Anyone else ctb due to physical illness or accident that left you fked up?

[I’vehadenough]

I come across a lot of posts from people living with mental illness, but is there anyone else on here who wasn't mentally ill until something so fked up happened to you that you have no choice but to end your life?

 

[SinisterKid]

A little virus totally and completely changed my life and me as a person. The old me is dead and gone, the new me is damaged goods. Throw in a good dose of depression and yeah, it kinda fucks you up in so many ways.

 

[I’vehadenough]

A little virus totally and completely changed my life and me as a person. The old me is dead and gone, the new me is damaged goods. Throw in a good dose of depression and yeah, it kinda fucks you up in so many ways.

Yeah, that's bad. Are you able to function anymore?

 

[CFLoser]

Kind of.
I "beat" depression and had an amazing summer this year. Best I ever felt in my entire life.

Now I got IBS.

 

[SinisterKid]

On a good day, yes, on a bad day, barely. Many worse off than me though. I just plod along, doing my thing and trying to make it through each day.

 

[I’vehadenough]

On a good day, yes, on a bad day, barely. Many worse off than me though. I just plod along, doing my thing and trying to make it through each day.

Is that why you're on this site?

Kind of.
I "beat" depression and had an amazing summer this year. Best I ever felt in my entire life.

Now I got IBS.

Irrital bowel syndrome?

 

[vonvonwantpeace]

chronic disease and worst depression.

 

[I’vehadenough]

chronic disease and worst depression.

Are you able to go out and do things still?

 

[dysphoria]

Yes, I was always anxious/depressive, but capable enough to compensate for it and find enough of life enjoyable to keep going. Then I developed a chronic neurological condition which can only be treated by taking meds which destroy my coping mechanism and worsen the mental illness at the same time. If not for that, I would've been fine enough. I'm not willing to be the dissatisfied bottom of society with no personal or professional fulfilment, tormenting myself with grinding out a meagre life just so the people in the middle can feel better about themselves, fuck them all. Especially since I live in a country which treats the long-term unemployed with less respect than a dog. Nor am I going to just "get on with life" when I know the quality of life will be abysmal forever. Being nothing is better than never being able to achieve any kind of personal growth or satisfaction.

 

[Fragile]

i've always been suicidal but i was starting to beat depression over the years, i worked so hard and did so many changes to my lifestyle, started to have dreams and hope for the future once again. then a terrible conjunctive tissue disorder took over and it's only getting worse by the day.

i really wanted to live and see what i was capable of, but now that i know how bad is the future for me i see no fucking point.

 

[Smashingairwaves]

What about both? I have depression. I also have ibs, along with nerve damage from a minor surgery that didnt heal correctly. The nerve damage makes sitting and moving painful, and the medication they gave me for it makes me feel horrible. IBS is wickedly painful too.

 

[oopswronglife]

Yup

 

[I’vehadenough]

Yes, I was always anxious/depressive, but capable enough to compensate for it and find enough of life enjoyable to keep going. Then I developed a chronic neurological condition which can only be treated by taking meds which destroy my coping mechanism and worsen the mental illness at the same time. If not for that, I would've been fine enough. I'm not willing to be the dissatisfied bottom of society with no personal or professional fulfilment, tormenting myself with grinding out a meagre life just so the people in the middle can feel better about themselves, fuck them all. Especially since I live in a country which treats the long-term unemployed with less respect than a dog. Nor am I going to just "get on with life" when I know the quality of life will be abysmal forever. Being nothing is better than never being able to achieve any kind of personal growth or satisfaction.

Wow! That's exactly like my situation, except instead of an illness, my face was badly disfigured by medicine and now I have to live like a bottom feeder and people keep trying to keep me alive and lying to me on how I can still have a fulfilling life. Lol fulfilling by being made fun of all day and having zero social or love life? No thanks, would rather die w what little dignity I have left

 

[Nem]

I was doing okay until I met a fucking A-hole and got into a shit filled relationship with a shithawk. Partner was a control freak from hell and it fucked me over x10

Peace/hugs

 

[Wayfaerer]

I suffer from a very unpleasant physical illness that is only going to get worse with time. My mental health had deteriorated to rock bottom as a result, so now I get to suffer from both!

 

[CURSED again]

i empathize so much for all of you - i can barely make it through the day - when ones own body starts giving you all kinds of problems and then depression sets in as a result - it then all escalates even further - the depression causes further physical symptoms - stress does kill (only not quickly or reliably enough)

 

[epic]

I am not suicidal by nature.Despite many social and financial difficulties, suicide never even crossed my mind. I also had just started to make way out of my problems. Then a physical ailment hit me. That was it ! . I couldnt take it anymore. Now I have a 180 degree change in attitude.

 

[I’vehadenough]

I suffer from a very unpleasant physical illness that is only going to get worse with time. My mental health had deteriorated to rock bottom as a result, so now I get to suffer from both!

Are you able to leave the house?

I am not suicidal by nature.Despite many social and financial difficulties, suicide never even crossed my mind. I also had just started to make way out of my problems. Then a physical ailment hit me. That was it ! . I couldnt take it anymore. Now I have a 180 degree change in attitude.

Same w me. I can't go on in this condition. Death is my only way out

 

[woxihuanni]

I have a bunch of little damages, inherited trash and chronic stuff that is not tragic at all, just uncomfortable and sometimes embarrassing. It's always having to be careful about one thing or another, and feeling ashamed of yourself.

Nowadays when I have to deal with any of it, I think to myself, it will all rot soon and I'll be rid. Perfect.

 

[GrizzlyGrapefruit]

Yes. I was perfectly fine before reacting terribly to a prescription medication when I was 17. Mentally, I was able to make it through each day well enough for a little over a year -- believing that my body would be able to recover. After that time interval, it hit me full force what had happened to my health at such a young age and how it all could've been prevented. This is when the suicidal ideation began, but despite this, the suicidal thoughts were more of a facade that made me feel better that I didn't haaaaaave to endure the pain any longer if I didn't want to (i.e. I never took it too seriously).

This past year, however, I developed sleeping issues, and that was the death of my mental wellbeing. With this, I had reached the point where things had gotten to be too difficult, and suicide went from being a question of "if" to a question of "when".

 

[I’vehadenough]

Yes. I was perfectly fine before reacting terribly to a prescription medication when I was 17. Mentally, I was able to make it through each day well enough for a little over a year -- believing that my body would be able to recover. After that time interval, it hit me full force what had happened to my health at such a young age and how it all could've been prevented. This is when the suicidal ideation began, but despite this, the suicidal thoughts were more of a facade that made me feel better that I didn't haaaaaave to endure the pain any longer if I didn't want to (i.e. I never took it too seriously).

This past year, however, I developed sleeping issues, and that was the death of my mental wellbeing. With this, I had reached the point where things had gotten to be too difficult, and suicide went from being a question of "if" to a question of "when".

Yeah, my suicide will be from the result of prescription drug side effects too. I can't wait to end all this pain

 

[Deleted member 1768]

I come across a lot of posts from people living with mental illness, but is there anyone else on here who wasn't mentally ill until something so fked up happened to you that you have no choice but to end your life?

Many.

 

[Darkhaven]

Yep, the neurological disease that's slowly developing in my brain and draining my motor skills is also the main cause for my depression and anxiety. Because it has no cure i cannot hope for a real change in my life. That's where death comes into play, as an escape from this sad and pitiful existence of mine.

 

[k75]

I was forced to have major surgery I didn't want, and results were devastating. It can't be fixed, and I can't live with it. My depression and PTSD came after. Now I'm just a broken mess I don't recognize who lost myself.

 

[I’vehadenough]

Yep, the neurological disease that's slowly developing in my brain and draining my motor skills is also the main cause for my depression and anxiety. Because it has no cure i cannot hope for a real change in my life. That's where death comes into play, as an escape from this sad and pitiful existence of mine.

Do you qualify for assisted suicide?

I was forced to have major surgery I didn't want, and results were devastating. It can't be fixed, and I can't live with it. My depression and PTSD came after. Now I'm just a broken mess I don't recognize who lost myself.

Mine happened because of a surgery gone wrong too. I'm def going to kill myself

 

[Kim]

First: before last year I was an young healthy woman....

Last year I had back problems (before the first surgery the doc said: it''s totally simple and three days later you'll be healthy, without pain and back home - fucking lies!!!!).

I had 4 surgery's within two weeks. The doc fucked up the second one... he damaged two spinal nerves and I got an infection... it wasn't fun and two times I almost died...

Today I'm on 100 fentanyl + lots of weed. I'm never painfree.The doc ruined my life!

The diagnosis was: wheelchair. I'm glad that's not true. I can walk again - not as good as before but I can walk - and that is great.

That's my story.

 

[Jumper]

I injured myself 1.5 years ago and have a chronic painful foot condition (pain with every step, and standing is horrible), in addition to another physical issue. I already had bipolar and a history of suicide planning... but now EVERY SINGLE MOMENT is terrible (whereas before, I experienced occasional joy). I need to CTB desperately.