Anyone else not able to self harm anymore?

[lan11]

I've sh'd in some sort of way since I was a child but stopped a few years ago when coincidentally I'd been put on a medication which has studies that it reduces self harm/suicidal ideation.

I've had the urge to do it lately so I tried cutting myself and I just couldn't do it. I got the blade and tried to slice my skin and I just couldn't put the pressure on it. It's so weird - I used to cut to the point of needing stitches and both my arms are littered in scars but for some reason I just couldn't do it now.

Now I feel like shit because I just wanted to express physically how I mentally feel and I couldn't even do that. Can't kill myself properly and can't self harm now.

I don't know if it is the medication or just getting a bit older (frontal lobe developing and all that).

Has anyone else struggled to self harm, even when they wanted to?

 

[Life]

It's always very painful for me to do it, mentally, I just do it because I deserve it lol.

 

[lan11]

It's always very painful for me to do it, mentally, I just do it because I deserve it

I know what you mean. I still feel like I deserve it but maybe my heart's just not in it.

 

[Life]

I know what you mean. I still feel like I deserve it but maybe my heart's just not in it.

I would never promote it to anyone obviously. If you're scared of doing it it's a good thing you still have some humanity in you, ya know?