Discussion What are your fantasies about your ctb or death?

[Yuki K]

I have always fantasized about my ctb and how it'll go. I want it to be the most grotesque suicide ever. With blood all around, intestines and organs forcefully gauged out of the body. I'd stab my chest and stomach with all my might causing all the blood shed and cut my limbs up. I know I wouldn't be able to do all this because of the agonizing pain but thinking about it is not wrong, is it?

 

[SilentSadness]

Well that's a bit concerning, personally I just want to die peacefully and cease to exist. I hope you find some peace anyway.

 

[Shadowlord900]

I'm hoping to CTB after my drug cocktail wearing my trench coat, surrounded by all my favourite plush toys while listening to Phantasy Star music.

 

[Sparr0w]

i think i'd like to dissect myself.... but an actually painless method is probably what i'll go for X)

 

[LaVieEnRose]

At this rate being able to CTB period is beginning to seem like a fucking fantasy...

 

[darkdarkdark]

My fantasy is that I will see my grandad again. He loved me a lot. Wish I can tell him I love him one last time.

 

[FuneralCry]

My ideal way to ctb would be very peaceful, I wish to drink some Nembutal and just fall into a deep sleep for all eternity where at that point I won't even be aware of the fact that I'm dead. There is nothing more ideal than having the ability to peacefully drift away into nothingness.

 

[tieiwi]

Mine is that once I ctb all the people that have hurt me will regret what they did. Many times I have spoke up about my pain and was told I was overreacting or creating drama. All my life my pain was never taken seriously. But their actions have drove me to these suicidal thoughts. So once I ctb then my pain will be recognized.

 

[bellinda]

Currently, I'm outside of home but when I'm back I have new really intrusive thoughts about how I want to do this. I know I decided against antifreeze being the ideal tool to go, but damn. I keep fantasizing how this will be. Just like last time, I'll transition into my suicide peacefully and seamlessly. I'll swallow two different anti vomits (domperidone and ondasetrone). And to good music I'll down antifreeze. I'll take this at midday so that the effects happen at night and nobody will likely check on me. Throughout the night I'll be facing the painful effects and I'll keep suffering until the next day and finally it just kills me.

What do I require to put this into action:
I ask my dad if I can go abroad for life opportunities, he says no and I acknowledge that life has no hope (which he'll likely do, he won't let me go because he's muslim trash and I'm a woman).

My mouth waters over the thought of death. I want to go so bad.

 

[Sad Avocado]

mine would just be peaceful, ill drink some sn and peacefully go to sleep while being in front of a castle (the place i first met her) during the sunset

 

[020x]

I'm scared of a lot of blood. I would rather take a high dose of N and just lay down and wait till I fall asleep, forever.