Anyone else holding on because of their parents?

[Spider Lilies]

Yes, absolutely. After my mom passed I knew I just couldn't leave my dad alone

 

[Abandoned Phantom]

There are like 3 people that I'm hangin on for. My mom, my sister and my best friend. There are others I care about sure, but those three are the big ones. I don't know how my mom is going to recover. Her life is so hard already. I fear the mental anguish will be too much to bear.

 

[Jan1193]

When my mom was alive, there where so much times that I wanted to die, but never fall in suicidal ideation really as now. She passed away since almost three years ago, and I had a few of good times when I recover and starter to put my sh*t together and try to keep on, but I'm in a relapse and wanting to die or CBT again. My biological father keeps alive, but he cares a f*k to contact me. I'm not waiting to CBT for him, in fact I would want to see him suffering because I'm going to die or in front of my coffin, old and weak

 

[Hiro Uchiha]

I used to cling to life for my mom. She has ocd/bpd. I stayed and fought for her to escape my abusive father because I see all her suffering; but she never saw mine. She doesn't believe I'm suffering. She doesn't see me as a victim.

I have completely accepted this fact and that's one less reason to stay.

 

[AltF4Mylife]

Yes, holding on for my parents

 

[Tiny Little Tree]

My mother. She has gone through so much for me, since childbirth even where she did not wake up for days I think. What plays in my head clear as day, not something I've ever seen before, just her screaming "why" in agony.

It is... very much the opposite with my father... He has always been short tempered and controlling. He was also violent, for the most part that is in the past.

 

[WeDontKnowTheFuture]

yes, i'm holding on for them, i have a weird medical condition wich is unknow by medicine and makes my life extremely difficult to go trough. I think about suicide most of the time because i do not want to live with that and see no point in these circumstance. In the other hand, my death would devastate my family and so i would like to stay for them to prevent the consequences of my suicide, they are close to 60 so there is still a big amount of time to wait before finally go. Some time i think i should cbt despite that cause it is atrocious to live in my circumstance and others time i tell to myself that i will hold on despite the agony because of them. It depends. In a perfect world i would have the choice to live without my medical condition or leave but unfortunately life can be merciless and so i remain.

 

[ChildrensITV]

Honestly I don't care how my family ends up after I die, the only thing keeping me here is my slight fear.

I was scrolling, looking for a reply that resonated.

It used to be that I didn't want my mother to have to be alone and have the heartache of burying her child. But over the years, she has added to why I want to die. She can be a horrible, abusive, narcissistic bitch. She is always in a bad mood. Always takes it out on me. Treats me like a burden unless she wants me to help her. I used to write suicide-notes so that if I were to CTB, she would have some comfort. Lately, I don't think she deserves one. More and more, I think she deserves a dead son.

So what is mostly holding me back is:

- no foolproof way of doing it, and even with my SN, it won't be pleasant.
- some residual fear of God and what will happen after. I don't believe in hell, but it is still an unknown.
- there is more "honour" in dying naturally. Nobody can call u a coward. You don't need to "pick a right time".

 

[SchizoGymnast]

I'm the caregiver, emergency contact, etc for both my mother and father. I promised them I would always be there. After they're gone, I don't fuckin know.

 

[TheHolySword]

Every day I'm here, is for them. I cannot bear the thought of breaking their hearts.

 

[omega706]

Nah, if anything they are a big reason I want to go.

 

[SilentEclipse]

maybe once. Right now there's nothing holding me back. As soon as the opportunity presents itself, I'll go.
I'm just asking for a little company in these last moments.