Discussion Anyone else alone all the time?

[katara]

Title.
I have no friends and I've been alone for years. I'm starting to feel effects of it. Idk if it's a gen z thing bc so many are anti social and leave u the second they get bored. Anybody here have a similar experience? I just hate seeing shit online about people like Luigi Mangione or serial killers, even they had friends! But why can't I? And I really that unlovable? I guess so

 

[nool]

You're not alone.

I haven't had irl friends since I was in my 2nd year of high school. I had switched to a smaller school due to anxiety and left behind my only two school friends there. At my new school, people were friendly but I never had real friends. Then I began homeschooling because I was still experiencing bad panic attacks.

From then to now, I've only had online friends. I had one who I met irl once since he lived in my city for a bit, but his boyfriend hated me so that never panned out.

Even now, I barely talk to my online friends. I reply to tweets and send tiktoks and all that but never one-on-one deep convos. My best friend lives states away and is busy with college and work, so we don't talk much.

I can go days without truly talking to anybody. I'm lonely, but I suffer from paranoid delusions that makes new friendships hard.

 

[Tobacco]

I have a history of being the last one to message people on discord and the 99% don't talk back to me again. I guess I'm just too autistic but at least I have 2 people who I message with semi regularly but nothing like having friends with whom to talk to everyday.

 

[gothbird]

I'm sick most days and it keeps me exhausted, so I barely leave my bed, let alone the house. People drifted away a long time ago, and now it's just me and one or two people who I love. Even the ones who said they cared stopped checking in once I couldn't keep up anymore.

It's strange, isn't it? You scroll online and see the worst people in the world managing to have friends, followers, people who'll stand by them no matter how awful they are and yet here we are. I don't know if it's because I'm unlovable or just unlucky, but the silence around me feels endless.

I wish I could say it gets better. Mostly it just feels heavy. Like the sickness eats at you, and the loneliness eats at what's left.

You're not the only one, though. I guess that's something. Sending you thoughts. May your journey be kind.

 

[Dejected 55]

All...the...time... I'm always alone. I unfortunately understand.

 

[shampoo sniffer]

Yeah. I've never had friends, probably due to autism and poor childhood socialisation. I used to stand in the playground by myself and create imaginary worlds in my mind to live in. My teachers never picked up on this and I wasn't diagnosed with autism until I was 18.

And now, thanks to trauma, I can never form anything past acquaintances because I'm too afraid to form real connections to people.

 

[LetMeOut67]

I haven't seen my "best friend" since 1999
The only contacts I have are with siblings and cousins and those are rare
I spend 95% of my time alone
I don't know if I even want friends , it's hard to make meaningful connections in middle age but that seems to be true for all ages nowadays
This world we've created is horrible really
I don't know what I expected from life but it probably wasn't this
I guess I'll die with so much not corrected and so much not taken advantage of , just piles of regret and untidiness but that's how it was always going to be perhaps

 

[lastsummer_yay]

You just described me. XD I used to listen to podcasts about maniacs and think, "How the hell did he even find someone with the same "interests"? I've been looking for someone like me for years!! What the hell?" Now I realize that for them, it's actually not that difficult.
Yeah. I can't stand loneliness, but at the same time, I've already gotten used to it.

 

[bankai]

I live alone, but I'm not that lonely. When I go to work, I talk to my coworkers, both men and women. I do have friends in real life, but they don't live in my city and they're spread all across the world. Among all these friends, I have only one proper childhood friend that I can trust no matter what. Of course, I still cannot discuss suicide or depression with any of them. That's what you guys are for

So I mitigate loneliness by talking online. And I do talk to people at work.We go to the cafeteria, share meals, drink tea or coffee, et cetera. That takes care of things. And again, that isn't every day. I work from home most of the time. But even when I work from home, I join teams meetings and talk to others,discuss work issues and problems and try to find solutions. So All in all, that aspect is kind of OK for me. I'm also introverted so I don't want someone hovering around me all the time either.

 

[unluckysadness]

Yes I'm isolated too (no friends, no partner, no working place anymore and family doesn't care - just my mother). I'm not interested about people anymore because nobody understand me. Anyway I'm planning to leave soon so I don't give a shit anymore

 

[knickknack81]

A lot has changed for me in the past few years, particularly the last year. The main thing being my partner of 6 years left me and now I realize how alone I am. Most of my really good friends I had over the years have either moved away or we have lost contact, nothing personal just life happens (career, family, other things move you in various directions). I Still have some local friends that I shoot the shit with when I go out but I wouldn't say we have a real closeness. Because of that, I feel my isolated (and I dont have a close family structure) I feel more alone then ever. I spend many of my days in total silence and dont talk to people. I never realized how sad that could be. It's really my motivating factor to consider CTB. I am not quite there yet but each day alone just gets harder and harder.

 

[katara]

You're not alone.

I haven't had irl friends since I was in my 2nd year of high school. I had switched to a smaller school due to anxiety and left behind my only two school friends there. At my new school, people were friendly but I never had real friends. Then I began homeschooling because I was still experiencing bad panic attacks.

From then to now, I've only had online friends. I had one who I met irl once since he lived in my city for a bit, but his boyfriend hated me so that never panned out.

Even now, I barely talk to my online friends. I reply to tweets and send tiktoks and all that but never one-on-one deep convos. My best friend lives states away and is busy with college and work, so we don't talk much.

I can go days without truly talking to anybody. I'm lonely, but I suffer from paranoid delusions that makes new friendships hard.

Hey nool sorry to hear about this. I've always been shy, so after middle school when I moved, it was basically impossible to make friends bc of the ghetto school I went to. Did you ever get anything prescribed to you? I always tried getting anti anxiety meds but because I'm in the third world shithole known as America they would not give me what I asked for, they thought they knew better than me. So I ended up never finishing school.
I have a TikTok so if you ever want to, I'll be your friend on there. It's almost impossible for me to make friends where I live bc it's a boomer area. I hate everybody here. It's lifeless and there's bugs and shit everywhere. It's hard for me to focus on anything. I'd like to leave here, but I really don't see any non lethal way as I can't drive and have no money.

 

[NonEssential]

I brushed it all off back when I was a NEET by just distracting myself with games and such. Now I go to school again and feel like a complete outcast, just like how I've always felt at school before. Nobody approaches me and says hello except sometimes a teacher. I got social anxiety so I can't really approach anyone either. I also feel like I don't want to befriend them so that's kind of a conflicting thought lol.

 

[nool]

Did you ever get anything prescribed to you?

I've been on multiple meds throughout my life. I can remember being on Prozac in my early high school years, but it did nothing for me.

I was just on Cymbalta but stopped taking it due to the price. I also prescribed Propranolol at the same time but since I stopped going to my psychiatry office I can't refill it. Cymbalta sent me into a manic episode but it generally did make me get up and do stuff. Didn't do much for my depression, just gave me energy. Can't speak on my Propranolol because it was a use-as-needed medication and I kinda kept forgetting I had it because of that lol. I think that in the times I did take it, it calmed me down. Can't remember though. Hell, the bottle is still full as fuck. 60 10mg tablets and maybe 4 are gone? I dunno I'm not counting them haha, but yeah.

I have a TikTok so if you ever want to, I'll be your friend on there.

I'd prefer to keep this account separate from my social medias. I have paranoid delusions so I try keeping more personal info about myself low here so nobody finds me. I'm sorry

 

[Night_Crew]

Title.
I have no friends and I've been alone for years. I'm starting to feel effects of it. Idk if it's a gen z thing bc so many are anti social and leave u the second they get bored. Anybody here have a similar experience? I just hate seeing shit online about people like Luigi Mangione or serial killers, even they had friends! But why can't I? And I really that unlovable? I guess so

I'm completely alone and empathise. Loneliness consumes :( I used to invest everything in one person/my girlfriend. After a sudden breakup following a decade together, I slowly lost everything. I would love to have a relationship again, but there is simply no hope when so much is wrong with me.

 

[heldbyone]

Me 24/7

 

[calebzz1]

Title.
I have no friends and I've been alone for years. I'm starting to feel effects of it. Idk if it's a gen z thing bc so many are anti social and leave u the second they get bored. Anybody here have a similar experience? I just hate seeing shit online about people like Luigi Mangione or serial killers, even they had friends! But why can't I? And I really that unlovable? I guess so

I live alone with my mom currently but plan to apply for a voucher myself to have full independence if my condition is more permanent in nature.

I have a core friend group from highschool but don't want to burden them with what's currently going on with my impairment and had to distance myself.

They want to do everything I simply can't anymore i.e. playing videogames, going to the mall etc. while I have trouble walking without an aid.

I told them as much as I could about how disabling my condition is and how I'm barely functional but working hard to get to a better state.

You are not unlovable at all and are very sweet, don't doubt yourself.

 

[katara]

I have a history of being the last one to message people on discord and the 99% don't talk back to me again. I guess I'm just too autistic but at least I have 2 people who I message with semi regularly but nothing like having friends with whom to talk to everyday.

I don't go on discord everyday but I'm open to talking sometime. I can't say I'm the most interesting person but we could always try and see what happens. You can look at my account, everything I post is the truth and how I feel. So if you relate to stuff I've said, let me know and I'll message you on there and we can try chatting. The only thing I'd say about me that might be a problem is I'm a bit boring because I have nothing ever going on.

 

[Fall_Apart]

Not only am I isolated, but every time someone tries to get too close, I disappear. I've been self-isolating since the pandemic. And you know what? I'm fine being alone. Before the pandemic, I had many friends, but now all I want to do is focus on how to die. I no longer feel the need for human contact because nothing makes sense right now.

 

[Seiba]

Same here, 99.9 percent of my hours alone. I have coworkers that I see at work but I'm not friends with them. I was pulled out of school to be homeschooled when I was younger and was very isolated as a result. I was never educated and I'm basically a middle school drop out.
My lack of friendship has carried on to adulthood, but I don't really experience loneliness. I've grown used to being alone even if I'm not happy.

 

[katara]

I'm sick most days and it keeps me exhausted, so I barely leave my bed, let alone the house. People drifted away a long time ago, and now it's just me and one or two people who I love. Even the ones who said they cared stopped checking in once I couldn't keep up anymore.

It's strange, isn't it? You scroll online and see the worst people in the world managing to have friends, followers, people who'll stand by them no matter how awful they are and yet here we are. I don't know if it's because I'm unlovable or just unlucky, but the silence around me feels endless.

I wish I could say it gets better. Mostly it just feels heavy. Like the sickness eats at you, and the loneliness eats at what's left.

You're not the only one, though. I guess that's something. Sending you thoughts. May your journey be kind.

How do you mean sick? Sometimes I wish I was able to stave myself so I could just leave home and not worry about the short time I'd be in pain for. I've had times when I barely left my bed for weeks and my mom never cared. She's the only person I have. My dad is dead. All other family are far away and they don't care. I wish I was someone, so people WOULD care.
It's ok, I know it doesn't get better. I appreciate your honesty. The mental pain definitely won't ever go away. I know I was meant to be more than this. I'm like a fish that was put into a tank and I never wanted to be here. I wanted to be swimming around in the ocean. I feel unlucky I was placed here.

 

[Eriktf]

always alone but i have this place

 

[chudeatte]

im always alone. even in the house with my family, it feels like im not even there. just wasting away in my room until I get the courage to finally ctb

 

[Manfrotto99]

Alone,and ugly. I go to the gym most days...it's all the keeps me going now. There are a couple of other people there I see most days, sometimes we say hello otherwise we dont talk. They look socially awkward and unnacetable like me. I imagine they are proberbly outcasts, alone like me too.

 

[Spite]

Pretty much. I can often go days at a time without having any meaningful conversations or any other worthwhile social interactions. Nobody at my workplace talks to me. 99% of the time, the only person I can talk to is myself.

I don't really have any family except for my mother and maternal grandparents, and I don't see them all that often. I've been through nearly my whole life without friends. I've never had a social life and I probably never will because I am incompatible with society.

True loneliness is soul-destroying.