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Baskol1

Baskol1

No life, no problems
Aug 11, 2019
1,030
It is hard to stay positive, even for a day if the problems seem to be overwhelming. For example im autistic, i have anxiety, im depressed, i have chronic pain, i dropped out of school, i dont have a job, and never had. Its very hard so stay positive with many problems. And its hard to not become suicidal. And what if it becomes even worse in the future? I would like to stay positive, but its extremely hard. Because as i said i have just too many problems in life. And im just too broken already. Life destroyed me already, and im just dead inside. But im not ready to kill myself either. Maybe, maybe life gets better. But, how exactly? I mean im not really able to work, let alone to get a decent job, or even a nice career. I dont see why i should live into old age. Not if live does not get better, or even worse. For example if i end up homeless, become blind, or worse. Maybe i become terminally ill someday? But i just dont see how i could achieve a normal life. Even if things stay the same for years, it would be horrible, and boring. Very boring I dont really want to die, i just want a normal life. But i cant live a normal life. And let alone an above average life. It seems to me that autism is often a death sentence. Does anyone else have autism and struggles to live a normal life? Does anyone actually want to live, but just not this life?
 
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