My niece is 2 years old and I will never see what type of person she grows up to be. I am a huge Knicks fan and will never see them win an NBA championship. My favorite mangas Kingdom and Hajime no Ippo I will not be there for the ending of. I will never experience a fulfilling romantic relationship.
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rainw3rld4ngel
︻デ═一
- Sep 13, 2023
- 72
pretty much nothing from the life that i have to work with now.
maybe there were things that could have come from a different branch in the past, but i cant actually think of any real decisions i could have made at any point that may have lead to any better outcome. and anything that lead to a conclusion seems to me to have had a 'positive" outcome, in a way.
for almost two years ive had this on my mind in a serious way, (beyond just ideation while trying, as it would have been in the past), and so for a real length of time ive even thought about if there was any meaningful or cool thing i could do before going. theres a bladee lyrics where he says 'i just need one moment' and ive had that on my mind. but for example, if i bought ice cream and ate that somewhere on my own, i dont think i would enjoy that. and most things are like that for the same reasons. the best thing i could think of seemed to be playing a videogame in late 2023.
as for right now, i did briefly get into the playtest for Space Station 14 (a remake of a really weird online game called space station 13) and i think if i had more time i would have enjoyed that a bit more. but i cant in the state of mind im in right now anyway.
i think against the odds, if somehow in my life i met someone who was also interested in like weird music (or just a common shared interest like the above i guess), then even so, even after those 1 in a million odds, they in turn probably wouldnt be able to see a reason of their own to talk to me. while there are lots of things making the above really unlikely in the first place, and more just a concern from my past, i dont even think it would have helped cause they probably wouldn't be as isolated as me, & me liking something cool or whatever isnt really enough benefit for me to be added to anyone else's life. i could show interest in the things they might otherwise want to talk about, but they wouldnt see a reason to talk about it to me. (and now for me its the same anyway) (& i did play an instrument, this wasnt just about being a listener..)
i took a first year music class at uni recently and someone liked ed sheeran and another person liked jacob collier. if ur not a nerd like me maybe u dont understand why thats funny (but it is honestly really funny). so the first part of meeting someone is a 0.01% chance and the second part of them talking to me is multiplying by another 0.01% chance. but i have so many other bigger problems that make it all impossible anyway, in the past as well as now, it doesnt even matter anymore.
i enjoyed listening to music while i experienced it, and i experienced a Lot of it in some brief final NEEThood. but its 2025 now and my head is empty
lots of different things have flashed before my eyes at times, but my brain feels fried, like those parts might not even be properly working anymore at the real event its meant for.
i wonder if my final moments will be painful & stretch the seconds into years, if my survival instinct will be kicking in, and if so, if i might still feel deathly bored in the back of my mind
Overall, i wish i met more people so that there might have been something to miss
(as usual when i type a lot i feel like im interrupting, like taking over someone elses thread, but i was mostly on topic here or giving background info i guess, sorry..)
maybe there were things that could have come from a different branch in the past, but i cant actually think of any real decisions i could have made at any point that may have lead to any better outcome. and anything that lead to a conclusion seems to me to have had a 'positive" outcome, in a way.
for almost two years ive had this on my mind in a serious way, (beyond just ideation while trying, as it would have been in the past), and so for a real length of time ive even thought about if there was any meaningful or cool thing i could do before going. theres a bladee lyrics where he says 'i just need one moment' and ive had that on my mind. but for example, if i bought ice cream and ate that somewhere on my own, i dont think i would enjoy that. and most things are like that for the same reasons. the best thing i could think of seemed to be playing a videogame in late 2023.
as for right now, i did briefly get into the playtest for Space Station 14 (a remake of a really weird online game called space station 13) and i think if i had more time i would have enjoyed that a bit more. but i cant in the state of mind im in right now anyway.
i think against the odds, if somehow in my life i met someone who was also interested in like weird music (or just a common shared interest like the above i guess), then even so, even after those 1 in a million odds, they in turn probably wouldnt be able to see a reason of their own to talk to me. while there are lots of things making the above really unlikely in the first place, and more just a concern from my past, i dont even think it would have helped cause they probably wouldn't be as isolated as me, & me liking something cool or whatever isnt really enough benefit for me to be added to anyone else's life. i could show interest in the things they might otherwise want to talk about, but they wouldnt see a reason to talk about it to me. (and now for me its the same anyway) (& i did play an instrument, this wasnt just about being a listener..)
i took a first year music class at uni recently and someone liked ed sheeran and another person liked jacob collier. if ur not a nerd like me maybe u dont understand why thats funny (but it is honestly really funny). so the first part of meeting someone is a 0.01% chance and the second part of them talking to me is multiplying by another 0.01% chance. but i have so many other bigger problems that make it all impossible anyway, in the past as well as now, it doesnt even matter anymore.
i enjoyed listening to music while i experienced it, and i experienced a Lot of it in some brief final NEEThood. but its 2025 now and my head is empty
lots of different things have flashed before my eyes at times, but my brain feels fried, like those parts might not even be properly working anymore at the real event its meant for.
i wonder if my final moments will be painful & stretch the seconds into years, if my survival instinct will be kicking in, and if so, if i might still feel deathly bored in the back of my mind
Overall, i wish i met more people so that there might have been something to miss
(as usual when i type a lot i feel like im interrupting, like taking over someone elses thread, but i was mostly on topic here or giving background info i guess, sorry..)
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What it feels like to be neurotypical even for a day. How do the neurotypicals think? How does it feel like to instantly understand social cues? How does it feel to not care about discomfort? Cuz neurotypicals seem to never be bothered by highly uncomfortable things such as clothing, chairs etc.
And also I'll probably never have good legs that don't fail me if I don't give them special attention and in general I won't have a body that doesn't require gentle care.
And also I'll probably never have good legs that don't fail me if I don't give them special attention and in general I won't have a body that doesn't require gentle care.
Sometimes I wonder about all the future films, games, music etc. I may miss out on. Still, that will happen one day regardless when I die. Plus, I doubt I'll have the capacity to regret anything once I'm dead. While it's intriguing- what may lay ahead, I'm not convinced it's good enough to want to stick around for.
I suspect there are a lot of places I would have liked to visit. Still again- it's that whole: nice but, nice enough? Probably not.
I think at one point, people were very important in my life. So many of them have already died now though and, I'm estranged from most of the others. So, I suppose it's selfish but true at the same time: While I only wish the best for their futures, I don't feel the need or desire to be around to witness them.
It's kind of good though, it makes me feel at ease with the decision to leave at least.
I suspect there are a lot of places I would have liked to visit. Still again- it's that whole: nice but, nice enough? Probably not.
I think at one point, people were very important in my life. So many of them have already died now though and, I'm estranged from most of the others. So, I suppose it's selfish but true at the same time: While I only wish the best for their futures, I don't feel the need or desire to be around to witness them.
It's kind of good though, it makes me feel at ease with the decision to leave at least.
Traveling the world. I would love to see beautiful nature everywhere (and some man-made things) but I do not have the money to do that nor will I ever. I have also lost my zest for life and I do not think I would have the same appreciation when seeing nature.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 43,597
I wouldn't as I'd personally be relieved to never exist ever again, I just don't wish to experience anything at all rather I just want peace from the cruelty, suffering and torture of existing and no matter what I'll always see existing as only suffering, I just wish to be unconscious for all eternity with all finally gone and forgotten about. I find it a futile, torturous burden having to exist at all, for me non-existence really is all that is positive and desirable but more than anything I wish I was never burdened with this existence I personally always saw as a mistake at all.
Haematemesis
Student
- Jan 12, 2025
- 166
I won't be able to see people's reaction on my death and it gives me fomo hahaha
amyuwu
Member
- Apr 3, 2025
- 80
Michi_Violeta
Without her I'm just a cheap Louis Krages
- Feb 3, 2025
- 494
My dreams come true. Running an 11 second pass at my local track with my car, living with a partner, kissing my ex and hearing her laugh again as I step on the gas...
It'll also be hard not seeing my nephew grow up. I could've taught that kid some stuff, English, German, how to write an article, how to heel and toe a manual transmission car.
It'll also be hard not seeing my nephew grow up. I could've taught that kid some stuff, English, German, how to write an article, how to heel and toe a manual transmission car.
relapse
Member
- Mar 8, 2025
- 67
Unhumanly.
Human(less) - already quit life
- Feb 24, 2023
- 372
living together with someone who love and cherish me, that won't happen
my wedding, ive been planning it my whole life, my friends weddings, my graduation, my little sisters entire future. my career. so many dreams i wanted to make come true. theres so much i wanted to do.
MathConspiracy
Trapped in a (prison) cell of organic molecules
- Mar 25, 2025
- 245
Being a famous writer and THEN dying of suicide. I've always imagined myself becoming a famous artist, shocking the world with my suicide, a bit like Chester did.
I actually wanted to write comics myself. I was getting into drawing and looking up a bunch of online courses.
I felt like I had good ideas for a story but even as a hobby it wouldve been enjoyable. I feel i lost the spark for it dont know if it will ever come back
chemicalburns
Member
- Dec 8, 2024
- 28
I missed out on teen romance and every time I think about it I get a really bad anxiety attack
divinemistress36
Angelic
- Jan 1, 2024
- 4,712
dead-orchids
ready to go
- Apr 15, 2025
- 16
I'm sad I'll never travel out of my timezone. And I've always wanted to see the ocean on the other side of the country.
But honestly, I'll take never being able to travel again if it means I also don't need to feel all this pain ever again.
But honestly, I'll take never being able to travel again if it means I also don't need to feel all this pain ever again.
catfriend
meow!
- Apr 3, 2025
- 204
x3la
Member
- Feb 8, 2025
- 32
Going to university right after high school, and experiencing student life, figuring things out while being surrounded by people the same age in the same situation. I wasn't eligible for uni after HS, and even if i was, Covid put a stop to all of the fun activities :/
Subhumano
I dont have friends
- Apr 20, 2025
- 169
BRAINWORMS
dust to dust
- Jul 20, 2020
- 149
If this OCD episode ends me once and for all:
- Seeing the northern lights with the love of my life.
- Seeing a total solar eclipse with my dad.
- Seeing one of my favorite bands with my high school best friend.
- Seeing/experiencing cool things with people I love in general.
Probably I will never be able to travel or go on vacations outside the US for a few reasons actually, I'm never going to be able to go back to NY, I'm never going to be able to go do fun things with my siblings again, I'm never going to be able to go back to school idk why it says I'm a student on here, I'm never going to be able to celebrate my birthday again(and haven't been able to for several years), I'm never going to be able to get a dog or a bird, I can't ever even afford application fees for art things and can't afford new supplies, I'm never going to be able to get my own voice lessons again or piano lessons either, I'm never going to be able to help my mom or little brother from my dad like I wanted to even though they treat me like shit. I probably wouldn't be invited to either of my siblings weddings and they will likely have them in places they know I can't travel to. My grandma always treated me like a spinster so yeah I guess at this point it's to be expected that I'm never going to get married. My family never even asks about that anymore when that's what they always used to ask about now they only ever have bad things to say about me. Regardless, I am never going to be able to afford to have kids I think. I'm never going to be able to have a house or my own apartment either.
FoxSauce
Emotional unstable like and IKEA table
- Aug 23, 2024
- 590
Love and understanding
Ik people can be there for eachother but the sad fact that sometimes you have to deal with things alone and cry by yourself
Ik people can be there for eachother but the sad fact that sometimes you have to deal with things alone and cry by yourself
cme-dme
Ready to go to bed
- Feb 1, 2025
- 482
I would love to explore the world...Go to other countries and see different cultures. I've always had an interest in cities but I've been stuck living in a very rural area for most of my life and I have never liked living out here v_v I've always wanted to visit Switzerland and the Netherlands. I will most likely never have the money to do things like that though :(
I'm a person with PTSD and a former soldier, I'm sad because I will never experience how it is - to just live after 39 without these symptoms and without major regret, now I can only think about how my life could have turned if I was a little smarter :(
