Discussion Whats keeping you alive?

[nummie]

Question for anyone reading this post, is there something/ someone thats keeping you alive?

I dont know if there are some BL fans here but personally its the only thing thats keeping me alive.
I had a massive argument with my family and I really felt like i was going to end it all. I was here looking for ways and making a plan and i was going to get on my laptop to write some goodbye notes to my friends when i found my BL website open.
I genuinely started sobbing. If i actually do die, i'll never know how these stories end. Ive grown attatched so so many of these characters and theyve brought me so much comfort. Like in "Jinx", will jaekyung and kim dan get married?? I want to see that play out, i want to keep living for these fictional gay men.
This might sound pathetic, but i honestly couldnt bring myself to suicide after thinking about all the BL stories i'd be missing out on.

 

[MapleS]

the fact that my frend whom I love (worst case scenario) could get into jail or get killed/tortured and killed

 

[deny_conformity]

My last care coordinator said she'd cry if I tried anything and I don't want her to cry.

 

[ScaredCutter]

my bf, my cats and whats next to come in life (msotly just video games stuff lolol). my bf is everything to me, i want to be there for him, always. i dont want him to feel so alone. i love my cats but im scared of them dying.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

My someone.

 

[boredandoverboard]

I don't know. My rational fear of pain.

 

[Eriktf]

right now sasu moding keep me to bussy to think to much about ctb

 

[DeathByBananabread]

The place is a total mess, on account of the major depressive disorder that got me here. I'd like to tidy up, put aside anything that's worth anything with notes of what price I think it might go for, and then throw away all the useless crap including myself.

 

[whatisaholemadeof]

CTB isn't an option for me right now. Methods I was considering don't work well/are inaccessible/impossible right now. Also my friend openly told me they missed me when I visited them and, last thing I wanna do is make him sad.

 

[etherealgoddess]

I'm

Question for anyone reading this post, is there something/ someone thats keeping you alive?

I dont know if there are some BL fans here but personally its the only thing thats keeping me alive.
I had a massive argument with my family and I really felt like i was going to end it all. I was here looking for ways and making a plan and i was going to get on my laptop to write some goodbye notes to my friends when i found my BL website open.
I genuinely started sobbing. If i actually do die, i'll never know how these stories end. Ive grown attatched so so many of these characters and theyve brought me so much comfort. Like in "Jinx", will jaekyung and kim dan get married?? I want to see that play out, i want to keep living for these fictional gay men.
This might sound pathetic, but i honestly couldnt bring myself to suicide after thinking about all the BL stories i'd be missing out

For me, and I know this won't apply to everybody or be super relatable, but being naturally privileged is what made me hold on. Knowing I had so many natural privileges in life made me not want to lose my genes because the only issue was my mental health. I felt like I had to help the world in some way and not waste my advantages.

 

[impossible_victory]

I don't have energy to do anything

 

[suudo]

Something, somewhere out there, eventually HAS to make all this worth it, right?
For now, trying to figure out what that may be or if it even exists is my something.

 

[fr1dgeDelv3r]

you pretty much described me there. life begins to suck and i wanna die but then i get so engrossed into fictional stuff and daydream so much that ctb begins to seem counter productive. maybe i should work on my escapism skills instead of working on a suicide method. i wonder if those monks who spend their life meditating in temples can completely disassociate from "reality".