What are your feelings once youve decided

[cazza82]

What do people feel once you have made that decision to end it and CTB do you feel dissociated exactly how does it feel

 

[TheHolySword]

For me life is still the same. I still get up and go to work and live. One day I'll be at peace but nothing is different right now.

 

[ma0]

Empty, in one word.

 

[cazza82]

For me life is still the same. I still get up and go to work and live. One day I'll be at peace but nothing is different right now.

I've had something happen this past week and it's just the last hit I can take it's one thing after another like constant I never have a break I can't take anymore hits people are talking to me I literally don't hear a word their saying it's like I'm not me it's totally weird like a fog like nothings real

 

[CogitoMori]

Whenever I actually have a date set I get this high, giddy feeling like mania I guess, sometimes so much that I get a little bit dizzy from it. It's not actual happiness (sustained lifestyle contentment over long periods of time), but the rush feels so fucking good and the motivation that stems from it allows me to function like a normal person.

 

[floop]

i have planned this specific CTB attempt since the middle of december, i finally have all my resources and have finally set the date. honestly it's euphoric also a bit strange, in the sense that i am so excited to find eternal peace (at least that's my genuine hope) but doing things this past week like showering and watching tv makes me feel some type of way, kinda like "huh, this is one of the last things i'm doing," but i don't really think of that in a negative way. it's all a relief and thrilling at the same time, also planning all of this has felt like some sort of secret mission that no one can know. finding this forum has been the biggest highlight recently just getting to read all of these real & raw accounts from everyone, it makes me feel validated not so alone

 

[cazza82]

i have planned this specific CTB attempt since the middle of december, i finally have all my resources and have finally set the date. honestly it's euphoric also a bit strange, in the sense that i am so excited to find eternal peace (at least that's my genuine hope) but doing things this past week like showering and watching tv makes me feel some type of way, kinda like "huh, this is one of the last things i'm doing," but i don't really think of that in a negative way. it's all a relief and thrilling at the same time, also planning all of this has felt like some sort of secret mission that no one can know. finding this forum has been the biggest highlight recently just getting to read all of these real & raw accounts from everyone, it makes me feel validated not so alone

I was alone to then I found this forum I love the zero judgement