they talk over you, speed around you, exclude you, etc.~ :( hopefully, we can both find someone irl that can truly appreciate us someday~ >_< whether it be from here or somewhere else~ and do try your best to reach out to others when you can irl~ :) not saying I've ever been successful at it, and I still dodge crowds, but it's better to try and fail than never try at all~ :) I wish you the best~ ^_^ regardless of how far the world brings you down! :(

 

[Pale_Rider]

I avoid the populated aisles also. That clicked with me. Sometimes it's sure feels like I won the wrong lottery for sure.

 

[bankai]

Actually, yes. But not because of luck. Well, actually, luck does play a part. But not because you're cursed or something. It's just genetics. I've seen siblings where 1 is far better looking, more intelligent, athletic, etc. So just your genetics at birth, or rather the combination of DNA at your birth, will play a major role. How that stuff combines to give you your attributes is completely left to chance. And that will determine how successful you are in life I suppose.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think we're born with certain genetic predispositions for things- possibly shyness for one. But I think a lot of the way we act as adults is established in childhood. So- you like me were maybe taught to let others go first? To be polite and not try to hog the conversation? What maybe was intended as an attempt to make you into a well mannered person may just be taken advantage of as a sign of weakness in this world by people who were taught to take all they can get. People with a more inflammed sense of importance.

I wouldn't say being quiet or shy makes you a loser either. Although, there are always one or two children in the class who seem to get shunned by others. I wasn't exactly one of the popular kids either. I'm not entirely sure why it happens. Maybe we don't share the same interests as them, or we're not good at the 'cool' subjects they admire. Maybe it's just that their parents are friends so, they get more time to socialise with one another.

I think we need to find our own 'tribe' in life. It may not be the people we work or study with. I think people can behave aggressively in busy public areas too. That's just people being arseholes though. Nothing to do with you. I doubt they only tail gated you that day. But, those types of people absolutely will walk all over others if they can.

 

[klantedklaw]

Every facet of your personality, temperament, intellect is usually a direct or indirect downstream effect of your neurophysiology. The concentrations, sensitivity and quantities of neurotransmitters and your overall gene expression are decided at birth.

"Loser" is mostly a social construct though, conforming to this construct, or caring what other people think about you shouldn't be a predictor of how valuable you are as a person. All that matters is how happy and fulfilled you are with your life.

Even though we're social animals, and rely on society for validation its important to realize that different groups of people will validate you differently. On places like SASU no one will think you're a loser, people will think the opposite - they commend you for being an authentic person. Don't blame yourself for the way others validate or label you, it's their fault for being shallow minded and having a confined scope of understanding and appreciating others.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I was born to be a loser but with a small chance to succeed if I could figure it out. I couldn't, which makes me that much more so of a loser, someone who had a chance and blew it. If it's any consolation, a lot of people feel much the same as you.

 

[-Link-]

Is it possible to be born damned to become a loser?

- You got your driver's license at some point and are making use of it.
- You open up to others about your hobbies and interests.
- You keep with video games even when you're being criticized.
- You engage in roleplaying despite feeling socially limited.
- You persevered through college.
- You do your own thing in shops instead of just moving with the herd.
- You attend family functions despite feeling on the outside.
- You had the strength to transition.

I'm... not quite sure that you're living up to this whole "loser" thing, but that's just my own read on it~

 

[dead dav]

I can relate to the loser bit but I find some kind of inner strength and there are a lot of idiots in this world ie the tailgater who thinks he's a really good driver until the 10 ton lorry stops suddenly in front of him

 

[Ligottian]

Way back in the day when sailors and convicts were the main market for tattoos, the was a popular one called Born To Lose.