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puppyboy

puppyboy

nblm || bpd+did
Apr 9, 2026
76
i'm just curious if anyone else on here has a problem with alcohol/drugs. i've been struggling with substances since i was a teen lol ive tried everything i could get my hands on, i mainly like pills/smoking weed.. i don't use every day but i do use pretty regularly. been taking adderall more frequently, but xanax is kinda the love of my life rn …

i never thought i'd become dependent on anything tbh, but my life is so shit, it feels like the only thing i can turn to. i cannot imagine a life where im sober lmao.
 
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Kokonoe

Kokonoe

Worthless, Broken Doll
Apr 20, 2023
129
yes. admittedly not majorly. the drug i abused wasn't that harmful so it feels hard to say i abused substances even though i guess it's technically true. but i do still struggle to stop myself sometimes. and lately it feels like the only way to get through the day is abusing some sort of substance all the time. alcohol, weed, prescription drugs, whatever i have all at once. i feel like i'm at the top of a slippery slope with it. but i don't know if i even really care anymore.
 
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bluupup

bluupup

he/him
Jun 7, 2026
34
i'm just curious if anyone else on here has a problem with alcohol/drugs. i've been struggling with substances since i was a teen lol ive tried everything i could get my hands on, i mainly like pills/smoking weed.. i don't use every day but i do use pretty regularly. been taking adderall more frequently, but xanax is kinda the love of my life rn …

i never thought i'd become dependent on anything tbh, but my life is so shit, it feels like the only thing i can turn to. i cannot imagine a life where im sober lmao.
TLDR for my message: I used to do harder drugs and now I'm sober and I get u <3
when I was a freshman, I took 2 xans and I felt like nothing special happened, it really just made me not shake my leg. also, yeah, I get your issues man. I have them too. right now I'm California sober, sadly. I just have a crazy vape addiction, I smoke cigars and cigarettes, and I drink. back in the day though, I was on 90mg of oxycodone in algebra, haha. it was bad, I actually punched someone in the face because they told me to go sober. I quit finally, but at this current moment of my life, I would never turn down drugs if I got offered them. I'd do anything right now. I understand you and you're not alone.
 
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gardenhouse

Arcanist
Mar 26, 2026
415
Because of tinnitus which is loud and debilitating, I can't sleep, i rely on benzo to sleep which sucks because unnatural sleep-just makes you black out, you don't feel refreshed when you wake up and you don't dream, you just black out, i wish nembutal barbiturate as sleeping pill was still around
 
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puppyboy

puppyboy

nblm || bpd+did
Apr 9, 2026
76
TLDR for my message: I used to do harder drugs and now I'm sober and I get u <3
when I was a freshman, I took 2 xans and I felt like nothing special happened, it really just made me not shake my leg. also, yeah, I get your issues man. I have them too. right now I'm California sober, sadly. I just have a crazy vape addiction, I smoke cigars and cigarettes, and I drink. back in the day though, I was on 90mg of oxycodone in algebra, haha. it was bad, I actually punched someone in the face because they told me to go sober. I quit finally, but at this current moment of my life, I would never turn down drugs if I got offered them. I'd do anything right now. I understand you and you're not alone.
lol yeahh i feel you, thank you man, it's so hard for me to imagine my life completely sober from anything. ive lost a couple of friends cuz of it. admittedly i dont really drink bc my body just rejects it every time, but i will literally pop any pill in sight 😭 for me i really like xanax/benzos because it feels like i'm skipping time fr, i take waay too much of it whenever i need time to pass faster or my anxiety is getting to me
 
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boilingfishcakes

boilingfishcakes

맛있는 오뎅!
Jun 14, 2026
21
i really like xanax/benzos because it feels like i'm skipping time fr
Same! Xanax just keeps me from thinking. When I lived in Korea it was stupid easy and cheap to get, but now that I am back in the states I just went back to weed. Keeps me from thinking or feeling too much.
 
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puppyboy

puppyboy

nblm || bpd+did
Apr 9, 2026
76
Same! Xanax just keeps me from thinking. When I lived in Korea it was stupid easy and cheap to get, but now that I am back in the states I just went back to weed. Keeps me from thinking or feeling too much.
🫂 its just so unfortunate we have to do these things just to silence our minds </3
 
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bluupup

bluupup

he/him
Jun 7, 2026
34
lol yeahh i feel you, thank you man, it's so hard for me to imagine my life completely sober from anything. ive lost a couple of friends cuz of it. admittedly i dont really drink bc my body just rejects it every time, but i will literally pop any pill in sight 😭 for me i really like xanax/benzos because it feels like i'm skipping time fr, i take waay too much of it whenever i need time to pass faster or my anxiety is getting to me
that's real ngl, I'm never going fully sober and I am not ashamed. vaping is honestly an ok thing to me, I'll be vaping at 40 years old lol. I hate benzos bruh they don't do anything to me. I think I might just need a Xanax prescription for its actual purpose 😭
 
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T

thelostautistic

Wizard
Jul 31, 2025
604
I've had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol since 2021. I used to drink and then put myself in dangerous situations very often. I don't risk take anymore but the drinking is still a bit of an issue. I could go long periods of time without it and then go back to drinking frequently when my mental health got worse. It was a cycle for years. I spent almost every day from last summer up until March or April this year drinking each evening. I literally craved alcohol everyday and relied on it. I felt so gross and put on quite a bit of weight from all this. I haven't cut it out completely but I'm not drinking daily right now which is good. My problem is that alcohol makes me feel less autistic and I love that. It's a temporary escape from that hell.
 
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B

Badatlove

Member
Dec 4, 2019
28
I am a big time addict with bpd so its a killing combo.
I am clean of weed now a month. Only quit because I can't afford it anymore.

I am still addicted to kratom and lie in NA about it I love kratom too much. Doctors won't prescribe me anything and I dont like anti depressants. I need something to self medicate if doctors won't help me and I try it all the time but I cant stay sober..

I quit alcohol it hurts my body too much.
For stimulants I feel to sad it makes me too paranoid.
I also still smoke sigarettes
 
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C

carfemtanyl

Student
Nov 18, 2025
162
yes, mainly opioids like fent and also benzos to numb myself so I can function
 
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