Venting ventignnnn abt it hurting n thoughts (cbt n shit)

[pretzelsandballoons]

it hurts
im surprised i haven't suddenly just exploded on the spot
idk what i want- i used to i GUESS

i think i'll b burning till i ctb rather than fading away like i wanted to
i wanted to go quietly, as quietly as possible hah .

idk it's like i shoved and shoved a bunch of static in this rotting flesh

i hate myself! :D!

it hurts
it just hurts n a part of me rlly rlly rlly rlly wants to die in sum freak accident
just let it b over yanno?

idk how to get I'll "this" (whatever "this" is) out of my system
n it seems like when i get the things i want i GUESS (:P.) i get repulsed by it

how do i make things fair again? i mean, idk it seems like i have to torture myself in order for things to b fair again (again and again and again)
my mind's blanking




^^^prettyv

i've had like 16 sips of vodka throughout the day
oh my gosh it's the next day already
im gna take a sip after this n idk browse lol

attention! peeps! don't b like me - if ur gna drink tho, drink resposibly

thx,
harper
(note2self:harper maybe delete this in like 3 hours)