Story 5 years on SaSu, my recovery and goodbye

[Anon7075]

In an unlikely twist of events i managed to hold on for far longer than i thought i would. Endurance, patience, commitment and succesfully coping with severe mental pain has led me to this moment. It's astonishing how even my quite severe case that consists of 5 diagnosed mental illnesses, 5+ suicide attempts and over 10 years of depression is actually possible to survive let alone make a significant recovery. Even a single year in right circumstances can provide significant recovery and relief. Although i still suffer from mental illness it's actually reached a point where i can cope without self harm, suicide or drowning myself in alcohol. Psychiatric hospitals hold a very bad reputation and for a good reason, but if there wasn't an intervention when i tried killing myself i wouldn't be here today, i would be 6 feet under. Another psychiatric hospitalization happened in October, this time voluntary, has hooked me up with a good psychiatrist and a complex medical regiment of 4 different medications that actually work. Yes, there is a lot of luck involved but patience and endurance is what helped me survive. Perhaps im entitled to say these things but it seems i was given a second chance by god, universe or a higher being. Recovery is very hard but i believe this proves it's possible. Before i say goodbye to this website i can say some parting words. Life is like a river, when we are in an inescapable situation let the stream take you to a place where there are other alternatives to suicide. In my case this stream drowned me for many years and spat me out like a dead body on some shore far, far away where i managed to find some semblance of a normal life. I am not here to tell you if you should give up or not, but at least give it a shot, it might open a new path where you find alternatives to suicide. This is it. I never say goodbye because i believe we will meet in the future or in another lifetime so goodbyes are just temporary words, but nevertheless i will say a symbolic goodbye to this website and to the people on this forum which have been wronged by life many times but i still believe they have a chance to make some kind of future for themselves and that some hope will come because a world without hope doesn't exist. A body can give up, a soul can never give up. Hope is universal, cemented into this universe of endless possibilities. I wish you all a happy future and perhaps we will meet again in better circumstances. From yours truly, Anon7075.

 

[cme-dme]

Best of luck out there ^_^

 

[darksouls]

good luck, I wish you the best

 

[kiwimochii]

That was beautifully worded. I never had the pleasure of interacting with you but you sound like a kind person, I'm happy you found your peace and the help you needed, genuinely. I hope life will be kind to you moving forwards too. Take care and best wishes

 

[closetoyou]

godspeed dude, proud of you

 

[author]

We never interacted but just from reading this I'm extremely proud of you and I feel the sentiment in my heart. It made my shitty day a lot better by reminding me of the solid fact that things can change; that we all have a chance.

Thank you for this. Best of luck to you in life, seriously.

 

[CapitánBeto]

I joined this forum 6+ years ago, when I was 20 years old. A lot about me has changed since then.
I'm glad you are feeling recovered and that don't need this forum anymore.
Still, sometimes is nice to have a safe space where people understand your struggles and what you've been or are going through. Suicide is taboo unfortunately.
That's why I keep coming back once in a while, like today.
I wish you well and hope you continue this recovery path you've found.
Happy New Year to you and anybody reading this.

 

[deny_conformity]

I want to recover too, I have thought about CTB since I was about 13 (I'm 42 now). I've had several attempts now, the last attempt left me in a coma for a week. I was so disappointed to wake up.

Nothing has changed since then, except they put me on weekly medication so my options are limited. My ex wife was the only person who made me feel like I couldn't (though the temptation was always there). I just want to be okay like you so I'm sticking to the recovery forum.

 

[Hime]

Thank you for sharing your story here, just as it motivated me I'm sure others will find out equally encouraging to hold out. I wish you the very best that life has to offer

 

[Higurashi415]

Thanks for the awesome post. I really resonate with everything you wrote here, although you seem to be a lot further in the recovery path, if there even is a "path". Best of luck friend, godspeed.