Discussion What method did you attempt and why it failed? How will you address your mistake next time you ctb?

[curiousbeing]

I share my own experience below. Please, share yours

My method: My method was to drown myself by entering sea, inhaling gas asphyxiant in February, winter, temperature 8C

Why I failed: I failed because my fear got intense, I didn't hurry and wasted 10 minutes. During 10 minutes some car appeared, saw me at wilderness middle of nowhere, felt suspicious and took me home. If I didn't waste that time and quickly entered sea, I would be dead

What will I do next time? Before I drown myself, choking myself by swallowing something while I am on land. I can't decide yet what will it be. It must be something soft and slippery so it will go deeper. Probably marshmallows. This way, even if someone finds me, they will have to rush me to nearest hospital and I will be dead. So, swallow and enter sea. No need for wasting hour of time going into somewhere far away into wilderness. And I can make an excuse telling them I just accidentally swallowed marshmallows while preparing to swim at public beach, even if I do survive whole thing.

How about you?

 

[Darkover]

i've had one attempt at suicide i overdose on olanzapine, zopiclone, and amitriptyline was found shortly after i had passed out unconscious by my mum she rang an ambulance
the paramedics found me unconscious i was in respiratory arrest i was taken to the hospital where i was in a coma for 2 day

i am just going to go with hanging seem like the easiest option available to me

 

[kagebunshin]

I stabbed myself three times last year which you can read about here. I failed because I didn't stab myself a fourth time, didn't sever any arteries, or should have waited longer (seven hours wasn't enough). Next time I'll follow SN protocol to the dot to make sure I don't fail.

 

[WishICouldGo]

My first attempt was cutting my wrists - I've only tried that because I was desperate at the moment and that was the only available method. I've failed because I couldn't cut deep enough due to pain (I still hate myself for being such a wuss).

My second attempt was by helium inhalation and honestly, I've failed because I didn't do enough research. Knowing what I know now, my attempt was downright comical.

Inert gas asphyxiation is one of my preferred methods at the moment and hopefully next time will be a success!

 

[richardpinkhammer]

I stabbed myself three times last year which you can read about here. I failed because I didn't stab myself a fourth time, didn't sever any arteries, or should have waited longer (seven hours wasn't enough). Next time I'll follow SN protocol to the dot to make sure I don't fail.

I read your full post. That was one of the most powerful things I've ever read. Have you ever thought about writing a book? You have a flair for writing. I'm being very serious.

My friend was a CSI in a southern state. She responded to a suicide at a hotel. This guy stabbed himself in the heart with a large hunting knife. He also cut his jugular vein, but it wasn't all that deep. He then stood in the tub and bled out with the water running so as not to leave a mess for housekeeping I'm assuming. You have to be really committed to die to CTB this way. I think you get to a point where the misery becomes more powerful than the SI and you can complete the act.

 

[Comefindthemissing]

i've had one attempt at suicide i overdose on olanzapine, zopiclone, and amitriptyline was found shortly after i had passed out unconscious by my mum she rang an ambulance
the paramedics found me unconscious i was in respiratory arrest i was taken to the hospital where i was in a coma for 2 day

i am just going to go with hanging seem like the easiest option available to me

I'm sorry for your experience hopefully you weren't interned in a psychiatric facility or anything?! Cuz that would be way worse than locking yourself at home

 

[kagebunshin]

I read your full post. That was one of the most powerful things I've ever read. Have you ever thought about writing a book? You have a flair for writing. I'm being very serious.

Thank you for your kind words. I like to write as a hobby and to process my thoughts. It feels presumptuous to write a book about my own experiences though, I don't know if anyone would be interested to read something like that...

 

[Bubuu]

My first suicide attempt was drowining myself. I had a backpack with a 25 kg bag of cement in it. I jumped into the canal, and to my surprise, I floated with the backpack,I still don't understand why I didn't sink. I struggled against the waves for an hour until I finally managed to find a small hole in the canal wall where I could grip with my fingers. I held on there until a canal ship came by and the crew pulled me out.
I was lucky,I was only 16 at the time, and people tend to be more compassionate toward someone that young who's faced death. They took me to the nearest port, gave me money for a bus ticket, and the captain told me to call him once I got home.

 

[maka]

My first real attempt was partial, and I failed because my cats kept scratching at the closet door and I could not let myself relax without thinking about them. I am switching my method to SN now, and I'm glad that it didn't work so that I had a few more years to spend with my babies.

 

[maplefig]

Hanging. I stupidly thought a shower rod was sturdy enough. I will probably switch my method to an ingestible substance in the future. I also thought about inert gas asphyxiation but it's too pricey. I've seen a few successful attempts on autopsy websites involving helium. If I could obtain it pure, I'd have done it yesterday.

 

[Chr0nicAnhedonic]

Partial hanging. I failed because I was on my knees and leaning forward, instead of sitting slumped over. My body would keep jolting me backwards before I could pass out.

I just need to reread the steps and make sure my rope is tied in the right position for me to sit down.

 

[zdrowko]

I tried hanging myself with an HDMI cord a few years back. The reason i failed is because the thing holding the HDMI cord that was attached on the ceiling snapped and I fell.

I'll look into researching and eventually getting SN before getting ready to visit family in my home country. I would like to die there.

 

[UserFromNowhere]

I've been committed on SN for a while now, but I've tried partial hanging a few times. Either I can't find the right spot or I'm not applying enough pressure, but I never seem to black out, so I end up backing out. I've gotten to the point that it's either SN or nothing.

 

[ccoki17]

I found a ctb partner in 2020 on my other acct. Here. We had a pact and everything was meticulously planned. Get a crappy hotel, and die together but if that fails we go to a field and they shoot me, then shoot themselves.

I came up short by like $5-10 and couldn't get an Uber to the location.

This has haunted me since.
Absolute failure. I don't even understand how I survived that aftermath.... What a dumbass I hatenmyself so much for that.

Other attempts. Hanging. I had practiced neck hanging moves on aerials so much that when I went to hang my neck was too conditioned. I had, in the past been able to go to a very warm, white euphoric place when practicing but not anymore. Prior to that I fell from a hole in the garage and the rope snapped so I survived.
Tried to jump, my friend called the cops out of concern from when we spoke they arrived JUST as I was prepared to jump.
I could go on for ages but it's making me angry at myself.

 

[Docc]

Partial hanging. I failed because I was on my knees and leaning forward, instead of sitting slumped over. My body would keep jolting me backwards before I could pass out.

I just need to reread the steps and make sure my rope is tied in the right position for me to sit down.

whats the difference between leaning forward and slumping over? (non. ative speaker)

 

[LeavingEarly]

whats the difference between leaning forward and slumping over? (non. ative speaker)

Yeah I'm curious too. What do you mean?

Partial hanging. I failed because I was on my knees and leaning forward, instead of sitting slumped over. My body would keep jolting me backwards before I could pass out.

I just need to reread the steps and make sure my rope is tied in the right position for me to sit down.

Can you elaborate more about your positions please? What is the best way?

 

[EmptyBottle]

My first attempt with NN based method failed because I skipped too many steps. I tied the sock tight around my neck, but failed to use anything to obstruct the carotids, learnt that the steps were there for a reason.

No idea if I will try again, following the steps
.. probably won't retry CTB.. since I learnt that death wish is more of an escape wish and it rises and falls.

And even when the wish peaks, putting the knowledge from here into practice requires bypassing instincts.

The idea popped into my head (mere hours ago) of shutting down laptop, tying charger around table and trying partial, yet I didn't even take it the steps of even testing whether it could hold my weight, just let the thought fade away.

 

[Nemaki Arber]

Most my attempts involved overdosing on acetaminophens and seroquel and other meds like zoloft, the most violent one involved jumping in front of a car, some involved attempted partial hanging.

Acetaminophens and seroquel aren't exactly lethal even at high dosage, usually just really damages your liver or give you extremely restless legs respectively, zoloft kinda sedated me, now I'm putting more research and time into obtaining substances that are lethal and painless such as fentanyl and sedatives.

Partial hanging, I wasn't sedated enough, though next time I'll prob use the tie method and heavily sedate myself with my prescription meds, weed and alcohol, or use all of those substances with partial hanging if I'm sedated enough, might add lsd into the mix just to help fight SI.

Jumping in front of a car I guess it's the angle that I got hit at that caused it to fail, my hip and right leg took the brunt of the shock though it still managed to break my 2 top front teeth and leave me permanently disabled, I likely won't be reattempting this, I jumped in frontof a car under the heat of extreme stress, pain and shock and it took me 2 tries before I overcame my SI and fully committed to it, next time I'll probably just jump off the balcony.

 

[NonEssential]

I've yet to do anything serious, but I once rode my bicycle for like over half an hour to a bridge I thought I could jump off of. I stood on the bridge for quite a long time, but I just couldn't do it and had to go back.
I wanted to try it a second time too, but my sister found out and called my dad to come back from work. There we discussed it, but I can't really remember that day very well.

 

[hamudhhb]

first attempt was 10 years ago, i was 17 tried to cut my wrist, but stoped because of pain.

secound attempt was 2-3 years after, i took bunsh of random pills that i found (about 150 pills), and for some reason my sister woke up at 4 am and called an ambulance and got rushed to ER.

now for like 6 month im trying partial hanging every couple days and i dont know why i fail to pass out , i have tried it every possible way (every body position, every rope placement and knot position, couple diffrent ropes), my theory is why i fail (anatomy, higher blood pressure then normal) or maybe i just suck idk.

allthogh i got it once, but i passed out from hyperventilation not from pressure on the certiod artery, i failled because i didnt have a proper rope that time, it snaped.

(i was very sick that day, smoked little weed the day befor) i think those helped. i will try to replicate exactly what i did once im sick again.

 

[Manic Panic]

Ive had way to many attempts to count , i dont remember all of them but this is what i do.My first attempt I jumped off the roof of my great grandmother's house as a child , ended up with a bunch of bruises and a twisted leg but nothing serious. I should've known 3 stories wasn't enough.
My second attempt I tried cutting open my wrist, didn't realize you had to cut incredibly deep and how painful it can be if you aren't ready.
Third attempt my first big attempt. I overdosed ibuprofen and ended up having to get my stomach pumped.
Never again.....
After that I don't remember all of the remember of my attempts.
But here are the bigs ones I remember
I overdosed on 3000mg of Benadryl and flatlined in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. I had what I was told a total of over 30 seizures that day and way lucky to have survived.
I had a Benadryl addiction for a few years and it's understandable why I went so far to try and end my suffering. It just was never a good way to end myself and never will be.
Overdosed on heroin, I was given narcan but I don't remember much about it .

In another attempt I used a knife to cut open my wrist again this time succeeding in cutting veins throughout my arm and bleeding out in my room. Police showed up to me holding a knife and having to take it away from me before I lost consciousness. I really wish I want caught because this one could have been the one.

I hung myself and was saved before any significant damage was done to my brain .

I've overdosed on all my prescriptions at one , so antidepressants, anti psycotics, anti anxiety pills .... I had to get my stomach pumped again.

And I took like 7000mg of thc , got black out drunk had multiple seizures and my heart stopped at one point. Kinda a dumb one but it happened.

 

[EmptyBottle]

Ive had way to many attempts to count , i dont remember all of them but this is what i do.My first attempt I jumped off the roof of my great grandmother's house as a child , ended up with a bunch of bruises and a twisted leg but nothing serious. I should've known 3 stories wasn't enough.
My second attempt I tried cutting open my wrist, didn't realize you had to cut incredibly deep and how painful it can be if you aren't ready.
Third attempt my first big attempt. I overdosed ibuprofen and ended up having to get my stomach pumped.
Never again.....
After that I don't remember all of the remember of my attempts.
But here are the bigs ones I remember
I overdosed on 3000mg of Benadryl and flatlined in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. I had what I was told a total of over 30 seizures that day and way lucky to have survived.
I had a Benadryl addiction for a few years and it's understandable why I went so far to try and end my suffering. It just was never a good way to end myself and never will be.
Overdosed on heroin, I was given narcan but I don't remember much about it .

In another attempt I used a knife to cut open my wrist again this time succeeding in cutting veins throughout my arm and bleeding out in my room. Police showed up to me holding a knife and having to take it away from me before I lost consciousness. I really wish I want caught because this one could have been the one.

I hung myself and was saved before any significant damage was done to my brain .

I've overdosed on all my prescriptions at one , so antidepressants, anti psycotics, anti anxiety pills .... I had to get my stomach pumped again.

And I took like 7000mg of thc , got black out drunk had multiple seizures and my heart stopped at one point. Kinda a dumb one but it happened.

oh wow, 3 intervention-survivals (benadryl, heroin and hanging)