Will it ever get better for trans people?

[ConfettiSpaghetti]

I have no money to DIY and the world is progressively getting worse. We have no allies, just people who hate us and people who are apathetic either way, regardless of how much these people claim to "support us". Correcting misinformation does nothing, being patient with people does nothing, trying to convince people does nothing. Discrimination and prejudice were just reworded and that was enough for everyone to be fully on board with them.


I have tried killing myself in the past both because I'm trans and due to other reasons but I'm too much of a coward. I never asked to be born this way and yet all I get is suffering either because of dysphoria or people. I just want to be normal. I don't even get to die peacefully knowing there will be justice one day because there won't. The general public will not learn its lesson, just avoid saying certain words and hide certain opinions, which they will express again against whichever flavour of minority of the time period is on the chopping block.


The worst of them will never be held accountable, as none were in the past every other time a minority suffered. And nothing will change because hurting more innocent people in the future is more preferable to being uncomfortable and mildly inconvenienced in this world. And as the US gets worse, the UK follows in its footsteps, and more and more of the world joins in i don't see how it will ever get better.


I will never get to have a childhood and by the time things get better (if they even do) I will be too old to benefit from them and it will be meaningless to me, and whether I live or die there will be no justice regardless.

I just want to hear that it will get better and that i wont be stuck in this body, that it will all be worth waiting. I just want it to be genuine and not some wishy washy bs to make me feel better. But that wont happen because it wont get better for me

 

[Zeir Anpin 729]

if it helps you can go directly to those people and they will bully you into suicide for FREE! no charges!!! a few of them might even attack you physically and kill you on the spot! lol theyre so nice. lots of us on this forum dont have that kind and willing neighbor so willing to push us over the edge so we can leave this stupid fucking planet forever. I mean i was jumped in the street once by a druggie gang member, but that fucker didnt even have the balls to kill me when a bystander jumped in and made it a 2v1. then the cops never showed up because they where too busy pretending to work while driving around making a shit ton of noise with their sirens and full gasoline tanks curtesy of the state of which hasnt slashed their budget enough in my opinion. i mean if they wont arrest criminals and ignore calls and make every crime legal then in my view they deserve death. its only a matter of time beofre i get targeted AGAIN and i cant wait man i just want a way OUT of this prison planet hellscape. the collective unconsious of the entire human race is preprogrammed to attack those that dont fall in line with gender stereotypes because being happy is illegal satan and the universe said so god is satan I have been banned by saudi arabia for summoning djinn into the heheha haha ha he i the when the ha the

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

We are experiencing life as it is, cruel and unfair; why? because we just happened to be born in the wrong bodies and most people are disgusted by that , at least this experience made me more empathetic towards the animals and humans who need it, you might not feel the same and that's fine, even I don't know if I truly feel like that or if it's just a facade I put on so I don't go insane.

This life is full of suffering, I don't know what can be done, the ones who can do something have been beaten down so much and belittled so hard that they are both done for mentally and physically , they were kept weak out of fear. They fear us , so if that can make you feel a little happier, I told it as it is; for me it doesn't make me happy, it makes me irrationally angry knowing that because of some stupid fear and tribalism I was belittled either because of my mental issues or because I feel like I'm not in the correct body. They need a "them" for the "us vs them" scheme.

 

[R. A.]

The worst part is the u.k., and even the u.s. comparatively, score so much better in so many ways than much of the rest of the world - this isn't a "don't complain" message but an "oh god humans why are we like this" one...

Global Trans Rights Index: 203 Countries Ranked in 2023

We took a deep dive look at transgender rights around the world to find the best and worst countries for trans individuals.

www.asherfergusson.com

 

[Dejected 55]

The US (where I am) is a bit more insidious. There are parts of the world that would kill you on the spot for being transgender. Here in the USA you'll "just" be made to feel bad about yourself, be ostracized, excluded, shunned, hated, chased, and possibly beaten... and here in the US, if you complain about any of it, the powers that be will kindly remind you how lucky you are to be here instead of one of the place where they kill people like you on the spot. Yay 'Merica! :(

I wish it would get better... not just for individuals suffering now, but in the future as we go along it would be nice if this and other similar kinds of hate would go away at some point.

I fear it will not, though. It seems to be too much a part of human nature. There's not even any good reason at all to hate gay or transgender or people of another race... there's just no reason. And while I loathe that we have gender wars too, at least there are some actual physical and biological and mental differences between men and women where you can actually see how there might be things at odds sometimes. Not for oppression or abuse, but just actual differences that naturally "divide" the genders from each other.

But people just kind of suck... and the thing is... there are transgender people who support politicians who do not at all support transgender people. How the fuck does that happen? I mean, all of our various oppressed people here in the US divide among themselves too and don't fully support each other... because again, people are flawed.

I feel like we are ultimately a doomed species, perhaps already on borrowed time.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's hard to know really. I think homosexuality is at least a little more accepted than it used to be- at least in some countries. So, that shows that enough visibility, discusion and changes in law can very slowly make people more accepting. Sadly though at the moment, we seem to be regressing the other way.

Of course, there will be some that will never accept it. It can't help that religions don't always take a supportive stance. That people can insist they are being righteous and moral in their opposing views. I wonder if it's more likely it will sway in and out of favour- according to those in/ with power.

As for those who are apathetic. Or rather, they are not actually anti- trans. My Dad probably falls in that category over pretty much all the discriminations- racism, sexuality, gender. Actively speaking- he is very accomodating. He agrees with and practiced equal opportunities in the workplace. In person, he'll judge a person on their merits- regardless of their race, sexuality, gender.

However, he complains about seeing it all represented so much on the TV. He doesn't like gay pride etc. Effectively, he gets sick of having his nose rubbed in it the whole time.

I tend to think that's unfair. If it's that offensive- watch something else! Plus, I see the need sometimes to go overkill in order to force us to see people's choices as a normal right and one we need to respect.

But, from his point of view- he knows these choices exist. He doesn't have huge problems with an individual making that choice themself- if he actually thought about it. But, he doesn't like it pushed on him so much. Maybe the defensiveness perhaps- which is kind of inevitable but again, it's not always pleasant to be around those with a chip on their shoulder, just waiting to take offense.

I suppose in a way, who does? Who likes fanatical religious people trying to convert them? People should absolutely have certain rights. We all should. Do you campaign for everything you find unjust though? I doubt we have the time! There is so much injustice in the world. I guess a lot of people feel they are doing enough by simply not opposing others. Treating them the same they would anyone else. As to whether they should be given special attention, special privelages- I think that's where my Dad has the problem really. He'll live and let live but, he grows tired of hearing all about it. I think what he fails to realise is- in order for things to become more equal- we need to hear about it lots.

To answer the question though- I just don't know. For starters, I think more research needs to be done on why a proportion of people do feel like they are in the wrong body. Is it to do with genetic development? Is it more prevalent now? If so- why? I remember a teacher once saying that men are more infertile now because the contraceptive pill is finding its way into drinking water. I don't know if that's true. It's obvious though- that modern humans are exposed to so many chemicals and pollutants. I wouldn't be at all surprised if it's affecting foetal development. Just about everyone seems to be mentally ill these days. Why shouldn't it be affecting sexuality and gender? Or, is the reason cultural?

I suppose from a personal perspective, while I agree, we should have the right to be who we believe ourselves to be- sometimes I worry too. Plenty of young people are unhappy. Struggling to fit in. It's almost part of the course. Who hasn't gone through that? My concern is- is it possible to put those feelings on to gender disphoria by mistake? We are pretty much actively encouraged to hate our own bodies- in order to get us to buy products to 'fix' them. But, are there many false- positives in terms of people feeling they are trans when, something else is going on? In which case, we need to be careful how it's presented. I don't know if that's a real thing although, I feel like here and there, I've read examples of it.

 

[SpinandPainr]

I honestly don't think it will. I think humanity is too inclined to violence and transgender folks enough of a small minoroty (similar percent to jews if memory serves right) and unfortunately when the going gets tough, humans love to have a group to blame

 

[KinderEgg]

I think it will eventually, things did seem to be getting better for awhile and then we became a culture war football for fascists. I don't think things will ever be fantastic, but I do think when/if this current political push right ends things might get better again, how long that takes I don't know. and it isn't guaranteed I guess. But the potential is there. I hope things get better, in the UK at least it feels like every week there's some new misery inducing trans related news.

Edited to add:
Depending on how much community you can find and the access to transition materials, you can find relief even under the awful circumstances we currently endure, I'd be lying If I said I've found that much myself but others have. It's why trans people tend to form trans only communities wherever they live and in places online, because it's safer together and it enables them a sense of community and belonging and that can be enough for some. That isn't enough for everyone though.

 

[leloyon]

I doubt it, we have a long way to go, in any case. Now that we've become one of the main culture wars, I don't see much of a bright future for us. I've heard that the only reason older trans people had to keep going was to create a brighter future for the next generation, and now we are supposed to do the same, but even just fighting for our basic dignity has ended with this.

I can imagine that people can DIY easier for now, maybe even the foreseeable future, and for those who can live stealth, that's great. But otherwise, and still in most aspects of life, we're gonna still be getting majorly shafted.

 

[ConfettiSpaghetti]

It's hard to know really. I think homosexuality is at least a little more accepted than it used to be- at least in some countries. So, that shows that enough visibility, discusion and changes in law can very slowly make people more accepting. Sadly though at the moment, we seem to be regressing the other way.

Of course, there will be some that will never accept it. It can't help that religions don't always take a supportive stance. That people can insist they are being righteous and moral in their opposing views. I wonder if it's more likely it will sway in and out of favour- according to those in/ with power.

As for those who are apathetic. Or rather, they are not actually anti- trans. My Dad probably falls in that category over pretty much all the discriminations- racism, sexuality, gender. Actively speaking- he is very accomodating. He agrees with and practiced equal opportunities in the workplace. In person, he'll judge a person on their merits- regardless of their race, sexuality, gender.

However, he complains about seeing it all represented so much on the TV. He doesn't like gay pride etc. Effectively, he gets sick of having his nose rubbed in it the whole time.

I tend to think that's unfair. If it's that offensive- watch something else! Plus, I see the need sometimes to go overkill in order to force us to see people's choices as a normal right and one we need to respect.

But, from his point of view- he knows these choices exist. He doesn't have huge problems with an individual making that choice themself- if he actually thought about it. But, he doesn't like it pushed on him so much. Maybe the defensiveness perhaps- which is kind of inevitable but again, it's not always pleasant to be around those with a chip on their shoulder, just waiting to take offense.

I suppose in a way, who does? Who likes fanatical religious people trying to convert them? People should absolutely have certain rights. We all should. Do you campaign for everything you find unjust though? I doubt we have the time! There is so much injustice in the world. I guess a lot of people feel they are doing enough by simply not opposing others. Treating them the same they would anyone else. As to whether they should be given special attention, special privelages- I think that's where my Dad has the problem really. He'll live and let live but, he grows tired of hearing all about it. I think what he fails to realise is- in order for things to become more equal- we need to hear about it lots.

To answer the question though- I just don't know. For starters, I think more research needs to be done on why a proportion of people do feel like they are in the wrong body. Is it to do with genetic development? Is it more prevalent now? If so- why? I remember a teacher once saying that men are more infertile now because the contraceptive pill is finding its way into drinking water. I don't know if that's true. It's obvious though- that modern humans are exposed to so many chemicals and pollutants. I wouldn't be at all surprised if it's affecting foetal development. Just about everyone seems to be mentally ill these days. Why shouldn't it be affecting sexuality and gender? Or, is the reason cultural?

I suppose from a personal perspective, while I agree, we should have the right to be who we believe ourselves to be- sometimes I worry too. Plenty of young people are unhappy. Struggling to fit in. It's almost part of the course. Who hasn't gone through that? My concern is- is it possible to put those feelings on to gender disphoria by mistake? We are pretty much actively encouraged to hate our own bodies- in order to get us to buy products to 'fix' them. But, are there many false- positives in terms of people feeling they are trans when, something else is going on? In which case, we need to be careful how it's presented. I don't know if that's a real thing although, I feel like here and there, I've read examples of it.

Can I go one fucking day without someone injecting their half-formed "opinions by vibes" into this? I get that you're trying to be respectful, but for fuck's sake can you not? What is it with cis people always going, "but are you really sure? maybe we need more research?" while refusing to engage with the research that already exists? There is already data, there is already knowledge. You just don't want to learn it. And honestly, what exactly do you think "more learning" would do when you won't even bother with what we know right now?

I don't care how well-meaning it sounds. Stop making it about cis people. About what cis people think, feel, tolerate, or get annoyed by. Stop centring how you or your dad react to representation or pride or activism, like that's somehow equal to the lived reality of being trans. For you, it's an opinion. For me, it's my fucking life.

And here's the part that really cuts: you get to fabricate whatever opinions feel comfortable, and then vote, shape society's attitudes, and contribute to the very environment that makes trans people suffer. You get to be casually, wilfully ignorant, and still act like your perspective somehow balances out the voices of the people directly affected. Meanwhile, we're the ones paying the price with dysphoria, with discrimination, with our healthcare debated like it's optional.

Why must cis people always be the centre of the universe on healthcare they refuse to understand, yet feel entitled to weigh in on? And the brutal irony is you're one of the better ones. You're polite, you're reasonable, you're not even the worst by a long fucking stretch. But this is still the best we get, while our healthcare is ripped away, while we're mocked and legislated against, while our lives get harder and harder. The best we get from the "good ones" is wilful ignorance dressed up as politeness, and palatable arrogance packaged as reasonableness.

I'm sorry for being rude but I cannot for the life of me bottle it any longer.

 

[GhostInTheMachine]

Even if it gets "good" for me, I know I'm stuck in this flesh cage. That alone makes dying a little less shit because there's not much more I want than to escape it. The world around me sucks, but it can be a total paradise and I'd still be in pain.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Can I go one fucking day without someone injecting their half-formed "opinions by vibes" into this? I get that you're trying to be respectful, but for fuck's sake can you not? What is it with cis people always going, "but are you really sure? maybe we need more research?" while refusing to engage with the research that already exists? There is already data, there is already knowledge. You just don't want to learn it. And honestly, what exactly do you think "more learning" would do when you won't even bother with what we know right now?

I don't care how well-meaning it sounds. Stop making it about cis people. About what cis people think, feel, tolerate, or get annoyed by. Stop centring how you or your dad react to representation or pride or activism, like that's somehow equal to the lived reality of being trans. For you, it's an opinion. For me, it's my fucking life.

And here's the part that really cuts: you get to fabricate whatever opinions feel comfortable, and then vote, shape society's attitudes, and contribute to the very environment that makes trans people suffer. You get to be casually, wilfully ignorant, and still act like your perspective somehow balances out the voices of the people directly affected. Meanwhile, we're the ones paying the price with dysphoria, with discrimination, with our healthcare debated like it's optional.

Why must cis people always be the centre of the universe on healthcare they refuse to understand, yet feel entitled to weigh in on? And the brutal irony is you're one of the better ones. You're polite, you're reasonable, you're not even the worst by a long fucking stretch. But this is still the best we get, while our healthcare is ripped away, while we're mocked and legislated against, while our lives get harder and harder. The best we get from the "good ones" is wilful ignorance dressed up as politeness, and palatable arrogance packaged as reasonableness.

I'm sorry for being rude but I cannot for the life of me bottle it any longer.

I'm sorry to have offended you. I'll admit, I'm not that well educated on the research around trans subjects and, you're right- I shouldn't be commenting when I don't know that much. I incidently don't vote- because I know I don't know enough.

As to why you're getting the short end of the stick- I imagine it's because you're out numbered. The description of my Dad's and my sentiment was in relation to your original question: Will things get better? Maybe not- if not enough people care enough for them to. I'm not saying it should be like that- by any means. Just that it is.

I'm not sure I'm inspired to learn and contribute though, if I always feel like I need to tiptoe around on eggshells so as not to offend. I'm not the most closed minded person. I'll listen to reasoned debate but, I'll simply avoid people that take offence and become aggressive at something maybe more naive rather than deliberately offensive/ anti. So, in response to:

'I get that you're trying to be respectful, but for fuck's sake can you not?'

No problem. I'll keep away from threads relating to Trans issues and it will be safer if we put one another on 'ignore'.

I think you might bear in mind that people who are more apathetic as you say- would more likely support your cause if you didn't effectively tell them how privelaged and awful they were if they have naive questions and ideas. You likely have cause to be angry but, angry people aren't that appealing to want to help. Sorry- just human nature. Can you hate/ resent someone and expect them to really warm to you?

I do truly wish the best for you though. I hope you receive the support you need and deserve but, I don't like causing offence either and, it's obvious that I have. So, as I said- it's obviously a subject for me to avoid in future.

 

[Galam]

In germany it is the same, you don't need to identify as trans, the normal people are hateful against all people who look hermaphroditic biological or with their clothes on but it is extremer if you are poor and disabled (ugly face).

I am not trans, but I am always seen as transman or sometimes even transwoman, lesbisn or just ugly and many exclude me. I am 100% sure I would have friends and partners, support and a good job if I was a male. I always wished to become Chance Perez or Jannik Schümann or even Freddy Carter.

I had one situation when a blond pretty girl started to make flirtuous gestures in front of me. I understood that she thought I was a boy and tried to look away, and she then looked puzzled (like 'huh am I not attractive enough for you?' because she was pretty and I bet many guys like such slavic beauties, she was arrogant').
She then looked closer and got a shocked face, her whole face bleached out like she saw some monster after she finally realized that I am just a ugly woman. This was the only time in my life someone showed me healthy sexual/romantic affection for maybe 1min.

I asked myself again and again how this must be to be liked for your body every day, because this small attention was great tbh and it could have been more. People that want to know you, talk to you and want to make some memories, give you jobs and they just want that you have success. People that want you happy and not sad.

This small amount of joy felt great and I saw all the possible ways how this could have gone out if I was a male. I would be ugly afk too, but it seems some women are attracted to ugy guys, even poor ones. Just look at Ariana Grande, with Ethan Slater. She must have choosen him because he looks like her brother pre-op.

While I got treated like trash even by a social worker who had few similarities with my body, was my age too but she felt disgust with my face. Maybe in a different world we would be a couple imo. But in this world, I am just the crazy cr_pple who is treated like shit, blamed for everything and abandoned just because they dislike how my face, head looks. It is mostly my face, I often hide my hair because it is damaged and I suffer from AGA male pattern hairloss. I more look like a Joker, I will never have a Harley Quinn.

I also don't want to use testosteron, I maybe get anabol steroids for muscle building and maybe they can give me heart attack. I try to not lose more hair, it looks very perv creepy because of my face. And as I had time to look at my father and half-brother I understand why people who don't have fetal alcohol syndrom find me ugly and get icks.