Discussion Anyone else in their 30s and feeling like their life has been wasted with no way out?

[ringo99]

I'm in what's essentially a dead end tech job, no motivation to look for another despite getting my masters' in management last year and zero interest in ever getting married or even starting a relationship. My life's in a slow death spiral that's sure to end in poverty and homelessness

 

[antony]

Similar. No hope for nothing by now.

 

[CantDoIt]

Yeah. Didn't take college or my health seriously. Crap genetics and look older than my age thanks to that + poor lifestyle choices. Mental illnesses since 15. Burnout after years of working harder than I should have had to nearly every waking moment of the day. Lost my apartment and a bunch of my belongings. I'm just inferior in every way it's like the universe hates me.

 

[TAW122]

I'm in my 30's and I do see CTB being a realistic outcome for me, I pretty much already made my decision in my 20's and in my 30's it is no different. It is just a matter of time and circumstance before I finally punch my bus ticket and whenever I do I am going to make sure I'm 100% ready before I do so because I don't want to fall off the bus and get stranded or injured without another chance to get on a future bus.

 

[Ironborn]

Most jobs are kinda dead end now unless you are in the top percentile of folk.
Getting anywhere within a company requires a disgusting amount of backstabbing and brown-nosing to move up the ranks.
I'm pretty sure the higher up in a company someone is the lower their IQ tends to be, at least in my experience haha.

 

[imsotired35]

nearly in my 30's and yeah. I feel like I will cbt before I hit 30 because of this

 

[GlassAlwaysEmpty]

I'm in my early 30s and i've lost all fight I had.
At least in my teens and 20s I still had the mental energy to try and turn things around, even though I didn't succeed.
Now I'm so mentally tired I have zero hope or fight left in me.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

I'd love to start a relationship. Unfortunately no one else feels the same way.

I think it's ok to be in a dead end job. If it's that bad couldn't just out the minimum amount of effort in?

 

[BlendedHeart]

36. Yeah, the "best" years of life are gone. If those sucked, can't imagine what will come next. Don't wanna know either. I should've left at 30, all of this is unnecessary extra time.

 

[F@#$]

Just wait it gets worse.

 

[NovemberSin]

Yeah, made a lot of bad decisions in my early 20s that basically ruined my life. In my 30s now and I've lost hope of things getting any better.

 

[Ligottian]

I'm 64 and I feel my life has been wasted. I had some years of hope. Looking forward to a possible happy life. Then it all went down the drain.

 

[KillingPain267]

 

[charcoalcat]

Yes. In my late 30s and am harshly rejected by society. Tried my best to flourish but failure always find its way to me. Either I'm really unlucky or I'm really stupid. I'm not even depressive. Just jaded beyond belief. FML

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'm 30 years old. Almost 31 in about three months. I've wasted this whole year so far writhing in limerence and frustration as well as indecisiveness over CTB. My job is worth way less than my degree but even though I'm always at risk of having a panic attack I'm just too tired to find a better one. I can't even bother to get promoted either because from what I can tell, the supervisor and manager positions are way harder in my job than just being a regular merchandise stocker like I am. At least the benefits are nice.

I've wasted not just my 30s, but my entire life never having been in a romantic relationship of any kind. My lack of experience has been a notable red flag to some women before and I don't blame them. The older I get while staying this alone the more impossible it is for me to ever get such a basic fundamental requirement for being a human.

 

[JagJones8]

Yeah. I'm 39 and the woman I was married to for a decade and loved and had 3 children with left me for another man earlier this year. I am broken. I gave the best years of my life to her and our family and now she's gone. I'm too old to find someone at this point. Even if I do I will never trust again and it won't be long before she realizes I have problems and leaves me for another man too. Fuck life. I refuse to play the game and live on an earth where a woman can leave her marriage for another man, lie about him being "abusive", get him arrested, take his kids and get away Scot free. I don't know when or how but I'm not doing this anymore

 

[Invisible23]

I'm 37 with many health issues and no real family, in a dead end job and a failing marriage. I've wasted my entire life letting my traumas control me and ultimately destroying my marriage. Starting over at this age is just not in the cards for me.

 

[LostLily]

same and they all lied and said it gets better.

 

[milkcarton]

Most jobs are kinda dead end now unless you are in the top percentile of folk.
Getting anywhere within a company requires a disgusting amount of backstabbing and brown-nosing to move up the ranks.
I'm pretty sure the higher up in a company someone is the lower their IQ tends to be, at least in my experience haha.

This. Very much this. I know I am generalising, there are still places where skills matter but many work places are so large that no one knows what any one does and to get further you have to like you said. And if you hate pretending, it doesn't matter how well you do your tasks if you do not suck up to the higher-ups that's it. And it's not just because still a large part of managers (like humans in general) like being told they are right, but they might not even actually know what anyone does, so they will praise the one they do know.

I think it's ok to be in a dead end job. If it's that bad couldn't just out the minimum amount of effort in?

The problem with this is that work takes such a large part of your life that if it is not enjoyable at all, you will be miserable no matter how little effort you put in.

I'm in my 40s and no it hasn't got better, quite the opposite. When you are growing-up, you are told that if you just study, get a a job, life will be great and you are happy etc. Done all that, have a textbook life yet here we are.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

Yeah. I'm 39 and the woman I was married to for a decade and loved and had 3 children with left me for another man earlier this year. I am broken. I gave the best years of my life to her and our family and now she's gone. I'm too old to find someone at this point. Even if I do I will never trust again and it won't be long before she realizes I have problems and leaves me for another man too. Fuck life. I refuse to play the game and live on an earth where a woman can leave her marriage for another man, lie about him being "abusive", get him arrested, take his kids and get away Scot free. I don't know when or how but I'm not doing this anymore

39 definitely isn't too old in terms of age, but of course the trauma of what she did too you could have aged and destroyed your spirit.

Children desperately need both their parents, hopefully they'll discover the truth eventually. It usually comes out one day.

The problem with this is that work takes such a large part of your life that if it is not enjoyable at all, you will be miserable no matter how little effort you put in.

I understand, I hope you have a friend or two at work or at least colleagues you can tolerate. I'm chronically ill and struggle in social situations, I'd actually love to have a job because at least I'd have people to talk to. I have zero friends, no partner and I'm hopelessly lonely

 

[divinemistress36]

36. Yeah, the "best" years of life are gone. If those sucked, can't imagine what will come next. Don't wanna know either. I should've left at 30, all of this is unnecessary extra time.

I'm 36 to and feel I should have left at 30 to
30s suck ass

 

[willow115]

Yes, but I'm already umeployed, in poverty, and nearing homelessness. Life is brutal.

 

[blacksand]

29 and I am jobless living with mom. 5 years ago I had a paid internship, an apartment, a career path ahead. The COVID stole it all and I never got back on my feet.

 

[noname37]

I'm only 23 and I've felt hopeless for most of my life, I think shit really hit the fan for me when I turned 19 though
Now I'm at the lowest point in my life, and well, doing the act is the only thing that gives me happiness

 

[kunikuzushi]

Yeah I can't be a NEET forever. Did nothing with my 20s and it's only getting worse. I can't imagine how much worse the future will be. Aging, health problems. No energy to take care of myself or work.

 

[Fritz]

Just turned 60 and have no words of wisdom for you. Waiting for my parents to die so I can close that chapter, then start laying plans to CTB. There's nothing in this life that I would want to repeat, except a large order of chicken wings with (ironically) suicide sauce