What does "being happy" mean?

[fazzle]

I was listening to a podcast today and a speaker defined happiness. It was happiness = having a purpose (day to day in what you do for a living that you are passionate about) + having good relationships (friends, family etc).

That really stuck with me as I think he's right and I've never in 40 years had either. It's sad that I've never really experienced being happy, I don't even know what it feels like.

What does happiness mean to you or how do you define it? Have you ever been happy before?

 

[avalokitesvara]

That's a pretty utilitarian view of happiness. I don't agree that it's universal. For some people, freedom is their happiness, not purpose/responsibility. For some, being blissfully alone is their happiness, not having social ties.

For me happiness is the ability to be quiet. All anxiety and striving fades and I just exist in that moment. Within myself and within the world. I feel this way often in nature, with animals, walking at night, driving. It's fleeting, but it's real. Knowing these moments exist can sometimes be enough even if I feel unable to have them all the time due to my mental and personality issues.

Happiness is individual. Happiness is you figuring yourself out, paying attention and loving yourself. Even if it's weird or something someone else finds bad. Like for me, I know being alone, even lonely, and in touch with melancholy and suffering, actually makes me happier. Trying to avoid or deny my morbid side makes me unhappy. Most people would say engaging with dark things is going to make you feel more depressed, but that's not true for me.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'd define his description more as contentment. I suppose many of my happier moments were because I was with loved ones. My career also used to be my life. But, I wouldn't really say it made me happy. It certainly made me unhappy when it was threatened though- which was/ is always- it's creative.

But sure- I'd agree, those are two major things that must make a person's life easier. We spend at least one third of our lives working- most probably. Obviously, that's going to taint things if we hate our job or find it meaningless.

Happiness for me though is a more fleeting emotion. I think it can absolutely come about as the result of being around people we really care about. I think you almost need some stability career wise in order to relax enough to be happy. I do anyway. But- that's the major problem for me. My career has never been stable. Even when it did give me a sense of purpose, it was always uncertain. So- as a consequence, I'm constantly worrying about it.

Also- while people can bring you the greatest joy, they can cause you the deepest pain too. Even if it's through the pain of loss- when they die. I eventually came to the conclusion that people weren't worth the risk.

I'd agree more with the above comment though. Happiness can be gained through all sorts of things. Someone doing their favourite hobby can be happy in that moment. That involves neither career nor family. In a way, it can be an escape of those two things! I think it's very individual as to what makes us happy.

 

[Pluto]