
Already_dead
No alarms and no surprises
- May 16, 2025
- 10
I've not been suicidal my whole life, only about 5 years or so, but I already feel I'm in too deep to try to recover.
I've spent the past five years going between recovery and struggle, most of which I spent thinking/making plans to kill myself. After losing my friends, interests, and religion, suicide seems to be the key defing element of my identity. Maybe that sounds dramatic but that's how it feels. I just have no motivation left to turn my life around, even if I could. I would have no desire to keep living even if i suddenly became successful. My mindset is just so used to wanting to die, it doesn't want to change. I feel stuck.
Any thoughts?
I've spent the past five years going between recovery and struggle, most of which I spent thinking/making plans to kill myself. After losing my friends, interests, and religion, suicide seems to be the key defing element of my identity. Maybe that sounds dramatic but that's how it feels. I just have no motivation left to turn my life around, even if I could. I would have no desire to keep living even if i suddenly became successful. My mindset is just so used to wanting to die, it doesn't want to change. I feel stuck.
Any thoughts?