Life is strange, isn't it? This unfounded expectation for everyone born here to live out their entire life span to upkeep the social cohesion. It puzzles me.
My solution to others I'm close to dying has always been to die myself, and that hasn't bothered me. Suicide has always been my trump card to escape something bad. And if there are people in my bubble who can only be happy under the condition that I live out 5 decades+, then so be it. That just says a lot about how nightmarish life is if all those fragile layers of conditions are required.
I'd hope at least that those who are left behind don't die wrecklessly if they decide to go down the same route as myself. I wish I could leave behind a "only open if you also are gonna ctb after me" letter, but that 1) encourages it by planting the idea and 2) might sabotage the method for many more people on SS.
What is the outcome if I do not ctb? Well I have thought about this, and basically the expectation is that I watch my parents and some siblings, and all animals I love die before me. And, what? Find strength from that? Most would submerge themselves into a new family to cope, by popping out a handful of mini-me's, but this is off the table for me. So it'd be just me taking the full emotional impact, drawn out over 50+ years. Fucking crazy that this is okay, while it isn't okay for me to just pull the plug early on.