I'm sick of being silenced. I can be discussing my own circumstances, having a civilised debate about topics meaningful to me and others. And someone who knows I'll see it and was supposedly my friend wants to post how annoying the topics are that we talk about. At the very least she could be direct I'm sorry, but rather than being a total ass hat, just mute the conversation or topic. If it's triggering, then mute the topic. We were literally not even saying anything nasty, we were just talking about our own experiences in a respectful manner. What's ironic, is that once again, this is another person who preaches about effects of trauma and importance of compassion and respect. I'd literally just started to open up again online with other people who struggle with the same things I do, and I see this.
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GoodPersonEffed
Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
- Jan 11, 2020
- 6,726
Sister, get your power back! Don't take on the toxicity she's dumping, put on your chem gloves and hand it back. 
"I'm sorry to hear you find these topics annoying but I and others are benefitting from discussing them. I do hope to continue see you on threads of mutual interest. I sincerely look forward to our interactions there."
"I'm sorry to hear you find these topics annoying but I and others are benefitting from discussing them. I do hope to continue see you on threads of mutual interest. I sincerely look forward to our interactions there."
That's an amazing response, thank you so much!Sister, get your power back! Don't take on the toxicity she's dumping, put on your chem gloves and hand it back.
"I'm sorry to hear you find these topics annoying but I and others are benefitting from discussing them. I do hope to continue see you on threads of mutual interest. I sincerely look forward to our interactions there."
GoodPersonEffed
Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
- Jan 11, 2020
- 6,726
I highly recommend the book BIFF. It's for (mostly) written communications with high-conflict people. Keep everything to five or six sentences max when possible, and make it Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm.
The same author as another book called It's All Your Fault that includes this method as well as a couple others, like when things get heated, asking, "What do you suggest?" That's supposed to take someone out of the emotional right brain and into the problem-solving logic of the left brain to simmer things down, reenage thinking, and get back into self-control. You may need that or the broken record technique if your friend baulks at your BIFF response and wants to keep fighting for what she wants.
Good luck!
The same author as another book called It's All Your Fault that includes this method as well as a couple others, like when things get heated, asking, "What do you suggest?" That's supposed to take someone out of the emotional right brain and into the problem-solving logic of the left brain to simmer things down, reenage thinking, and get back into self-control. You may need that or the broken record technique if your friend baulks at your BIFF response and wants to keep fighting for what she wants.
Good luck!
Thank you, these sound great! To be honest, sometimes I need to use these on the thoughts in my own head
But anyway I replied and it seems she's just ignored it lol.
