Discussion What does life feel like for you?

[IDontKnowEverything]

How do you see and experience this world?
Write as much or as little as you wish.
It can be your genuine well thought about feelings and views, it can be your current or a past state of mind. Anything you wish to talk about or wish you talked about.
I post this here because I wish to understand. But also if you believe it can help in any way, you are welcomed. Write away anything at all here.
What even is your perspective on it all?
I won't be able to respond to every comment, I'm very exhausted. But I will read everything you write attentively, and truly much love to all of you.

 

[Leonszabs]

Typically, everyday goes by fast and I end up getting anxious and upset at myself for not doing more. I take care of my little ladies (my dogs) and do things like submit job applications, but I feel like I am just "here." I workout and try to eat, but my mom implanted an eating disorder in my brain, so I basically struggle eating a lot of the time. When I do eat though, she always has to comment about what I am eating. I talk to my friends and play video games with them; I end up having a lot of fun, but it is only a minor distraction.

I have several mental illnesses, one that I struggle with is the urge to pull my hair out. When I was younger, I would pull out my eyelashes and eyebrow hairs to the point where my fingers would hurt a lot. I didn't get bullied by anybody at school; I got bullied by my own family. I still struggle with this a lot and I think I try not to talk about it because it still makes me sad lol. It has been literally I think ten years since this first began. I'm getting old.

I've gotten better with time, but I have a long way to go. This sounds corny, but after watching the new Superman movie, I felt more hopeful than ever before.

 

[Grog]

I'm usually on edge or uneasy much of the time. When I'm not feeling that way, everything feels bland and miserable.

But, around certain people, in certain circumstances, I feel really good!

I think I'm just profoundly damaged from trauma and I still have a lot of healing to do.

 

[kunikuzushi]

Torture. I spend every second thinking of what to do to ease the pain. I feel better when someone wants to be with me, but it feels like I'm always begging people to be with me which pushes them away more. So I end up being alone, feeling like I'm never good enough. This leads to panic attacks.

 

[Eternal Disaster]

For me life is like walking through a storm on an endless path . The darkness keeps on increasing. Even though I am tired I cannot stop. All the people are lost behind and now no one is next to me. Like I am always haunted by something. I am destroying myself with each passing second and I cannot stop this destruction. This uneasy and awful feeling never goes away.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Visualize the worst hell the worst pain u can imagine. Now make it a trillion times worse . That's what life existence and this world is to me.

Since Non-existence forever is the opposite of life eternal Non-existence is as good as the worst hell is bad

Its beyond evil they constantly glorify this nightmare called life , and made every guaranteed suicide method into crimes

They have most people believing that anybody wanting suicide to escape this evil prison is mentally ill

 

[Gl1tch3d G1rl]

To me it's like falling deeper and deeper into a dark hole that never ends, but simontaniously it all feel like a weird, horrible dream.

 

[dearlydeparted44]

I feel like I never belonged here. The story of happiness that I was told isn't what made me happy. I feel like life is either a weird, warped game, or an unfortunate set of circumstances gone violently wrong. I don't want to fit in with the human race, because I see what the human race is doing to itself. I see what it values. What makes them happy. I'm glad that I'm not that way. I'm glad that I don't fit in. It means that whatever created this took time to make me. It means I'm not one of the monsters I see everyday. Not because I'm "better", but different. So, I see this life as an experience that I will be leaving.

 

[r.m.216]

Everything is horrible and you expect it to stop finally and return to normal but the curtain never closes

 

[FuneralCry]

Existence to me is the most torturous, futile burden that I never would had chosen and never would had wished for and I always find it so dreadful to be conscious in this deeply undesirable existence forced to suffer in this existence that always felt like a mistake to me where there is no limit as to how much one can be tortured just to die in agony from old age.

I'd just never wish to exist and I see existence as an abomination that just causes harm and suffering and all I want is peace from it, I just want to be unconscious for all eternity, I wish to erase this existence so it's like I never suffered at all, no matter what I'd always prefer to not exist but only never suffering at all is true perfection to me, I just want for all to be gone and forgotten for me in non-existence and as long as I exist I'll only wish and hope to never exist again.

 

[fedup1982]

I've had years of hell. Bad times have come and gone, the bad times were horrendous. I'm finally coming into a good period thank fk. The last 9 months were like psychological torture. I hope everyone here gets the same recovery I've had, or if you don't want it, find your peace the "other way"

 

[Dejected 55]

I am alone. I want to crawl into a hole and shut myself off from everything. Instead I peak out sometimes for no real reason. Food tastes bland to me now, but I still eat. Nothing is enjoyable anymore. I was never exciting anyway, but I do not want to do anything I don't have to do. There is no point to anything. The world seems to be falling apart and I do not believe I will miss anything when I am gone that I do not already miss. I am numb.

 

[F@#$]

A never ending cycle of pointless existence and needless misery.

 

[Pale_Rider]

yah its torture. A cold dark place from birth.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

A swirl of emotions, thoughts and feelings - positive and negative.

The warmth of a good experience which becomes a welcoming, but sometimes bittersweet memory; the constant regret and anger at everything that I have missed out on. The excitement at the prospect of my goals being reached with enough discipline and motivation; the emptiness at the loss of close friends, and knowing that from now on I will only be surrounded by those who I have no connection to or bond with. The painful mental conflict which stops me from both enjoying life, but also ending it, and gives me the feeling that I am trapped.

 

[sickofwaiting]

it feels polarizing. at times i feel so wrapped up in my own thoughts that the world seems to pass me by. other times i am so sensitive that every touch, every word, every look, feels like i'm being burned from the inside out. sometimes i'm just so exhausted i can't feel.

 

[kitkat9234]

Horrible.

 

[Forever Sleep]

A never ending sequence of chores.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Prison. Torture. Slave labor. Futility.

 

[unluckysadness]

Cruel