I just want to cease existing as painlessly as possible, I just want to never suffer in this torturous, cruel existence ever again, no matter what I'll always see it as an abomination to exist and I suffer just from being enslaved in this existence I never would have wished for and never would have chose. I just want all to be finally gone and forgotten about for me, I'd always prefer to not exist than be conscious in this existence suffering all for the sake of it just waiting to die anyway, I'll always find it so dreadful to exist, I just want peace from this existence I always saw as the most terrible tragic mistake.