Venting Welfare Checks and the Internal Debate

[Goyasan]

So, the sketchier website I was going to source my SN from fell through. Now I'm finally at a point where I believe I can securely and reputably buy SN another source. I'm talking 120gs+ with shipping as quick as overnight. I did some cross-referencing and they seem legitimate to the point that I'm 95% sure more than two people on this forum purchased from them too with verifiable results. Now, here's the kicker.

I want to buy this, I have the money to buy this, but I don't want to play Russian Roulette and risk getting a welfare check from the boys in blue.

I know that there isn't any other option for me if I want to get SN but I already have a documented history of one suicide attempt and I have had a single welfare check in the past so I worry that I may be a bit of a target or something, which sounds narcissistic the more I think about it. I do know that the people who sourced from this site didn't get a welfare check to my knowledge, but still. I know there's not much I can do other than biting the bullet and hoping for the best but shit, I really can't get a welfare check while still living with my parents.

 

[amor.dor]

I also have doubts about the SN I bought. I'm thinking of buying another SN because, even though I bought it directly from an agricultural market and they say it's 99% pure, I'm still unsure. I don't want to test the purity directly on myself.

 

[Goyasan]

I also have doubts about the SN I bought. I'm thinking of buying another SN because, even though I bought it directly from an agricultural market and they say it's 99% pure, I'm still unsure. I don't want to test the purity directly on myself.

There's always test kits, they sell them online and they're pretty cheap too.

 

[Jadotine]

So, the sketchier website I was going to source my SN from fell through. Now I'm finally at a point where I believe I can securely and reputably buy SN another source. I'm talking 120gs+ with shipping as quick as overnight. I did some cross-referencing and they seem legitimate to the point that I'm 95% sure more than two people on this forum purchased from them too with verifiable results. Now, here's the kicker.

I want to buy this, I have the money to buy this, but I don't want to play Russian Roulette and risk getting a welfare check from the boys in blue.

I know that there isn't any other option for me if I want to get SN but I already have a documented history of one suicide attempt and I have had a single welfare check in the past so I worry that I may be a bit of a target or something, which sounds narcissistic the more I think about it. I do know that the people who sourced from this site didn't get a welfare check to my knowledge, but still. I know there's not much I can do other than biting the bullet and hoping for the best but shit, I really can't get a welfare check while still living with my parents.

Sameeee

I have found some websites where I could buy SN online but it just seems way too easy to order from. I know people say its accessible, but like its so easy that I am paranoid that if I order from them I will get a not so good surprise at my door days later...
I don't have anyone to cross-reference sources so I will have to wait for now :(

I am also living with other people (they're not always there but still) so if there's a welfare check its basically over for me.
If worse comes to worst, I'll probably still order it even soucee isn't confirmed because I don't have that much time left anyways.