• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block.

Waiting for death

Waiting for death

Experienced
Oct 2, 2023
216
I'm planning to ingest pesticide to catch the bus. I'm thinking about today at night in my bed time or maybe after having my shower at midday. A few minutes ago, I drank a little bit a poison to see what's going happen. I'm feeling a slight discomfort in my belly and eyes. I feel like my mouth is burning now. I will ingest more poison soon. I hope this works.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
Reactions: Praestat_Mori and WAITING TO DIE
Y

Yuri_gami

Member
Oct 10, 2023
13
I usually try to catch my bus right before I go to sleep, as it reduces to chance of being found.
However, all of my attempts have failed thus far, so take my information with a grain of salt.

Good luck, this existence is miserable; I hope you catch your bus.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: Praestat_Mori and Waiting for death
Waiting for death

Waiting for death

Experienced
Oct 2, 2023
216
I usually try to catch my bus right before I go to sleep, as it reduces to chance of being found.
However, all of my attempts have failed thus far, so take my information with a grain of salt.

Good luck, this existence is miserable; I hope you catch your bus.
Thank you.
 
D

DreamEnd

Enlightened
Aug 4, 2022
1,892
Are you sure it's a good method? Haven't heard of that before
 
  • Like
Reactions: dumbgirlonline and Praestat_Mori
P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
13,070
I'm sorry that life brought you to this point. This is a terrible way to CTB but if this is your own decision I wish you all the best with your plan and I hope you find peace. Safe travels and good luck!

If you want to reconsider your method you can still do it, there are way better and less painful methods.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Waiting for death
cats333

cats333

sleepy
Aug 10, 2023
117
i hope u find peace after ctb🫶🫶lots of love
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Waiting for death
SVEN

SVEN

I Wish I'd Been a Jester Too.
Apr 3, 2023
2,807
Best wishes in achieving your aims, though this would not be a method I could face.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Waiting for death
CrazyDiamond04

CrazyDiamond04

Metal Fan- Wants to hang Under The Oak
May 8, 2023
481
Are you sure it's a good method? Haven't heard of that before
I've heard cases of people using this to CTB; especially in Vietnam and other Asian countries. I can't speak to the efficacy of it though.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Bacon and Baseball and Waiting for death
H

hardtruth

Member
Oct 9, 2023
48
Yeah common method in Asia indeed.. It's bloody painful though and slow. I hope you think it through.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Waiting for death
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
45,685
I don't really know anything about that method but anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, best of luck with your plans.
 
  • Like
Reactions: HD72 and Waiting for death
Waiting for death

Waiting for death

Experienced
Oct 2, 2023
216
I'm still here. I'm getting cold sweat. My belly hurts so much now. I'm feeling a terrible pain in my stomach. My breath tastes like poison. I'm feeling sleepy. Today at night I'll take my second dose of the pesticide I hope it works otherwise I'll try poison and hanging. Unfortunately I didn't lose my consciousnesses yet 🙄 😒
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
Reactions: SVEN
R

randal_bond

Me encantaria practicar ES con Hispanohablantes.
Oct 23, 2018
288
I'm still here. I'm getting cold sweat. My belly hurts so much now. I'm feeling a terrible pain in my stomach. My breath tastes like poison. I'm feeling sleepy. Today at night I'll take my second dose of the pesticide I hope it works otherwise I'll try poison and hanging. Unfortunately I didn't lose my consciousnesses yet 🙄 😒
What pesticide is it?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Waiting for death
Waiting for death

Waiting for death

Experienced
Oct 2, 2023
216
Chlorpyrifos, an organophosphate insecticide, is the most widely used insecticide in the U.S. It is used both in agriculture and for pest control in houses and other buildings.
 
R

randal_bond

Me encantaria practicar ES con Hispanohablantes.
Oct 23, 2018
288
Chlorpyrifos, an organophosphate insecticide, is the most widely used insecticide in the U.S. It is used both in agriculture and for pest control in houses and other buildings.
OMG, that's harsh. Why do you treat yourself as a pest? You deserve better. If you saw a rat die, you know in what agony they die. Or course, different poisons are used but the result is the same.
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I only know there must be a pretty good reason for your decision. :aw:
 
  • Yay!
Reactions: Waiting for death
Waiting for death

Waiting for death

Experienced
Oct 2, 2023
216
OMG, that's harsh. Why do you treat yourself as a pest? You deserve better. If you saw a rat die, you know in what agony they die. Or course, different poisons are used but the result is the same.
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I only know there must be a pretty good reason for your decision. :aw:
I'm not confident yet. I didn't even pass out. It's been three hours since I took the poison and it didn't work yet. I'm feeling like my eyes, mouth and belly (stomach, liver, pancreas or whatever) burning. If it doesn't work, I will try poison and full hanging (potentially break my neck). I just hate myself. I don't have forces to face life brotha. I'm a bit scared in case I die, God or any kind of divine justice might punish me because I'm killing myself like this. I'm taking the risk I can't wait to sleep and never wake up again.
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: randal_bond
Darkover

Darkover

Archangel
Jul 29, 2021
5,649
you've got big balls to try this method
 
  • Like
Reactions: Waiting for death
R

randal_bond

Me encantaria practicar ES con Hispanohablantes.
Oct 23, 2018
288
I'm not confident yet. I didn't even pass out. It's been three hours since I took the poison and it didn't work yet. I'm feeling like my eyes, mouth and belly (stomach, liver, pancreas or whatever) burning. If it doesn't work, I will try poison and full hanging (potentially break my neck). I just hate myself. I don't have forces to face life brotha. I'm a bit scared in case I die, God or any kind of divine justice might punish me because I'm killing myself like this. I'm taking the risk I can't wait to sleep and never wake up again.
Don't worry about god. If any sort of god exists, it's definitely not divine "justice". It's a mean, jealous and vindictive diety, if Old Testament is anything to go by. And a completely psychopathic and inhumane entity that experiements with how much pain a human being can bear befor they can't take it anymore, if our lives are anything to judge from. Tell this god to go to hell and do what you need to do.
 
  • Like
Reactions: HD72, Yavannah, SpiritualDeath and 1 other person
Waiting for death

Waiting for death

Experienced
Oct 2, 2023
216
Don't worry about god. If any sort of god exists, it's definitely not divine "justice". It's a mean, jealous and vindictive diety, if Old Testament is anything to go by. And completely psychopathic and inhumane entity that experiements with how much pain a human being can bear befor they can't take it anymore. Tell this god to go to hell and do what you need to do.
I come from an evangelical family, I'm sure they will condemn what I'm trying to do.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: absolutelyyou
B

Bacon and Baseball

Member
Sep 23, 2023
55
When I first looked up methods about 5 months ago, on some random sites that weren't here, Pesticides was like a top 5 option that I read about. They said certain countries were trying to limit their availability, because so many people were ingesting them. It's something I hadn't seen on this website, until now. Interesting. It must not be a very peaceful way to go
 
  • Like
Reactions: Waiting for death
R

randal_bond

Me encantaria practicar ES con Hispanohablantes.
Oct 23, 2018
288
I come from an evangelical family, I'm sure they will condemn what I'm trying to do.
I also have a background in Christianity and understand you better than most. It took me literally years of unbelievable suffering and appeals for help (unanswered) to gradually accept that "God will not give you burden more than you can bear" is just a bull, theh same way as every other "divine promise". It's what people want to believe, and religion gives us reason to do so.
Losing my religion was a very slow painful process, similar to a slow detox in rehab. I can say that religion is a way to brainwash people, and it's extremely hard to impossible to shed it off once you sincerely believe with your whole heart.
This has helped me when I listened to it repeatedly and listened to every word.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Waiting for death
dumbgirlonline

dumbgirlonline

Nighty Night Princess
Sep 30, 2023
58
Are you sure it's a good method? Haven't heard of that before
very common in SEA countries, usually farming/agricultural areas where you can obtain stronger, and more lethal types of pesticide. Though the death can take up to a whole week, its very painful. The most important part is the type of pesticide, as a normal bottle picked up at home depot probably wont kill you.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Waiting for death
D

DreamEnd

Enlightened
Aug 4, 2022
1,892
very common in SEA countries, usually farming/agricultural areas where you can obtain stronger, and more lethal types of pesticide. Though the death can take up to a whole week, its very painful. The most important part is the type of pesticide, as a normal bottle picked up at home depot probably wont kill you.
no thanks ill stick to sn haha
 
  • Yay!
Reactions: dumbgirlonline
H

hardtruth

Member
Oct 9, 2023
48
Please get medical help. Try a more doable method. You're just going to suffer ALOT.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Thalassa and Waiting for death
absolutelyyou

absolutelyyou

peaceful
Jul 26, 2023
168
I'm so sorry you've found yourself in this place of not only emotional pain but also now physically pain. I hope if you are still with us you're not suffering too greatly and if you're not that you did not have to deal with too much pain for too long.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Waiting for death

Similar threads