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Lostandlooking

In limbo
Jul 23, 2020
470
Just a bit of a rant. I was in crisis last september. Just really awful, I was really losing it. I was not coping at all. Constant panick attacks, self harming. Not eating at all and after that binge eating all the time. I basically felt I had no control over my life. It's just not possible to get the things I need to stay healthy. So much pressure that I'm not able to cope with.
Anyway, I got everything ready for ctb because I've been at this point several times before. But still a part of me reached out for help. I contacted my docter, this was very disappointing. No acknowledgment or help offered. I've contacted about... 10 different psychologists since then. Maybe more. I had 3 serious conversations to see if I could start therapy at those particular places. At the end of each they told me they couldn't help me. I talked to more people, just orientation stuff. Everybody seems to suggest a different thing. I'm looking for someone who can address trauma and has some expertise on autism. My suicidality also seems to be a problem, they think I need more intensive treatment than they are able to offer. Or they do not have access to a crisis intervention team, which they deem necessary. I've asked for advice from my insurance multiple times now. They can help me look dor suitable therapists. I currently am having some conversations with a psychologist that I already knew from a couple of years ago. But it's pretty clear that he can't offer the specific things I need. These conversations are often very frustrating and make me feel worse. I'm feeling very disengaged at the moment. I've been looking for 5 months now. Anyone else can't seem to find adequate help?

(If therapy is actually helpful or not is another question, but my point is; I can't find help anywhere) The stupid thing is, people always tell you to reach out. Talk about it, seek help. It's just such a shitshow.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,383
The stupid thing is, people always tell you to reach out. Talk about it, seek help. It's just such a shitshow.
Yeah, it really often feels like people only say to reach out for professional help because they want you out of their hair or so they can focus on their own problems instead of yours. I've heard therapists often won't even take on clients who are suicidal for fear of legal trouble or their careers looking bad. It's understandable but it also gets us no closer to getting the actual help we need...
 
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noaccount

Enlightened
Oct 26, 2019
1,099
I'm so sorry. I don't know what country you're in, but the Autism Women's Network has a wealth of info and resources and you might be able to talk to someone there: https://awnnetwork.org/about/
 
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