Afraid

[khw777]

I need to kill myself before I'm hospitalized!

 

[heylightiforgot]

Same here

 

[Jean Améry]

Understandable. However it is a fact that impulsive CTB-attempts under duress usually fail so perhaps it would be better to try to avoid hospitalization (try to appear stable, 'better' or appearing to take steps that will be seen as signs of improvement) if at all possible so there's more time to plan properly.

 

[khw777]

Same here

I haven't been taking care myself and need to pay rent today. I'm afraid my property manager is going to tip off my family, and will probably try to me hospitalized.

 

[Soul]

How can we help?
Do you want to talk?

 

[khw777]

I'm just so tired and afraid that I won't make a good impression and my siblings will want me hospitalized. I'm so weak I can barely drive to pay my rent.

 

[Soul]

You're allowed to look "under par" when you go pay your rent, aren't you? Has the property owner done anything like that before? (((Hugs)))

If you're afraid to go out, though, is there someone who could take the check to the owner for you? a neighbour? a super? (((more hugs)))

 

[khw777]

Thank you for responding, and hugs. I just mean I haven't a shower for weeks, and have not been able to sleep! I have been feeling horrible. My SA was supposed to
be delivered yesterday but UPS said they had problems so it wasn't delivered.

There is no one except me to bring the rent check. : ( and I feel so fatigued. I can barely function. Thank you for support.

 

[Hunter100]

Thank you for responding, and hugs. I just mean I haven't a shower for weeks, and have not been able to sleep! I have been feeling horrible. My SA was supposed to
be delivered yesterday but UPS said they had problems so it wasn't delivered.

There is no one except me to bring the rent check. : ( and I feel so fatigued. I can barely function. Thank you for support.

Can you call them and tell them that you're sick and they can pick it up in the mailbox?