Discussion was anyone responsible in making you suicidal?

[schatzbunny]

was anyone responsible in making you suicidal? how so?
now i do acknowledge that at the end of the day we are all responsible of our own actions, but we can't simply ignore people who have broken us or even made us feel life is not worth living. mainly i wanna hear you guys's horrible relationship stories so i dont feel alone in my suffering

 

[Unlucky777]

Yes the traumas and emotional abuse from my last relationship landed me where I am and the only way I see out is CTB. You're not alone in feeling how you feel :)

 

[shutdown.exe]

My aunt and uncle. They've always wished me ill and wanted me dead since I became rich and successful. They burned down my apartment, and later their son stole a large sum of money from me. When my cousin died under unknown circumstances, they accused me of his murder and wanted me to go to prison or die. Damn idiots!

 

[thelostautistic]

Yes but it was combined with my circumstances as well.

 

[zdeweilx]

My parents made me suicidal

 

[scordatura]

Right now, I've only myself to blame. Although, the past definitely hasn't helped. Suppose the worst of it was a really fucked up relationship with someone... he's now in prison. Later I dealt with some really malicious people, heavy screwed my head up. Feels it lead me to be someone I really don't like right now.

 

[impossible_victory]

Maybe maybe not? I really have bad memories and i don't remember my childhood very well. I am mainly responsible because i always feel unwanted. I don't see a future

 

[youpi]

Down the road yes, my uncle, always been the most helpful.. to keep me under his con,trol.
He knows about my plans but he thinks its yet another failure. Lied on hospital bed.

 

[idkwatimdoinghere]

was anyone responsible in making you suicidal? how so?
now i do acknowledge that at the end of the day we are all responsible of our own actions, but we can't simply ignore people who have broken us or even made us feel life is not worth living. mainly i wanna hear you guys's horrible relationship stories so i dont feel alone in my suffering

in every situation i put myself in i just end up wanting to end it all, what people did to me dont matter anymore, something is just wrong with me, and even if i could design my life the way i want it i would be suicidal anyway, my parents, exes, teachers, employers could have contributed in a way but it doesnt matter, i feel like a coin in a jigsaw puzzle, i dont belong anywhere

 

[ThePollinator]

Me myself and I

 

[Useless Idiot]

Yes, its not really a relationship though. Its my parents' son who is responsible. He is like a psychopath. Like a goon. Since he has started being like that, home has become an unbearable hell. He causes trouble everyday. He is too psychopath he even treats parents really badly.
Since he started making home a hell, I started thinking about ctb seriously. I have had regrets and pain before, but I never seriously thought about ctb.

 

[hitagi-crab]

If I had to choose one person, it'd be my mom, but it's been quite some time since I was in contact with her and I've since had many other experiences and difficulties. The trauma I have from my childhood is a through-line in most of my problems, but whether that makes her ultimately responsible... well, I'm not sure.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, I wish to cease existing as a result of being burdened with this terrible, torturous existence that never should had been imposed, to me existence is just the most cruel, dreadful mistake that just causes all this terrible, dreadful harm and suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured and for me non-existence is just all that's positive.

For me ceasing to exist would be the positive solution to find peace from the torture of existing, it's just so horrific to me how a human can be tortured in this existence for decades longer just for one to face the agony of old age and for me every second is torture to be conscious, to me existence is the problem, existence is just so evil, all that existence ever does is just torture existing beings, to me the existence of life is the most terrible, devastating tragedy.

 

[sulvumnolo]

It's not fair to blame her. I have bpd and she has every right to move on if that's what best for her. But she was my everything and she did it in a way that hurt so badly. So didn't have to be cruel.

 

[dontletthembribeyou]

I don't blame any particular person, I think I'm just a casualty of late stage capitalism

 

[spiders.in.my.head]

the people behind my childhood traumas. being depressed at such a young age truly fucked me up, and i dont think i can ever be a truly well adjusted, stable person because of it.
some recent events have certainly added to the way i feel, but i think, if i had a more stable mind to begin with, these recent events wouldn't have afftected me nearly as much.

 

[thefarter]

yeah whoever doxxed me actually. yeah :3
i know they won't care when i kms.
but hopefully they won't doxx anyone else in the future
yaaaaay

 

[ifihadnever]

Ironically the very people that brought me into the world....they are long dead now tho. But a lot of damage from others along the way. Unfortunately not being able to recieve the correct healthcare from my Dr is the reason my CBT needs to be imminent and the hell mental health servcies put me through.....

 

[Spite]

Yes, mainly my father, who abused me and terrified me for the first 24 years of my life before he disowned me. But asides from him there are other people who have made me suicidal - bullies from my school years especially.

Currently it's my co-workers at my job who make me feel suicidal.

 

[Melancholys]

The mental institutions. I was stuck in a plethora of them through my childhood and the experience I had at those locations across multiple states awful. It isn't therapeutic at all, those places end with you complying just to get out of a traumatic experience it feels like. Honestly that's the biggest factor I'd say for me, it truly ruined my childhood and made things even worse mentally for me.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Maybe we were both on a path of self-destruction. Just at different times. He was depressed and suicidal. Didn't want to talk and decided to leave to save himself. This decision destroyed me and I've been suicidal since. We are both to blame, but while separated now by distance, I still believe and have some hope in a future.

 

[Nightingale93]

I'd say parents are definitely responsible. The child abuse compared to the insane micromanaging helicopter parenting has left me stunted and completely unprepared for adult life, to the point where I just feel like wanting to end it all. I don't think I'll ever be able to learn all that I should have learned had I been given the freedom and social environment to do so.

 

[schatzbunny]

No, I wish to cease existing as a result of being burdened with this terrible, torturous existence that never should had been imposed, to me existence is just the most cruel, dreadful mistake that just causes all this terrible, dreadful harm and suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured and for me non-existence is just all that's positive.

For me ceasing to exist would be the positive solution to find peace from the torture of existing, it's just so horrific to me how a human can be tortured in this existence for decades longer just for one to face the agony of old age and for me every second is torture to be conscious, to me existence is the problem, existence is just so evil, all that existence ever does is just torture existing beings, to me the existence of life is the most terrible, devastating tragedy.

girl that is not what i asked… do you even read the original posts or just copy and paste your r/im14andthisisdeep rants everywhere

 

[SoLowHollow48]

Good question. If you've found me on previous threads here, you'd already know that I was and still am completely devastated by the death of my ex. She killed herself too. She was here once on this site, looking for SN manuals.

I was suicidal since the day my father died but those months and years went in a blip, there was college, there was my mom with her illness, and I sort of decided to just push through for her. I think I knew of the existence of this site at that point but didn't really go through with exploring.

Now that I'm unemployed, still grieving, and running out of cash, I'm kind of considering it again.

Ultimately, the answer is yes. My dad made the thought possible, my ex made me realize that it's accessible, and everyone else attached to everything else that has been happening in my life sort of hammers the nail on the coffin.

Well, it's still a choice of my own, really. Other people just make it more appealing.

 

[DonLockwood]

I only have myself to blame. I just wasn't made for these times.

 

[TrulyNeverCertain]

Ultimately, I'm responsible for my suicidality. I emotionally harm & distress everyone, and when they inevitably (and understandably) pull away for their own wellbeing, it leaves me with nothing worth staying for. This time, I lost my 3 best friends all at once (and contact with basically everyone else). That broke me, but also helped me realize I'm the problem. I just wish I could have known I was the problem (instead of just being my fear) before it all. Because, ultimately, what's the point in life if you can't spend it with good people, without figuratively chewing them up.

 

[locketofroses]

A variety of people definitely pushed me further this way, though I'm not 100% sure I wouldn't have ended up this way regardless. The main contributors were three girls I went to school with. Two of them bullied me for years. The things they put me through led to my discovery of self harm and additionally suicide. The third didn't bully me. She was worse than a bully. She was my "best friend" who ultimately sided with and defended the other two girls after the cops were called because of the severity of what they did.

 

[Jon Arbuckle]

No, I wish to cease existing as a result of being burdened with this terrible, torturous existence that never should had been imposed, to me existence is just the most cruel, dreadful mistake that just causes all this terrible, dreadful harm and suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured and for me non-existence is just all that's positive.

For me ceasing to exist would be the positive solution to find peace from the torture of existing, it's just so horrific to me how a human can be tortured in this existence for decades longer just for one to face the agony of old age and for me every second is torture to be conscious, to me existence is the problem, existence is just so evil, all that existence ever does is just torture existing beings, to me the existence of life is the most terrible, devastating tragedy.

Why do you insist on replying to threads if you're not even going to add anything to what the OP said? We've all read your "existence is suffering I hate existing bla bla bla" posts before, you never even add any new insights or thoughts to each post. you just regurgitate the same talking points in a slightly different order with every post. I'm not fully convinced you aren't a bot.

 

[GirlOfThought06]

was anyone responsible in making you suicidal? how so?
now i do acknowledge that at the end of the day we are all responsible of our own actions, but we can't simply ignore people who have broken us or even made us feel life is not worth living. mainly i wanna hear you guys's horrible relationship stories so i dont feel alone in my suffering

Repeated bullying and exclusion from my peers. At age 8 I began thinking if I died, my funeral would be a party because everyone would be so happy I was gone. It got worse when my mom turned abusive

 

[CuckoosInvisible]

No. I just ended up like this.