Venting Whatever

[WOODESITY]

So today I dragged myself at work.. done.. I got home and earlier this evening I bought liquor again after 3 days of not drinking, I thought why the hell not to drink if it's only thing that I enjoy.. I like listening to music and it's only thing that I like in this life, but here I'm unable to listen certain songs because it remainds me of my ex and I cannot describe more but it's so fucking painful to think about only person who I ever loved, i hate myself, this life, everything and fucking everything, sometimes I wanna scream so loud but i fucking can't because there are people you know and they'll be bothered and I'll be weird and shit to them and guilt will stay.. so i keep quiet in this fucking life I hate being in.. Right now I feel so fucking alone and scared and same time I don't wanna talk to anyone.

Often I cannot reply simple messages as hi, how are you etc. and then I'm starting to think that I'm hurting their feelings because they might think I'm ignoring them.

I just wish i was never born so I never had to experience these feelings.

It's all big fucking nothingness, I hate being alive, i fucking hate it..

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I hate work as well. It's horrible. One of the many reasons I want to die. I'm not smart so I will be stuck doing shit jobs until I die.
I hear songs that remind me of ex's … sometimes they are painful but not always. I don't think I will ever be in another relationship.
I'm so far gone that I could care less about being in one.
I also wish I had never been born ... it would have saved me a lifetime of misery.