Anyone else feel as if they’re destined for suicide?

[interna]

I know I am :)

 

[PanaxMan]

I have this strange feeling, that no matter what I'm just gonna end up killing myself. No matter how much my life or mental state improves, it will somehow eventually lead to suicide. Because of my bpd I will never truly get better. There is hope that I could learn how to deal with my symptoms well enough and possibly take medication so I would be stable enough to not literally kill myself. But no matter what the baseline of my mind which is my bpd will always be there. I'm certain that at some point, whether it be anytime soon or in a matter of years. My bpd will end up driving me to my grave. I'm only 18 and it has almost killed me a countless amount of times already. So it really feels like it's only a matter of time before it inevitably happens.

Had a dream since I was 7 I fell off of a cliff. No context besides the day before experiencing despair. So I think I did. Not like growing up was the easiest thing as my social life was snatched from me

 

[SDB]

Yes

 

[FailedNav]

Absolutely. I've always figured that one of two things would happen. A single negative event (job loss, bankruptcy, hurting / killing someone) would happen. Or I would eventually just become exhausted waiting for one of those things to happen.

 

[lalaloopsie]

I think that because of BPD I'm going to end up dead no matter what, it's my destiny, I was born for suicide. In the future, I only see myself dying by suicide, no other way, and the times are coming, I believe. I have faith in God, but I think he didn't create me for something here on earth.

 

[Shadowsight]

Definitely. I can't imagine my life ending any other way at this point. Even during my happier moments, I find myself thinking "this is all well and good, but in the end it's not gonna matter bc I'm still gonna kill myself". Each day just feels like one step closer for me.

 

[Aflame5926]

yep wanted to die when i was 5. how exactly and why? idk.
but it just feel almost like natural to go early

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I think that because of BPD I'm going to end up dead no matter what, it's my destiny, I was born for suicide. In the future, I only see myself dying by suicide, no other way, and the times are coming, I believe. I have faith in God, but I think he didn't create me for something here on earth.

Me too dude. If you wanna talk about it I'm available.