What are the most messed up and/or grossest things you’ve done while being in the trenches of depression?

[dontsaveher]

No judgement here
This is a safe space

 

[larvicide]

pretty common, but not washing myself. it got to the point where if u opened my door it smelt like my room was crammed with unwashed discord mods. i felt like one too

 

[spiders.in.my.head]

cutting myself out in the open, in public. i remember standing at a bus stop and just... slicing away. no one was around to see thankfully, at least as far as im aware.

 

[sulvumnolo]

Joined this forum.. JK JK. I started watching LOTS of suicide videos trying to picture that being myself.

 

['Sraom]

held an empty gun to my head quite a number of times and pulled the trigger

 

[dragonofenvy]

I stayed in my bedroom for something like, 2 weeks straight without showering or changing my clothes. I bet the smell was terrible.

 

[GodzillasBiggestFan]

not taking care of myself and smell bad, not change clothes, let my room get messy. it was really bad and i am still so embarresed about it.

 

[dontsaveher]

pretty common, but not washing myself. it got to the point where if u opened my door it smelt like my room was crammed with unwashed discord mods. i felt like one too

I get it, taking care of yourself and your environment becomes the most difficult task when you don't even want to be alive and why do humans so high maintenance. It doesn't help that I've always hated showering even when I wasn't depressed

Joined this forum.. JK JK.

Yes definitely one of the more disturbing ones but we are all so desensitised to it…

I started watching LOTS of suicide videos trying to picture that being myself.

Me too…I consumed nothing but videos from watchpeopledie when I first found it

held an empty gun to my head quite a number of times and pulled the trigger

Damn…I can't imagine your mental state while resorting to this. I can see myself doing this if I had access to firearms too. I also imagine that I would find it easier if I keep a gun next to me and shoot myself as soon as I wake up. I feel like I have the most courage at this time

not taking care of myself and smell bad, not change clothes, let my room get messy. it was really bad and i am still so embarresed about it.

No one should be embarrassed…we are all just humans that didn't ask to be born