tiny_dancer
Student
- Aug 23, 2022
- 136
Does anyone have days where the magnitude of just how fucked they are hits them like a ton of bricks? That's one of those days for me. Sending hugs to anyone else having a really bad day too.
theboy
Illuminated
- Jul 15, 2022
- 3,297
Oh, yes... there are lousy days where you only have the strength to want CTB
Is there anything in particular thats´'s bothering you at the moment...?
tiny_dancer
Student
- Aug 23, 2022
- 136
I was damaged by a medical procedure, and some days I get a sliver of hope that things can get better…but then reality hits and i realize how they really, really won't. Thank you for asking :)
(Not sure why I quoted you twice)
If I may ask, what kind of medical emergency is ailing you...? Is it some type of cancer, or something similar...?
In any case, I'm cincerely sorry for you!
Raskolnikov's Axe
Member
- Aug 31, 2022
- 84
Yes. I'm currently on the opposite end. Which means I feel wholly neutral. I am expecting a crash in a day or two.
Mixo
Blue
- Aug 2, 2020
- 775
Oh hell yes, on the daily! Gold membership card owner of the Totally Fucked Gang.
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tiny_dancer
Student
- Aug 23, 2022
- 136
No, not cancer. I saw a dr for something minor a few years back and was misdiagnosed. The treatments they recommended really messed up my body beyond repair and caused me (among other things) tons of pain & to become so sensitive to the sun and many other things that I can't really do anything or go anywhere anymore. Basically a prisoner. It seems silly compared to what other people on here go through, but I lost pretty much my entire life just like that. Before that I had a really full, good life, successful career, etc.
Mixo
Blue
- Aug 2, 2020
- 775
We have some things in common. I once used to be a high functioning person (with chronic depression but managing well) and most of the normality of being an able bodied, working person was taken away. I'm so sorry what's been done to you. It's fucked up beyond belief what "medical professionals" can get away with scot-free. You're not the only one on this forum who's endured this.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 44,180
I'm always thinking about the future and how things will only get worse for me, it's impossible to escape from those thoughts and there is no relief from misery. Suffering is the reality of this existence and I know that eventually I will have to find a way to leave. It is comforting the thought of leaving this life behind, as death solves all my problems and it's ideal never having to endure another day, but of course actually going through with suicide is not easy and I fear the method failing.
tiny_dancer
Student
- Aug 23, 2022
- 136
Thank you. And likewise, I'm sorry you had your normal life taken away too. I know…it's unfortunate that this happens to so many people.
Oh, that sounds awful! Being suicidal is subjective, though, so you will always have the right to feel like this.
Hollowillow
The only place that allows negative feelings.
- Aug 7, 2022
- 1,514
I blame society
I am society 
Translation: you obeyed society's slave drivers. You worked too hard ignoring your body's warnings crying for self care. And now you're so burned out you long for death. I was trying to undo it with total rest & firce feeding myself the stuff highest in vitamin c & b... But after many assaults & accudents I lost 10 years of hard work instantly... 3 times... In a year. Im done
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Lily (Osako)
Everything all at once
- Jul 30, 2022
- 381
Yes indeed. The fuckery abounds. Some days are so fucked that the word fucked doesn't even come close to describing it.
Then of course I make the mistake of saying "at least it can't get worse" which obviously is taken as a challenge by life and inevitably gets worse.
I'm so sorry you're having one of those days. Sending you hugs.
Then of course I make the mistake of saying "at least it can't get worse" which obviously is taken as a challenge by life and inevitably gets worse.
I'm so sorry you're having one of those days. Sending you hugs.
hamvil
Wizard
- Aug 29, 2022
- 650
yesterday was that day for me... started screaming to the point that the neighbours knocked on the door to ask if we needed help. good that they did not call the police.
thebunny
be what they fear.
- Aug 19, 2022
- 227
most days are just like that, fueled by intense anger and hatred for the world. it's hard to function during those type of days and my usual solution for it is to smoke or sleep. i'm sorry you're having such a day. i hope things go well at some point for you. i wish you well 
VKVK
.
- Oct 18, 2021
- 112
I just wish I didn't need to do it alone. Both enduring the pain in life and CTB. I have a family member nowadays that's trying her best to do something for me but "good" or "great" isn't good enough for me anymore. I am REALLY, REALLY fucked up mentally and a spark is all I need to turn into several panic attacks making me want to hurt myself badly and I've lost control of my mind. Meds don't help as much unless I'm sleeping, and I'm just a mess overall. I have a surgery soon but I'm thinking whether I shoukd give psych hospitals a try or just go through with the suicide already because I'm not living with all this pain. Worst part is I don't think the hospitals could do much. I need a very strong sedative not to make my head spin and spiral.
Anyway... I failed life and all my duties.
Anyway... I failed life and all my duties.
