Why is it so hard to commit suicide

[ineedtogetout]

I can sit with my method for minutes after minutes time after time yet for some reason i just cant commit, and i really really really hate it, i hate this survival instinct so much, its tourturing me to stay in a place that makes me suffer so much

 

[itsgone2]

I know. Today is a good day for me to do it and I feel nearly paralyzed. F this stupid life and brain it's all a curse.

 

[ineedtogetout]

I know. Today is a good day for me to do it and I feel nearly paralyzed. F this stupid life and brain it's all a curse.

I am 1 on 1 in the same situation today

 

[itsgone2]

I am 1 on 1 in the same situation today

I mean this whole weekend is fine. But why delay? Right now is good. I'm a mess. Barely eating or doing any basic function. I've clearly given up. But still rotting away. Also you?

 

[Happy Cat]

you can always use drugs or alcohol to help you

 

[ineedtogetout]

you can always use drugs or alcohol to help you

Nope, tried this didnt helped

I mean this whole weekend is fine. But why delay? Right now is good. I'm a mess. Barely eating or doing any basic function. I've clearly given up. But still rotting away. Also you?

Yep 100% the same, i feel like im burning in hell 24/7 yet to actually do it feels impossible

 

[QuincyME]

I've been within arms reach of .45 revolver for almost a year now and can't find the courage to pull the trigger at the moment of truth. Today I loaded it, cocked the hammer, and stuck it in my mouth. As usual I didn't pull the trigger (obviously). I wish I could find the off switch for my SI for just a fraction of a second. It makes me even more depressed than what I already am.

 

[braintorture]

I've been within arms reach of .45 revolver for almost a year now and can't find the courage to pull the trigger at the moment of truth. Today I loaded it, cocked the hammer, and stuck it in my mouth. As usual I didn't pull the trigger (obviously). I wish I could find the off switch for my SI for just a fraction of a second. It makes me even more depressed than what I already am.

Practice with a water gun first. Wishing you luck

 

[ChamberOfEchoes]

Perhaps it's because those who truly want to commit suicide don't go through Sasu. Those who truly want to commit suicide just do it. Perhaps our destiny as users of this forum is to remain here in this existence until nature and biology finally consume us. This forum encourages living, not dying.

 

[doomedforsure]

i lean myself on alcohol to avoid fear

 

[QuincyME]

Practice with a water gun first. Wishing you luck

I appreciate the advice, but that's a not going to make one bit of difference. I've dry fired that gun hundreds of times into my mouth. No amount of practice with anything is going to make a difference.

 

[ineedtogetout]

I've been within arms reach of .45 revolver for almost a year now and can't find the courage to pull the trigger at the moment of truth. Today I loaded it, cocked the hammer, and stuck it in my mouth. As usual I didn't pull the trigger (obviously). I wish I could find the off switch for my SI for just a fraction of a second. It makes me even more depressed than what I already am.

Smh, i have fentanyl nasal spray at home where 5 sprays gets you to a dose which is almost guarnteed death yet i 1. Almost sure that i wont be able to pass the one press due to si and 2. I can stuck this to my nose but i cant press it nvm what, and same here it makes me even more depressed because it makes me feel trapped

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

If I were tough enough for suicide I'd be tough enough for life

 

[capi]

Everyday i wake up and my ultimate fear is not having the guts not to die. My final attempt will be with a gun, and if i cant do it with that, i cant do it with anything.
My fear and paranoia is genuinely leading me to some kind of existential psychosis. I feel trapped in this body. I can only hope me slowly pressing down on the trigger will make it suddenly instant

 

[Terrible_Life]

Everyday i wake up and my ultimate fear is not having the guts not to die. My final attempt will be with a gun, and if i cant do it with that, i cant do it with anything.
My fear and paranoia is genuinely leading me to some kind of existential psychosis. I feel trapped in this body. I can only hope me slowly pressing down on the trigger will make it suddenly instant

Do you also whenever this thought comes feel so trapped?

 

[capi]

Do you also whenever this thought comes feel so trapped?

Yes. Its horrible. If i feel like i wont be able to die, i get severe panic attacks.
When the day comes i have my gun and I probably wont be able to shoot it, i will probably freak out so bad i short circuit. Feeling trapped is like the ultimate form of hell.

 

[ineedtogetout]

Yes. Its horrible. If i feel like i wont be able to die, i get severe panic attacks.
When the day comes i have my gun and I probably wont be able to shoot it, i will probably freak out so bad i short circuit. Feeling trapped is like the ultimate form of hell.

It fees like a extremely cruel, well planned against us, tourture.

 

[QuincyME]

Smh, i have fentanyl nasal spray at home where 5 sprays gets you to a dose which is almost guarnteed death yet i 1. Almost sure that i wont be able to pass the one press due to si and 2. I can stuck this to my nose but i cant press it nvm what, and same here it makes me even more depressed because it makes me feel trapped

Precisely