Discussion When did you decide to try to recover and why?

[przeciwwymiotne]

I need something to distract me, please share your stories I'll respond to everyone

 

[Lonelyhotcake]

I hope this helps!

---

I didn't. In 2022 I wanted to die but then suddenly... things got better out of nowhere.

It was a weird year. Everything I ever wanted came true (for example... I've always wanted to have a family dinner in christmas... it happened that year, after waiting all my life).

I worked hard to change things (I had bad grades at college so I studied harder)... but what helped me with depression was realizing that my family gives a fuck about me.

They are controlling and manipulative because "they love me"? NOPE. They never cared when I said -I'm sad, I need help-.

So, I started learning how to take care of myself and things got better since then.

Everytime I think about killing myself I change it to: "We haven't live for ourselves yet".
I want all the things everybody (even depression) said to me that I CAN'T HAVE. I deserve to be happy too.

 

[pyx]

i've been trying to balance my suicidal tendencies and my day-to-day conduct for a couple of weeks now. in doing so, i tried supplementing my own fears with theory; trying to fall back on analysis, if you will. there are periods when i truly do feel at peace, but others where i feel the weight of all that i've done wrong. i'm bound by my relations to other people, however, so i figured that i would recover for their sake. there are things that i still want to do, even if that means complete ego death. now i kind of waver between the two.