Venting wasted another day in bed

[Leonard_Bangley39]

Im on vacation in Tokyo. The place everyone wishes they could go. I only have so much time before my trip ends and i have to go back home.

And yet here I am, rotting away in my apartment wishing i could kill myself and hating everything about myself. by the time i wake up, its already late into the afternoon and i just lay in bed rotting away.

Every day i waste just makes me hate myself even more and want to kill myself. Who knows if I'll ever get the opportunity to come back here ever again. I should be doing as much as i possibly can. And yet all im doing is bed rotting and cutting myself.

Why.

 

[niki wonoto]

Back in 2019, I was traveling alone in Tokyo, and many other 'hidden gem' beautiful places in Japan. But, even back then, I was depressed. I don't know if it's because I just traveled alone by myself there, or is it because of the existential depression, escaping from reality (before going back to reality again eventually), etc2.

Even me being somewhat still quite 'privileged' back then, still doesn't mean that my life is already perfect (in fact, I feel like a failure).

Don't get me wrong, though. I did enjoy my 'solo travel' back then, in fact, I kinda really miss it, as now my financial situations is getting harder. But still, the 'emptiness' was even still there, back then.

And yeah, I also used to sleep in my hotel/hostel, until afternoon. Even in Shirakawa-Go (one of the most beautiful places & spots in Japan), I basically just spent my entire day sleeping all day long, instead of 'busy' traveling there.

 

[ipmanwc0]

Im on vacation in Tokyo. The place everyone wishes they could go. I only have so much time before my trip ends and i have to go back home.

And yet here I am, rotting away in my apartment wishing i could kill myself and hating everything about myself. by the time i wake up, its already late into the afternoon and i just lay in bed rotting away.

Every day i waste just makes me hate myself even more and want to kill myself. Who knows if I'll ever get the opportunity to come back here ever again. I should be doing as much as i possibly can. And yet all im doing is bed rotting and cutting myself.

Why.

That's natural, if you think you should be enjoying yourself it's harder or impossible. You can't force enjoyment. Especially when you don't have good mental health. If you try it just makes you stressed. Let yourself be. There will be more opportunities in the future.

 

[fadedghost]

Im on vacation in Tokyo. The place everyone wishes they could go. I only have so much time before my trip ends and i have to go back home.

And yet here I am, rotting away in my apartment wishing i could kill myself and hating everything about myself. by the time i wake up, its already late into the afternoon and i just lay in bed rotting away.

Every day i waste just makes me hate myself even more and want to kill myself. Who knows if I'll ever get the opportunity to come back here ever again. I should be doing as much as i possibly can. And yet all im doing is bed rotting and cutting myself.

Why.

i saw the thread title and was like "omg, that's exactly what i am going through"

but i'm not in tokyo

lol

also bed rotting, not wanting to do anything, in despair...

just saying hi. hope you feel better.

try to force yourself to see kyoto if you can, i never got to see kyoto, probably never will