Waking up and realizing you didn't die in your sleep is one of the worst feelings ever

[iloverachel]

When you wake up, and realize you didn't die in your sleep, and have to face another awful day in this hellish prison. That's got to be one of the worst feelings. And it happens every day too

 

[Smaragdine]

When you wake up, and realize you didn't die in your sleep, and have to face another awful day in this hellish prison. That's got to be one of the worst feelings. And it happens every day too

it is.

 

[cosmic_traveler]

When you wake up, and realize you didn't die in your sleep, and have to face another awful day in this hellish prison. That's got to be one of the worst feelings. And it happens every day too

Can't fall asleep because we can't stop thinking about CTB. Then we wake up and can't believe we're still somehow breathing. We will never truly know your specific pain, but we can certainly try and empathize. Be well on your journey and may the memory of your pain become dull with time.

 

[bipbapbop]

Waking up is the most painful thing in the world and I have to do it every fucking day. It feels like getting smashed with a ton of bricks every time I realize I'm still alive.

I truly feel for you.

 

[february in alaska]

Sometimes there's a TINY split second right after I wake up where it hasn't hit me yet and I get to feel exactly how "at peace" I am. And then it all hits me. Going through that exact feeling every day for years and years and years is a kind of hell I wouldn't wish on anybody

It seriously feels like a groundhog day/time loop situation. One big cycle. Every day you hope THIS is the last time, and it never is.

 

[iloverachel]

Sometimes there's a TINY split second right after I wake up where it hasn't hit me yet and I get to feel exactly how "at peace" I am. And then it all hits me. Going through that exact feeling every day for years and years and years is a kind of hell I wouldn't wish on anybody

It seriously feels like a groundhog day/time loop situation. One big cycle. Every day you hope THIS is the last time, and it never is.

Exactly thats the worst part, it never ends. I wish I could get used to it at least. But it feels every day I still feel miserable and stuck in a life I don't want to live.

If only I could be somewhat content with my life then it wouldn't be as painful, but every day the suffering is still the same for years

 

[february in alaska]

Exactly thats the worst part, it never ends. I wish I could get used to it at least. But it feels every day I still feel miserable and stuck in a life I don't want to live.

If only I could be somewhat content with my life then it wouldn't be as painful, but every day the suffering is still the same for years

I feel you. I wish I had the code for happiness cracked like normal people seem to. It's hard to even imagine what it must be like to live like that, and enjoy waking up in the morning, and look forward to things and have an intrinsic desire to keep going.

 

[iloverachel]

I feel you. I wish I had the code for happiness cracked like normal people seem to. It's hard to even imagine what it must be like to live like that, and enjoy waking up in the morning, and look forward to things and have an intrinsic desire to keep going.

Yeah I am envious of people who wake up looking forward to life and happy people

For me happiness isn't even the goal anymore. I just want to wake up and not want to feel like complete shit, which is very rare. Even a day where i don't think about suicide at all is considered a big improvement and win for me

 

[lita-lassi]

...

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I relate. I wish I died during my sleep too. Life is way too exhausting and painful for me

 

[Olisop21.]

I wish I diedcin my sleep too.

I wish I died while I was sleeping too.

 

[davidtorez]

No point waking up or getting out of bed most days really

 

[iloverachel]

No point waking up or getting out of bed most days really

No point at all

No point being alive either

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, it really is so dreadful, I really wish there's the option to just fall into an dreamless, eternal sleep, it's cruel how we cannot just free ourselves from this cruel and futile existence in peace. Permanent non-existence certainly is all that's desirable to me, I find it tiring simply being conscious and aware.

 

[AkitoSad]

When you wake up, and realize you didn't die in your sleep, and have to face another awful day in this hellish prison. That's got to be one of the worst feelings. And it happens every day too

I disagree. I may hate my life and dread it but I want to choose and revel in the moment of my death. It's stupid, I know but I wanna do it on my own otherwise it won't be quite mine

 

[YosemiteGrrl]

When you wake up, and realize you didn't die in your sleep, and have to face another awful day in this hellish prison. That's got to be one of the worst feelings. And it happens every day too

Agree. Horrible BEYOND.