Two things come to mind for me (this is my personal perspective, so take it with a grain of salt...)
Firstly, "therapy" in this society is a joke, at best. So, if they say something beneficial, take it for what it's worth and try to move on. These people don't care about anyone. Being called "maladaptive" in a sick society is not necessarily a bad thing.
Secondly, your mother sounds a little like my mother. Just without the physical abuse from her and her boyfriends. I had a narcissistic mother who made me feel like a burden for my whole childhood. She showed me as well. However, when I became an engineer and started making money, she softened to me a little. I cut ties with her though. She's gone now. Good riddance. So, I feel you when you mention how she is rude to you. I fell homeless after I lost my business. So, I know what it's like to have no money and have to live off of handouts and food banks. Having to ask to borrow money and can't pay it back. That sucks.
Still, this is all the outgrowth of a very sick game called 'life.' This shit is rigged against good people and those endowed with good souls. So, try to be a little less harsh on yourself. IMO, you're NOT a loser. You can't lose a rigged game. The only way you lose is continuing to play and blame yourself every time the house wins. Please try to be kinder to yourself. We're all doing the best we can.
