Discussion What keeps you going?

[SweetDreams500]

Fear for me

 

[yive]

nothing tbh, just procrastination i think

 

[Life_and_Death]

mental disorders because bpd b*llshit lol. i love that the same thing thats killing me is also keeping me alive.

 

[Mistake of Nature]

My stupid reptilian brain that's responsible for my survival instinct and my fear of dying.

 

[EnnuiCat]

Guilt over the people I'd hurt. And my cats. Otherwise I'd have been long gone by now.

 

[FuneralCry]

The thing that stops me from ctb is my fear of failing a method and being forced to live with the consequences. I also lack the courage. I would do anything for a right to die in peace.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Making my death as financially less of a burden as possible for my family

 

[WornOutLife]

My dad, dog, having no method and the passion for my job.

 

[lanax09]

pretty much nothing except timing now. I'll ctb in one week unless something gets in the way.

 

[BlankUser]

My boyfriend...my bird...hehe...my fear :(

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Honestly? No fucking idea.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I'm not going, I'm dying.

 

[NeuroDamaged3]

My stupid reptilian brain that's responsible for my survival instinct and my fear of dying.

Pretty much this. I barely have it in me to eat let alone ctb. I once tried several times and was constantly thinking of suicide but my brain degraded and I lost my drive / self .... I'm just doomed now to live out whatever hell awaits me before a natural death.

 

[Marktheghost]

Just a tiny bit of uncertainty about whether I really want to die. I don't know why I'm unsure though.

 

[ClownMe]

my dog, i cant think of anything else that im living for.

 

[S like Siren]

my failed suicide attempts ... otherwise I would have died months ago

 

[demuic]

If it weren't for my mom I would be dead right now.

 

[W’ren]

My dog. I owe it to my dog to hold him as he passes on. When he goes, i will be free to ctb.

He is 12. On our walk this morning his back legs gave out and he fell once. My poor old guy- it isn't his time *yet*…. But it's coming. When he no longer enjoys his walks and his food and he no longer plays- i will help him go with the dignity that isn't given to me.

Then i will follow.

 

[Error1987]

2nd season of my favorite show. I really want to watch it before I go.

 

[Bat 17]

My daughters and the effects of lithium and quetiapine

 

[Tonight634]

SI, plus I have a lot of cats (I still live with my parents so the cats wouldnmt be abandoned after my death) that I love like...They're just so cute a fluffy and you don't get that when you're dead, also I love bubble tea and wanna try a lot of different flavorings, I started playing the piano which fullfills me a lot too...In short I do have things to live for, but on the other hand I'm more of an artistic type of person, extremely emotional and weak and depressed and anxious and you just can't fucntion in this world with all this...Yeah I'm stuck between life and death like many here...

 

[jbell213]

Guilt filled procrastination. I know when I ctb and my family find out it will break them. I can't stand that thought but I can't stand to live like this for much longer. I want to protect them almost as much as I want to ctb

 

[russlinjimmies]

A sense of duty to those who rely upon me.

My mother has cognitive issues and needs help with several things. While she is a large part of why I want to CTB I'm still conditioned to feel obligated to help.

My daughter is the one I feel the most responsible for, for obvious reasons, but she is an adult now. I often think me being gone would help her find the reason to become more independent. Plus my negative influence would no longer be a part of her life.

I have a couple of friends that I know would be hurt, but I don't think my death would be anything they couldn't overcome.

I do also have some fears of the unknown nature of being dead, and SI is still pretty strong.

 

[Catchingdabus27]

Fear... Im scared to try... I always have been... and these days whats keeping me here is my low moods.

Im.too depressed to clean myself. like my brain feels smaller when depressed? So My brain juat feels like it can't take in all the steps necessary to die.

I am going to feed myself and my brain and keep planning though. Had enough.

 

[user_name_here]

- Guilt over hurting my family and loved ones
- Making my Mum have to bury another son
- The job and industry I work in
- This unrealistic sense of achievement I'm yet to reach (if ever)
- My duty to change my family's life for the better before I check out

It's very tough but I want to keep pushing

 

[motel rooms]

I have a pretty strong sex drive, so I'm still able to experience significant pleasure. That's the only thing that kills or at least numbs the chronic aches & pains I'm forced to live with

 

[return2dreamland]

nothing. my province is still in severe lockdown so I can't buy supplies & i'm inpatient, so i can't really go ahead with plans.

 

[Soulless Angel]

Not being able to be alone, not wanting to wreck peoples birthday's (and they say I am selfish?!) I have at least 5 birthdays in the next 2 months min, I just feel Like I holding on for nothing but peoples own feelings, is this living or just exiisting?

 

[SweetDreams500]

2nd season of my favorite show. I really want to watch it before I go.

what show?

SI, plus I have a lot of cats (I still live with my parents so the cats wouldnmt be abandoned after my death) that I love like...They're just so cute a fluffy and you don't get that when you're dead, also I love bubble tea and wanna try a lot of different flavorings, I started playing the piano which fullfills me a lot too...In short I do have things to live for, but on the other hand I'm more of an artistic type of person, extremely emotional and weak and depressed and anxious and you just can't fucntion in this world with all this...Yeah I'm stuck between life and death like many here...

I've always wanted to try bubble tea

I have a pretty strong sex drive, so I'm still able to experience significant pleasure. That's the only thing that kills or at least numbs the chronic aches & pains I'm forced to live with

i'm jelly

 

[brokenwaves]

only thing that has ever stopped me is my love for people in my life. my death will cause them trauma and pain they will carry the rest of their lives. especially my sibling's kids, i'm afraid that me dying will fuck them up completely because we are quite close and they're too young to go through this. if it wasn't for hurting these people, i would have checked out many many years ago