Im anxiously awaiting my N, but now I have to figure out how to not be found and how to go about doing this peacefully with this insane amount of terror and anxiety awaiting me everyday, plus trying to figure out how to get the anti-emetics. I can barely focus on anything, I'm in constant survival mode now.
Brick In The Wall
2M Or Not 2B.
- Oct 30, 2019
- 25,157
The planning stages can be peaceful for some, but terrible for others. I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do. Try not to over stress yourself in the meantime.
HannahB
Death is the true name of time.
- Oct 29, 2019
- 185
My trick is to make it a secret celebration. Because after all this is what I want. Like a car or a house or a partner that should make me happy. But fuck this is the ULTIMATE think that I want. I start feeling bad for others around me but then I remeber they want what's best for me right? And who is to know what is best but me? I figured out this is what's best for me so I'm going to be happy about it even if no one else is for me.
I've been through so many stages and around again and again...anxiety, anger, acceptance, elation, disappointment... I was meant to go next week...with this week being spent handling any final issues and arrangements, but my survival instinct is apparently super passive aggressive because I've done and felt nothing for two days.
