Venting wishicouldgetagun

[interna]

i wish i could get a gun, any gun, even a shitty one would work, itd at least give me some hope
i wish it was easy, i wish i could get one legally, illegally buying one will just put my family in trouble most likely, and i wanna avoid it
i just really really wish it was easier, i simply want it to end. why cant it be easier for me and everyone else?
no chance of getting a gun since i have a medical history of depression and one recorded suicide attempt.
i really want a gun.
i want to feel the oily and heavy steel in my hands and recognize the warmth in my chest as happiness; to be able to confirm that there is an end to my suffering, after all. that the "easy way out" is tangible

. i wish i could get a gun

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

i wish i could get a gun, any gun, even a shitty one would work, itd at least give me some hope
i wish it was easy, i wish i could get one legally, illegally buying one will just put my family in trouble most likely, and i wanna avoid it
i just really really wish it was easier, i simply want it to end. why cant it be easier for me and everyone else?
no chance of getting a gun since i have a medical history of depression and one recorded suicide attempt.
i really want a gun.
i want to feel the oily and heavy steel in my hands and recognize the warmth in my chest as happiness; to be able to confirm that there is an end to my suffering, after all. that the "easy way out" is tangible

. i wish i could get a gun

I hear ya. The only access to one I have is my housemates, and I don't want to get him into legal trouble. So I just put it to my head once in a while and imagine squeezing the trigger. If I ever "work up the nerve", I'll just go to a gun range. And heck, if I back out, nothing was lost, except the money spent going there.

 

[interna]

I hear ya. The only access to one I have is my housemates, and I don't want to get him into legal trouble. So I just put it to my head once in a while and imagine squeezing the trigger. If I ever "work up the nerve", I'll just go to a gun range. And heck, if I back out, nothing was lost, except the money spent going there.

i dont know whether or not id be allowed in a gun range . i havent looked into it .... mostly because im afraid my social anxiety would just make the process annoying.

i also think i wouldn't want to die surrounded by people, id want my peace . but, in my experience, what are preferences if not excuses for delaying suicide .

i think its a good call youre not using your housemate's gun. im sure its hard to resist though

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

i dont know whether or not id be allowed in a gun range . i havent looked into it .... mostly because im afraid my social anxiety would just make the process annoying.

i also think i wouldn't want to die surrounded by people, id want my peace . but, in my experience, what are preferences if not excuses for delaying suicide .

i think its a good call youre not using your housemate's gun. im sure its hard to resist though

Oh I can totally understand wanting to do it in peace. That's one reason I hesitate to go to a gun range. What if they catch me in time? I do know they very carefully monitor each lane. But, they can't watch everyone at once. I've been to a gun range. I grew up with guns, so I'm pretty familiar with them.

And yes, it is VERY hard to resist! Sometimes, I tell myself, he can't get into any legal trouble because it was MY responsibility. But, that doesn't give me enough peace to justify it.

 

[azo]

same

 

[Topaz111]

I really wish I could too. It is my ideal method. I know you don't need a license for black powder weapons in my country, but my history of psychiatric illnesses and suicide attempts would likely disqualify me anyway plus it's a really difficult purchase to hide and I need to be extra sneaky since I live with my mother. If I don't manage to CTB soon and somehow outlive her or smth then I might try to get it anyway, but hopefully I won't have to stay around for that long.

 

[theDunce]

I have one. And I didn't have one before and thought it would be easy once I got it. SI finds its way back and plays tricks with the mind. It will most likely be my method over hanging but it is hard to do still. It's harder than it seems to put the bullets in and put it to your head, then pull the trigger. I can get the bullets in and put it to my head but the last part is where SI takes over. it's like anything else. albeit, easier method I'm sure but still quite impossible...or until it's not I guess...hopefully soon.

I wish I could help you all out here, but know that SI is there regardless, it shows up and makes every method difficult, although I am aware having the gun would be easier, or so it seems to everyone. Yet, I am still here...but thinking, hoping, I can change that soon.

Also there are many on here with access to guns or they could have access and still don't use it for one reason or another. All those reasons are just SI coming to your rescue and playing tricks on the mind keeping you alive.

Not sure what I am saying here accept that it is harder than you think and excuses will come up regardless. I guess I am not sure that the method matters, I think that if I really wanted to fully I'd be able to even if I had to use another method like hanging myself which I still consider as an option even with the gun.

Anyway, just my thoughts...

 

[Spite]

I'm envious as hell of how easy it is to get a gun in the United States. Gunshot to the head is my ideal method, but I can't get a gun, because Australia has cucked gun laws.

 

[Liebestod]

I have one. And I didn't have one before and thought it would be easy once I got it. SI finds its way back and plays tricks with the mind. It will most likely be my method over hanging but it is hard to do still. It's harder than it seems to put the bullets in and put it to your head, then pull the trigger. I can get the bullets in and put it to my head but the last part is where SI takes over. it's like anything else. albeit, easier method I'm sure but still quite impossible...or until it's not I guess...hopefully soon.

I wish I could help you all out here, but know that SI is there regardless, it shows up and makes every method difficult, although I am aware having the gun would be easier, or so it seems to everyone. Yet, I am still here...but thinking, hoping, I can change that soon.

Also there are many on here with access to guns or they could have access and still don't use it for one reason or another. All those reasons are just SI coming to your rescue and playing tricks on the mind keeping you alive.

Not sure what I am saying here accept that it is harder than you think and excuses will come up regardless. I guess I am not sure that the method matters, I think that if I really wanted to fully I'd be able to even if I had to use another method like hanging myself which I still consider as an option even with the gun.

Anyway, just my thoughts...

Before I got my gun seized by the cops I thought it would be easy too, turns out the idea of instantly losing consciousness is something that doesn't sit right with me, or it was just SI, it's actually common with users on here who are gun owners, so now I'm relying on toxic gas poisoning which will cause me to loose consciousness quickly but not instantly. In my opinion that's actually better for me, still pissed I got my gun taken away though.

i wish i could get a gun, any gun, even a shitty one would work, itd at least give me some hope
i wish it was easy, i wish i could get one legally, illegally buying one will just put my family in trouble most likely, and i wanna avoid it
i just really really wish it was easier, i simply want it to end. why cant it be easier for me and everyone else?
no chance of getting a gun since i have a medical history of depression and one recorded suicide attempt.
i really want a gun.
i want to feel the oily and heavy steel in my hands and recognize the warmth in my chest as happiness; to be able to confirm that there is an end to my suffering, after all. that the "easy way out" is tangible

. i wish i could get a gun

Do you have a 3d printer and live in the US?

 

[interna]

Do you have a 3d printer and live in the US?

no ... itd make things easier if i did. but sadly neither of those things apply to me .

I have one. And I didn't have one before and thought it would be easy once I got it. SI finds its way back and plays tricks with the mind. It will most likely be my method over hanging but it is hard to do still. It's harder than it seems to put the bullets in and put it to your head, then pull the trigger. I can get the bullets in and put it to my head but the last part is where SI takes over. it's like anything else. albeit, easier method I'm sure but still quite impossible...or until it's not I guess...hopefully soon.

I wish I could help you all out here, but know that SI is there regardless, it shows up and makes every method difficult, although I am aware having the gun would be easier, or so it seems to everyone. Yet, I am still here...but thinking, hoping, I can change that soon.

Also there are many on here with access to guns or they could have access and still don't use it for one reason or another. All those reasons are just SI coming to your rescue and playing tricks on the mind keeping you alive.

Not sure what I am saying here accept that it is harder than you think and excuses will come up regardless. I guess I am not sure that the method matters, I think that if I really wanted to fully I'd be able to even if I had to use another method like hanging myself which I still consider as an option even with the gun.

Anyway, just my thoughts...

i understand . of course, i know itd be easy to be overwhelmed with si even if i had a gun, but the comfort of knowing you have an exit would be a relief to me .....

 

[knowledgeseeking]

I have one. And I didn't have one before and thought it would be easy once I got it. SI finds its way back and plays tricks with the mind. It will most likely be my method over hanging but it is hard to do still. It's harder than it seems to put the bullets in and put it to your head, then pull the trigger. I can get the bullets in and put it to my head but the last part is where SI takes over. it's like anything else. albeit, easier method I'm sure but still quite impossible...or until it's not I guess...hopefully soon.

I wish I could help you all out here, but know that SI is there regardless, it shows up and makes every method difficult, although I am aware having the gun would be easier, or so it seems to everyone. Yet, I am still here...but thinking, hoping, I can change that soon.

Also there are many on here with access to guns or they could have access and still don't use it for one reason or another. All those reasons are just SI coming to your rescue and playing tricks on the mind keeping you alive.

Not sure what I am saying here accept that it is harder than you think and excuses will come up regardless. I guess I am not sure that the method matters, I think that if I really wanted to fully I'd be able to even if I had to use another method like hanging myself which I still consider as an option even with the gun.

Anyway, just my thoughts...

This is me too. Every time I read a post about people wishing they had a gun, I always think they just don't know. I've had a gun for years and being TX they are everywhere and I just can't bring myself to pull the trigger. One reason is SI and the other is not wanting to traumatize people having to find and clean up after it.

I know plenty of people have done it, but It just sounds easier than it is.