I don't have advice or words to heal you, as someone who can't accept himself as trans, but I can say that I accept you. Not that anybody's acceptance has any bearing on the fact that you just are, and that's all it is. I don't say that to dismiss your feelings, because believe me, I understand being tangled in the threads of your own self-loathing.
What I mean is, your traits are completely benign in a vacuum. If you zoom out and observe all of your personal characteristics on an Excel sheet, "being gay" is just another data point. It's when you introduce the variable of prejudice, which is not yours to shoulder, that you turn a neutral thing negative. Hateable. You are not hateable.
But I understand that's a small comfort in a xenophobic world, so again, I can only say with certainty that I accept you. You're brave to share of yourself even as you struggle to accept it.