Why is it so hard

[ShadowedChaos]

I don't know what I can even do anymore I feel bored and lost with everything I'm trying everyday to occupy my mind but it's harder somedays. I feel like doing something drastic something anything to get out of myself. I want to disappear again get away from it all go on another bad path with no sense of control but even when I want I find myself unable. I'm in a situation now that's fucking with my head I can't do what I want cause I know what has to be done if I say what I feel everything is at risk. I just don't know what to do, do I just starting throwing my dignity and self respect away to feel something to feel away from all of this pain. I've had so many types of people I've gotten along with but I just don't belong at fucking all. How do I make sense of this strange feeling I always feel unsure of what is truth or lies or wanting to just do something random and see where it leads me. My body is physically everywhere in feeling I feel like sleeping for eternity or absolute restlessness of not being able sleep and wanting to be somewhere else. As soon as I sleep I go into something that constantly wrecks my mental and sends me into panic when I wake up.

 

[Jello Biafra]

Do you ever look at random people in public and wish you trade places with them to have a normal, regular life? I used to do that all the time.

I can empathize with you. I spend way too much time in my own head and constantly wish I could step outside of myself. I try my best just to keep busy, but then I run out of things to do and I go right back in to the circle of thoughts.

Sorry you are going through this.

 

[ShadowedChaos]

Do you ever look at random people in public and wish you trade places with them to have a normal, regular life? I used to do that all the time.

I can empathize with you. I spend way too much time in my own head and constantly wish I could step outside of myself. I try my best just to keep busy, but then I run out of things to do and I go right back in to the circle of thoughts.

Sorry you are going through this.

I used to want to or at least pcitured myself in a different life. Yeah I keep trying to step out of myself it just feels everytime I do something pulls me back into the depths or shows me everything I hate with this world. Thank you

 

[Jello Biafra]

I used to want to or at least pcitured myself in a different life. Yeah I keep trying to step out of myself it just feels everytime I do something pulls me back into the depths or shows me everything I hate with this world. Thank you

I've never done them personally, but maybe this is why people like doing disassociative drugs like ketamine.

That said, where I live they've had ketamine therapy in a legal, clinical setting for a few years now (for depression, etc). There seems to be a lot of people claiming it works - getting them off the horrible pharmaceuticals every psyche doc plies people with. I do believe that antidepressants, ssri's, etc., help some people, but I am also a firm believer that crap just makes things worse for just as many.

I was hospitalized after my wife died for 5 weeks. Although this was for mysterious nerve damage I had developed in my extremities, I had told them my wife took her life and they put me on 13 different medications. Antidepressants, ptsd meds, nerve meds, etc etc etc. That stuff messed me up so bad that less than a month after discharge I threw them all in the garbage and felt 1000x better mentally after getting off that stuff.

 

[ShadowedChaos]

I've never done them personally, but maybe this is why people like doing disassociative drugs like ketamine.

That said, where I live they've had ketamine therapy in a legal, clinical setting for a few years now (for depression, etc). There seems to be a lot of people claiming it works - getting them off the horrible pharmaceuticals every psyche doc plies people with. I do believe that antidepressants, ssri's, etc., help some people, but I am also a firm believer that crap just makes things worse for just as many.

I was hospitalized after my wife died for 5 weeks. Although this was for mysterious nerve damage I had developed in my extremities, I had told them my wife took her life and they put me on 13 different medications. Antidepressants, ptsd meds, nerve meds, etc etc etc. That stuff messed me up so bad that less than a month after discharge I threw them all in the garbage and felt 1000x better mentally after getting off that stuff.

Yeah they love pumping people full of pills which can definitely help some but sometimes they take it way too far and it becomes a detriment. I've always wanted to do ketamine treatment and I've met a few people to do it and they say it's one of the best things they ever did in their life it doesn't last forever though most told me at least for some months up to a year I've had people tell me it helped them. I can understand the dissociatives a bit I'm mostly always dissociated but with the combinations it is unique for sure. Completely agree with I've seen equally good and bad outcomes for medications it messed me up a few times when I was younger and probably still affects me in some way too this day. The whole mental health system in my experience how it is today is almost borderline useless for some people and is just severly flawed in some aspects. Some people in there times of need it changes their whole lives for better or worse.

 

[Jello Biafra]

Yeah they love pumping people full of pills which can definitely help some but sometimes they take it way too far and it becomes a detriment. I've always wanted to do ketamine treatment and I've met a few people to do it and they say it's one of the best things they ever did in their life it doesn't last forever though most told me at least for some months up to a year I've had people tell me it helped them. I can understand the dissociatives a bit I'm mostly always dissociated but with the combinations it is unique for sure. Completely agree with I've seen equally good and bad outcomes for medications it messed me up a few times when I was younger and probably still affects me in some way too this day. The whole mental health system in my experience how it is today is almost borderline useless for some people and is just severly flawed in some aspects. Some people in there times of need it changes their whole lives for better or worse.

Completely agree. As I said, I'm sure ssri's, etc., do have some positive impact on certain people, but just as many just end up worse off taking that crap.

Micro dosing of psychedelics also seems to have some positive momentum currently. Unfortunately, this implies you can source psychedelics in the first place.

It is my personal opinion that Western mental health skews too far on the side of science, as I believe the key to almost everything is balance. Mental health is a subjective experience, not always explained, or fixed, by addressing physical aspects of the brain.

I just think that mental health treatment would be much more effective if they blended a more metaphysical, or Eastern approach, rather than simplifying everything down to a biological problem. In other words, a combination of both would lead to more successful outcomes. Just my opinion though - I don't expect anyone to agree with that.