• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block. If you're located in the UK, we recommend using a VPN to maintain access.

Querlista

Querlista

Member
Jan 12, 2021
73
Idk why I'm here again, I'm having a bad day and Idk.. just need to ramble about what's going on in my head lately
So, I've been bulimic since I was 16 (24 now). I got hospitalized two times last year due to failed attempts (aka people finding amd admitting me before they succeeded) and it was a horrible time leading uo to my attempts as well as being IP but I kinda miss it?
I've been better since january, like a LOT better and I do NOT wish to be in that mind set again. I'd rather kill myself lol but I miss being cared for. I miss people being concerned. The second time I attempted my surrounding didn't even react anymore, my mother never even asekd what happened but the first time everyone wanted to visit and listen to me. Urgh Idk what I want..
I've been obsessed with loosing weight lately. As I said I've been bulimic for a few years now with several temporal recoveries and atm it's not that huge issue but Idk I want to be anorexic so bad. I KNOW how bad EDs feel amd how isolated they make you and how hard it is to stop. I do. And I know it would ruin all the progress I made. But I still really want to be underweight and be admitted with a feeding tube, being force fed, weight every day, forced to go to therapy and what every. Idk I'm having a bad day and my brain is confusing me and I'm honestly just waiting for the day to pass bit at the same time I don't want it to pass ever as I never want to get up and go places and go on with my life again. I wish I was dead so I wouldn't have to think anymore
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Sensei and WornOutLife
W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,163
I really wanna lose weight too but I'm just a mess and love junk food and alcohol.

Whatever happens, I hope things get better somehow.

Hugs and love,

Matt
 
Querlista

Querlista

Member
Jan 12, 2021
73
I really wanna lose weight too but I'm just a mess and love junk food and alcohol.

Whatever happens, I hope things get better somehow.

Hugs and love,

Matt
Thanks, Matt ❤
I do appreciate you responding. I wish you the best too and may we drop those pounds lol
 
  • Love
Reactions: WornOutLife

Similar threads

BlueberrySylv
Replies
3
Views
227
Suicide Discussion
enjoytheride
E
xomoon
Replies
0
Views
169
Suicide Discussion
xomoon
xomoon
N
Replies
2
Views
85
Suicide Discussion
nooneyouknow
N
tylerdurden1
Replies
2
Views
81
Suicide Discussion
Ch4in3dcr0w
Ch4in3dcr0w