What I fear is suffering for way longer in this torturous, deeply undesirable existence I always saw as the most terrible, tragic mistake and it's just so horrific to me how a human can be conscious in this existence for so long with no limit as to how much agony they can feel. It really is just all so dreadful to me and I wish I never existed more than anything, nothing would ever make me wish for the suffering and cruelty of this deeply undesirable existence rather all I want is to cease existing peacefully with all finally gone and forgotten and I wish I never suffered more than anything, I really will always find it so terrible to exist, for me existence really is the problem and it's one only non-existence can take away for me, I'll always see it as an abomination to suffer in this existence.