DeletedUser108474
Member
- Nov 29, 2020
- 56
All day long I say "kill me please" and pretend that certain sounds like the heat turning on are telling me "ok." I'm a piece of shit, incompetent, overstimulated by too much technology and no love. I can't raise my son like this anymore. I just lay down all day these days when I used to take pride in running. I don't care anymore, this has been a cycle for my whole life. This spiral never ends. I texted my only friend yesterday that people should be allowed to have the choice to leave this world by suicide in a humane and peaceful way. He hasn't replied. I wish we could start a real movement to take down pro lifers and the system. I would join that. Instead my energy just goes to draining everyone. Drain drain drain. I had a doctors appointment today and was miserable leaving it because he doesn't know what's wrong with me. I delete peoples phone numbers so that I won't bother them anymore. The only social media I have is SoundCloud and I deleted everything off of that. I need to find the courage to jump off a very high place. Hanging grosses me out. Give me the courage to not be grossed out by that. I threw all my shit around the basement and broke a bunch of crap. I hate myself and want to disappear. This site is a great resource but it's still just more screens and rabbit holes that I go down. Somehow I need to find the courage to end this sad lonely life.
